Deep Blue’s searching for balance journal

[Deep Blue]

Jdog,
I love our similarities. I see so much of myself in you.  Nerds of a feather forever! 

San,
Thanks for the love and strength.  Sending you some back too sweetie 
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Long but rewarding day today.  Today had a strange schedule because we worked on character education and also had our homecoming pep rally.

I think character education is so important.  What more could a teacher want than for her students to become stronger, happier and caring adults?  My students showed their wonderful hearts today and i found it very rewarding.  Students wrote comments on papers with a fellow students name on it.  So lovely.  I threw my name in there too.  Students complimented my sense of humor.  The thing that meant the most to me was that I had several students say that they could feel that I really care about them.  My heart is full. ❤️

I have a headache and am more sore than usual after leaving the chiropractor but I have a feeling I will sleep well tonight.

I was thinking of starting a trend on Facebook where I give shout outs to the people in my life that I care about... I think it would be a good way to spread the love.

Love you all on this forum 

[Three Roses]

 

[Hope67]

Did I ever tell you my son's middle name is Hope?  Well his middle name is Omid, but that means hope. Hope is such a powerful and important message in my opinion. 

Hi Deep Blue, So lovely that your son's middle name is Omid (Hope) - that is such a positive choice - and the important and powerful message you hope for your son, that is also what I hope for all of our future lives - that we can live with complex PTSD and that we can enjoy and appreciate our lives.    to you, Deep Blue.

Hope 

[Jdog]

Deep Blue-

What a nice day, spending time on character ed and SEL things, giving one another compliments and such.  I am sure the students' appreciation of your humor and caring ways got you very jazzed! 

[Deep Blue]

 
Love you all
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Cruised through some tough triggers this week.  I'm glad to be ok...

The plan is to do a little work on my own this week.  I'm going to journal a little in my physical journal and maybe continue some of my trauma narrative

[Three Roses]

 

[sanmagic7]

sweetie, i would write on your paper about your nurturing spirit, your strength, your positive outlook, your quickness to love, and how easy you are to be around - warm, comfortable, and welcoming.   you give so much of these intangibles to your students and to the rest of us whom you touch - it's a joy and a privilege to be part of your life.  thank you.

i do hope you slept well.  i'm so very glad your students give you such positive feedback.  working with kids can be a real challenge, but any time they give a little bit of themselves back to us, it's indescribable.  it's so uplifting, mind and spirit-wise, and i know that it gave me the energy to continue on.  i don't doubt you find it the same.

they are so lucky to have you for a teacher. 

i'm lucky to have you in my life.   love and hugs, always.

[Jdog]

 

[Deep Blue]

Three Roses and Jdog,
Love you both! Hope you have a great week.

San,
Thanks so much for what you wrote.  I've read it many times today.  It's helping me more than you know. 
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Woah lots of triggers today:  Trigger warning



A few weeks ago, I had cut a friend out who snapped and hit her son with a belt.  It was too much for me so I just froze her out.  Anyway she complimented a picture of my son and me from this weekend on Facebook.  I still don't want to talk to her.

I checked my school email this morning and a student had sent me her college essay to read over.  I wasn't prepared for the first line, it was a graphic sentence about self harm.  I stopped reading and asked a friend to review it instead.   She knows I struggle with SH and told me NOT to read it.

Two more student meltdowns who I took to the guidance office after calming them down. 

It's a crazy busy week and the amount on my plate adds to my stress.  Lots of self care and deep breaths for the next few days.

[Jdog]

Oh, Deep Blue- so very sorry you had to read even one line of an essay that triggered you so much.  Good that your colleague stepped in and read it instead.  That's the thing about teens - they are very lost in their own confusion and can't think how their drama affects others, especially the adults they trust. 

Do take care of you.  When someone tells me to take care of myself, it always sounds like a good idea and it takes me a minute to even think how to do that.  I hope it's easier for you.  You deserve great care.  Sending lots of support for this jam packed week ahead of you.  Just one thing at a time.  Lots of breaths, as you mentioned.

[Three Roses]

Oy. Lots of heavy stuff. But big hugs to you, I'm cheering you on from the sidelines.

[sanmagic7]

so glad you passed that along to someone else - great self-care, there.

once again, your advocacy for kids is remarkable.  i admire your strength and fortitude in working with this population.  you're great.

keep taking care of you.  lots of love, warm, caring hug coming your way.

[Deep Blue]

Jdog,
You are so right.  I've been there before with students.  I'm sure I will be there again.  I want to be an adult they trust.  It is important to me.  Even with that said... sometimes it's more important that I check in on myself in those times.  If I'm not in a good place, I'm not any help to them.

TR,
Thanks for cheering me on.  It is much appreciated.

San,
Thanks for the support.  Giving back to others is very important to me.  I have many that are adults now and I'm grateful I was able to guide them through some difficult times.  They are stronger now and I'm honored to have played a part in it. 
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Not a great night of sleep last night.  I was nervous because I had my principal observing me today but I also had hit quite a few triggers during the day.  I did get some flashback nightmares... I hate those.  Oh well, hoping to sleep better tonight.

Self care is the name of the game for me today.   It's hard when I'm so busy.  I had the observation today, a meeting after school, and now I need to put snack bags together for my son's soccer team and bake cookies for a staff carry in tomorrow. Ugh!

Tomorrow I have a department meeting after work and then my son's soccer game.  My week doesn't really calm down till Saturday.

So today I got my favorite coffee, talked with a friend, and helped my son draw a monster.  Hopefully going to bed early because that's important self care for me too.

[Jdog]

It's those little things built into a day that take the pressure off and help one to slow down a bit.  You make me wish I had a son with whom to draw monsters!  Yes, those after school obligations are really something.  I teach an extra class on Tuesday and tomorrow will be working an extra 1.5 hours after school as the LGBTQ task force for our district is meeting at my school.  That's actually not work, though, just a chance to give support to my students.  But traffic is another thing altogether......

Keep up the self care and here's hoping you get a good night's sleep!

[sanmagic7]

very cool - i bet it was a fab monster.

i love the way you continue to put one foot in front of the other despite the difficult times you encounter.  well done, sweetie.  you are just a lovely human being and an inspiration for us all.    sending love and hugs filled with nurturing and light.