Learning to heal, Larry's journey

[Larry]

i'm sorry i haven't been here too return all the support,   i did have 3 drinks today.  only 3.  i might have a few more now that i a home.  i am working all day tomorrow.  i don't really like most holidays, so working i think will help. 

[Hope67]

Hi Larry,
I hope that your day goes ok, and that work is helpful - I know you don't like most holidays, so I hope work helps.  Sending you a supportive hug, if that's ok 
Hope 

[Larry]

thank you hope !

[dollyvee]

Hi Larry,

Hope the holiday was ok for you.

dolly

[Larry]

i don't know what to say anymore,  i feel like i am stuck ,  i drank too much last night and walked home,  my wife will not talk to me.   i didn't drink at all on thursday.  i have been so up and down.  i don't knw what i am going to do today.  i would sleep all day but i can't sleep. 

[Armee]

I'm sorry Larry. I feel a lot of pain and confusion coming through.

When's your next therapy session? It feels like they are so far apart!

[rainydiary]

Larry, I appreciate you sharing.  It is challenging to feel stuck.  I hope that you find small things to help you feel like you are moving in the direction you would like.  I also think it is ok (however very uncomfortable) to not know the direction you are going in. 

[dollyvee]

Hi Larry,

I'm sorry that you're feeling stuck right now. Just want to say that we've all been there - if only we could fast track getting better! Sometimes all we can do is to keep doing the work and go through all the difficult days where it seems two steps back for every one step forward, but after time and chipping away, we do notice changes.

dolly

[Larry]

next session is friday,  starting emdr,   maybe it was just the holiday thing ,  i don't know what i am going to do today.  i am ready for our busy season.  i don't like not working.  i drank a lot last night.  mostly at home.  my wife and i had a good time.  i still feel confused and unsure of everything.  going to try to go to the gym today. 

[Armee]

What Dollyvee said is spot on.



I'll hope for a run of decent days for you, Larry, and that once therapy has a chance to really start working that you have more good days than bad. I know I had no idea how much better it was even possible to feel my baseline was so dang low.

[Larry]

thank you 

[Larry]

mood swings are out of control lately.  i was so depressed yesterday morning,  by late afternoon i was feeling so much better.  i don't know what changed.  just feels nice to not be depressed.  my 4th session is tomorrow,  starting emdr.  i am a little scared,  i just want it to be over.  sometimes i feel like i can deal with things without therapy,  i want to do a few more sessions and see what happens

[rainydiary]

Larry, best wishes for your session.  Today I was reminded that as we start to change ways we have previously coped, everything can feel worse.  I hope that you will find things that help you move forward.  It's ok to feel scared, myself and others are here with you. 

[Larry]

my session otday was very productive.   it was hard, a little painful and emotional,  but i think i helped a lot.  went to the gym after the session,  just got home.  not sure what i am going to do with the rest of the day.  trying not to drink today,  i think i had 4 drinks yesterday.  next session is a week from today,  my T wants to talk about my alcohol use.  not really sure how i feel about that

[Snowdrop]

I'm glad the session helped, Larry.