Recent posts
#81
Recovery Journals / Re: the next step
Last post by HannahOne - February 20, 2026, 06:24:26 PMGlad you could get medication and the food!
Hooray for embracing who you feel you are, being allowed to express that, and experimenting with your appearance to feel comfortable in your skin!
You're allowed to be YOU.
Quote from: sanmagic7 on February 20, 2026, 03:02:45 PMthe hair and makeup is quite new, and in fact, i've even added foundation now -
Hooray for embracing who you feel you are, being allowed to express that, and experimenting with your appearance to feel comfortable in your skin!
You're allowed to be YOU. #82
Recovery Journals / Re: Living As All of Me
Last post by HannahOne - February 20, 2026, 06:22:17 PMThank you SanMagic7! I was thinking about that, how the forum inspires us, reading others' journeys, including the struggles. It's something maybe we didn't get enough of as kids, mirroring, or twinning, or shared experience, shared knowing. Something to put us into context, a healthy context not the context of a dysfunctional unit. 
#83
Recovery Journals / Re: Living As All of Me
Last post by HannahOne - February 20, 2026, 06:20:40 PMNarcKiddo, squeaky bum time lol! 
In the US it can move a lot quicker if you have good insurance and I'm lucky to have it and live in a metro area which I do. Not as easy for everyone for sure. I'm lucky.
I am hopeful about the PT! It really helps to have someone's guidance and accountability, and as you described, they "know what you are capable of"... I get anxious about reinjuring myself as I have weak collagen, and it really helps to have someone saying I can do it---or, to back off for now. Someone to pick you up if you fall enables you to take more risks. Something we didn't have as kids, the feeling that someone has your back. So we really need that feeling now. That's amazing that he came to your house!
In the US it can move a lot quicker if you have good insurance and I'm lucky to have it and live in a metro area which I do. Not as easy for everyone for sure. I'm lucky.I am hopeful about the PT! It really helps to have someone's guidance and accountability, and as you described, they "know what you are capable of"... I get anxious about reinjuring myself as I have weak collagen, and it really helps to have someone saying I can do it---or, to back off for now. Someone to pick you up if you fall enables you to take more risks. Something we didn't have as kids, the feeling that someone has your back. So we really need that feeling now. That's amazing that he came to your house!
#85
Recovery Journals / Re: Living As All of Me
Last post by NarcKiddo - February 20, 2026, 05:47:50 PMWow. Every day for the next month...Seven medical appointments arranged in one day. I take my hat off to you. I know there is little choice but this is really impressive. I totally get why opening the patient portal is a bit - 'squeaky bum time' as we say in the UK. I'm glad you have an old friend you can talk things through with.
Your goals sound great. Varied and well-rounded. I can say from personal experience that a PT is worth his weight in gold immediately post surgery. Mine was really helpful to me after gallbladder removal and tailored my exercises perfectly. It helped massively that he already knew me - because he knew what I was capable of, which includes overdoing things massively in a bid to recover fast. Sometimes he would show up just to stop me doing things. And after pneumonia when I could barely walk, but needed to, he would come to take me for a walk. Yeah, like a dog. But I felt confident walking with him because I knew he could pick me up if I fell. I never did fall but I walked more than I would have on my own.
Your goals sound great. Varied and well-rounded. I can say from personal experience that a PT is worth his weight in gold immediately post surgery. Mine was really helpful to me after gallbladder removal and tailored my exercises perfectly. It helped massively that he already knew me - because he knew what I was capable of, which includes overdoing things massively in a bid to recover fast. Sometimes he would show up just to stop me doing things. And after pneumonia when I could barely walk, but needed to, he would come to take me for a walk. Yeah, like a dog. But I felt confident walking with him because I knew he could pick me up if I fell. I never did fall but I walked more than I would have on my own.
#86
Recovery Journals / Re: Activating myself
Last post by Blueberry - February 20, 2026, 04:41:51 PMQuote from: sanmagic7 on February 20, 2026, 02:25:23 PMfyi, reading this activated me to do my door stretch
This kind of knock-on effect, I remember they called it something like 'contagious healthy steps' back in my first couple of inpatient stays instead of the usual contagious illness etc.
Quote from: sanmagic7 on February 20, 2026, 02:25:23 PMsomatic release, isn't this?Yes, I think so.
