Miscellaneous ramblings of NarcKiddo

[Blueberry]

It sounds rather lame to say I literally don't know what to do with teenage NK, but the fact remains I don't so I have to feel my way here.

Not lame at all! That's what it felt like for me too when my Inner Teens (actually incl. an 11 yo) started showing up. I had NO idea what to do or say, no idea except re-surfacing memories of my own past which were clearly not useful or viable. Plus my Inner Children were frightened of the Inner Teens.

One thing that helped me was reading books on parenting daughters successfully from pre-teens upward, especially pre-teens because that sets the course. It's not that I then was able to talk my Inner Teens through much I don't think, but in my own mind things started to shift a bit. Those inner voices from FOO became less virulent as I was able to slowly take other ideas on board.

My initial idea on how to lighten the load of teenage NK was to ask her to step back and let me prove myself capable. T pointed out that was just pushing her out of the way.

  It took me a lot of trial and error (and reading) to get better at communicating with my Inner Teens. Sending you lots of good thoughts and wishes from somebody who's still on that road...