Eerie Anne's Journal

[Eireanne]

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[sanmagic7]

your lists are valid and accurate, EA.  i'm hear, and i'm listening.  love and hugs

[Eireanne]

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[Eireanne]

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[Eireanne]

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[Eireanne]

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[sanmagic7]

EA, i've found care and support here like nowhere else, except w/ my D who i live with.  just want you to know i care about you and support you as you continue moving forward.

[Eireanne]

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[Eireanne]

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[Armee]

It really hurts when people are not what we need them to be. When I was grappling with coming to terms with a particularly difficult trauma I have honestly never ever felt so very alone because it felt like it was something I could not talk about with anyone ever except my therapist and that was not nearly enough. It was the most isolated I've ever felt and it felt awful. I'm sorry that something similar is happening with you, with the added difficulty that the lack of support itself is a trauma trigger and not just a bad feeling.

[rainydiary]

I resonate with the challenge of having social support and also finding social support difficult to trust and difficult to find validation within.  I appreciate the work you are doing.

[Eireanne]

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[Armee]

CBT is just telling me I need to change my way of thinking, my way of thinking is wrong I need to accept the things other people want me to think because then I'll be happy and I keep saying NO, I need to be heard.. 

This has been my experience of CBT too and many other people's experience as well. It is really not suited for complex PTSD at all and furthers the damage.

It has also been my experience that most people do not know how to respond to someone with PTSD and trauma. It is extremely isolating when you have a need to have other people understand you. My husband is learning to understand over the years. There is not a single other person in my life who does get it, besides my therapist.

Luckily there are more trauma informed therapists out there who are starting to truly understand complex trauma and how to treat it. CBT therapists generally think they know how to treat trauma and are blind to the shortcomings and make you feel like it's all your fault you aren't getting better.  That isn't true.

This stuff is complex. It is alienating. Keep opening up here as long as it is useful for you because we do get it. We may not get everything all the time in the right way but we understand the nature of the beast we are all dealing with. 

[sanmagic7]

as armee said, this is the nature of the beast - the isolation, feeling of not being heard, difficulty explaining ourselves to ourselves and others - trauma causes so much distortion in our brains, as you already know. i give you so much credit for the research you've done, the learning about the beast and the brain.  i've found it helps to know sometimes.  keep going, EA.  love and hugs

[Eireanne]

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