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I live in a rural location too BadMemories so I appreciate having some online tools too. 

Thanks for the link 

I've heard of Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) BadMemories, but didn't know what it's about so thank you for this resource.  I took a quick look through and it seems a bit like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (changing the way you think about something).  MAybe if you do work through it you can post about how you find it in the "Therapy" forum too.

Yes, wish I had known now what I didn't then about EF's - quitting jobs sure plays havoc with your resume.

What was it about what the woman said that triggered you do you think?

[big]

Anne, losing a child is difficult for anyone, but then having your M abandon you - that really was too much to bear, especially when you have suffered parental abuse/neglect as a child and then adult. From what you describe it does sound like a CPTSD reaction (present day stressors/pain are overlaid on childhood trauma and becomes too much). I'm so sorry you went through that. 

I must say that finding your way to the piano as an outlet and for healing was wonderful to read.  From what I have read, being able to first sit with the pain and feel it and then soothe and comfort yourself is a big step towards recovery. Songwriting is something you will be able to turn to to deal with pain rather than self-harming or dissociating.

I fouund what looks to be a good book today GT - it's called "Healing from Trauma: A Survivor's Guide to Understanding your Symptoms and Reclaiming your Life (2007) by Jasmin Lee Cori. It isn't about CPTSD specifically but a lot of what she discusses seem to be related to it. 

The description reads as follows:

While there are many different approaches to healing trauma, few offer a wide range of perspectives and options. With innovative insight into trauma-related difficulties, Jasmin Lee Cori helps you:

Understand trauma and its devastating impacts Identify symptoms of trauma (dissociation, numbing, etc.) and common mental health problems that stem from trauma
Manage traumatic reactions and memories
Create a more balanced life that supports your recovery
Choose appropriate interventions (therapies, self-help groups, medications and alternatives)
Recognize how far you've come in your healing and what you need to keep growing

Complete with exercises, healing stories, points to remember, and resources, this is a perfect companion for anyone seeking to reclaim their life from the devastating impacts of trauma.

Link - http://www.amazon.ca/Healing-Trauma-Survivors-Understanding-Reclaiming/dp/1600940617

HI Pam -- The way I understand it is that some parts of our psyche got stuck or developmentally arrested in childhood because of abuse/neglect in childhood.  I don't think it's a case of having separate personalities, rather it's a separate part that is not integrated into a whole personality.  So I think when we have an EF we are switching into one of a developmentally arrested part of our psyche.  I think I read in Walker's book that we go to our "child-mind."

So I'm going with Door #3 as well - for now anyway.  Hopefully as we all talk about these issues/concepts we'll be able to distill down the clinical to the lived experience of CPTSD.

Welcome to OOTS Pam, glad to see you made your way here too!  We're just getting rolling but hope to build a community where we can all learn about and recover from CPTSD, and best of all a place where we don't have to be perfect!  So if you aren't able to provide 100% understanding, not to worry no-one will reject you or tell you you don't belong.  We're all finding our way so just jump in, and when you're ready maybe you can make an intro post and tell us a little about your situation. 

That's that self-abandonment thing BadMemories.  This is a great opportunity for you to try and let yourself feel differently, to feel good about those thank you's.

Go ahead and soak it in, it's a good balm for healing old wounds! Say to yourself "I did do good!" then smile and let us know how it felt 

[GT]

"Persistant boogers" - good one GT!  IF I recall yours are related to work?  My big one is parties/big social events like weddings. I get a big case of anticipatory anxiety before one -  weeks ahead even. 

Badmemories - it is a lot to handle so I think you're smart by focusing on one aspect of your CPTSD at a time.  I ended up there only because I was just diagnosed in the spring when my SA got out of control.  It has since decreased, so I'm now focusing more on the overall CPTSD - tall order!

I had to read Pete Walker's book a bit at a time too KF - it's a lot to take in.  I loved finding myself in all that he wrote though, and even if it's going to be a bit of journey at least I feel like I am on the right path finally.

Hi and welcome to OOTS EmotionOverload, glad you found your way here from OOTF.

I suspect we'll eventually see lots of people who are members in both forums - dealing with people who have a PD, especially as children just sets us up for developing CPTSD unfortunately.

I hope you are able to settle into your new med regime soon.  It took me a good month on my current med (Celexa) and I'm glad I stuck with it as it has helped so much. 

If you have any resources re CPTSD to share plse do - we're 'trail blazers' in that respect, just like OOTF when it first started I would imagine. Hopefully we'll build up a cache of good resources/information as we go along.

Happy posting 

Hmmmmm, this doesn't sound like me although I have lashed out at PDs on occasion, even stomped out of a couple of jobs in a fit of anger when my boss was PD.  I'll have to think about this one a bit more.

I agree BadMemories, sorting out what personality disorders (PDs) are all about and then using the tools from Out of the FOG really helped me to notice if/when I was fawning and instead try to be more authentic about what I think/feel.

So far the only problem has been with PD FOO -- they do not like it when you don't feed their need and don't behave as you once did do they lol? 

Tks for getting this thread going BadMemories!

I know you're dealing with CPTSD, but there's a great online forum for Social Anxiety that you may want to have a look at, even if just to get some more info on it.   It's called Social Anxiety Support (SAS) and you can find it here - http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/. 

Social anxiety is one of the five main symptoms of CPTSD so you may find it helpful. I've been a member for about 6 months and have gotten a lot out it.  (I post in the +40 group as I can't relate to a lot of the anxieties younger member have about dating, etc.)   

Fellow freezer here too (now I'm singing FreezeFrame in my head - it will take forever to get rid of this ear worm lol), but I totally agree - onward!  Any small success is good.

Tks BadMemories for getting this thread and the other defense reaction threads going