So important. #87
Recovery Journals / Re: the next step
Last post by sanmagic7 - February 20, 2026, 03:02:45 PMthanks, NK. the smile is mostly still there. actually, 'the girls' thing got cancelled, which enabled me to get medicine for my D and go to the food bank, which i'm glad of cuz we needed it, but it is a hassle nonetheless, and would've been too much next to the drive to my galpal's place. i have a Rx waiting, but that'll wait till tomorrow. 'the girls' are now scheduled for next tues. and i think that timing will be better all the way around. so, things work out sometimes, right? 
thank you blueberry, for your support - always appreciated. the hair and makeup is quite new, and in fact, i've even added foundation now - it seems that as we get older our complexions change!!! i've kind of been noticing but ignoring the blotchiness on my face, but now i'm smoothing it out a bit more, and that feels good. i couldn't wait to wear makeup when i was in high school, but wasn't allowed (part of not letting me be a girl, which i wanted to be, which i was but not allowed to express very much). so, the hair and makeup is me reclaiming my girl-ness. never too late, right?
PC, thank you so for the support. my D IS a real sweetheart, and because of that i've been able to learn to lean on someone, finally, which feels really nice.
i've been so activated by what i've read this morning that i did my door stretch, moved my feet back and forth, and lifted weights. i can feel the movement my muscles have gone thru and it feels really good.
and suddenly there's a feeling inside, in my gut area, like something wants to be vomited out. where did that come from?
thank you blueberry, for your support - always appreciated. the hair and makeup is quite new, and in fact, i've even added foundation now - it seems that as we get older our complexions change!!! i've kind of been noticing but ignoring the blotchiness on my face, but now i'm smoothing it out a bit more, and that feels good. i couldn't wait to wear makeup when i was in high school, but wasn't allowed (part of not letting me be a girl, which i wanted to be, which i was but not allowed to express very much). so, the hair and makeup is me reclaiming my girl-ness. never too late, right?
PC, thank you so for the support. my D IS a real sweetheart, and because of that i've been able to learn to lean on someone, finally, which feels really nice.
i've been so activated by what i've read this morning that i did my door stretch, moved my feet back and forth, and lifted weights. i can feel the movement my muscles have gone thru and it feels really good.
and suddenly there's a feeling inside, in my gut area, like something wants to be vomited out. where did that come from?
#88
Recovery Journals / Re: Living As All of Me
Last post by sanmagic7 - February 20, 2026, 02:39:32 PMi like your cheer and encouragement at the end, hannah1 absolutely! sounds like you've made a lot of progress, even if at times it doesn't seem that way to you.
keep going, my friend. i'm being inspired all over the place from people here. love and hugs
absolutely! sounds like you've made a lot of progress, even if at times it doesn't seem that way to you.keep going, my friend. i'm being inspired all over the place from people here. love and hugs
#89
Recovery Journals / Re: More Concrete Steps, More ...
Last post by sanmagic7 - February 20, 2026, 02:32:24 PMblueberry, i like the idea of strands converging. something about that hit me. in a good way. i like that image, want to hang onto it. it fits w/ the idea of so many different strands of abuse/trauma that have been dangling inside us, scaring us, jumping out and spooking us when we had no idea they were there. to be able to allow those strands to converge, either to wipe each other out or meld into each other, or whatever else strands might do could very much be a recovering possibility.
so glad you mentioned it. thanks. love and hugs
so glad you mentioned it. thanks. love and hugs
#90
Recovery Journals / Re: Activating myself
Last post by sanmagic7 - February 20, 2026, 02:25:23 PMQuote from: Blueberry on February 20, 2026, 01:48:39 PMTHE ANSWERS ARE IN ME, STORED IN MY BODY.
i think this is quite the revelation, blueberry! could that, then, be extrapolated to most of us? many of us? me? fyi, reading this activated me to do my door stretch - painful but i know it's good for me cuz my muscles are so scrunched up from ongoing tension/stress. so, thank you for that.
i also like the foot wiggles, the sewing machine movements. i have actually done those randomly, but this inspired me to do them more intentionally, especially after sleeping. we'll see if i remember, but i think it's a great idea.
somatic release, isn't this? yeah, i can definitely use more of that. i don't know about finding answers in my body yet, but who knows what might turn up? thanks for writing about this. love and hugs