Recent posts
#81
Recovery Journals / Re: Papa Coco's Recovery Journ...
Last post by Hope67 - January 21, 2026, 10:13:00 AMI really like what you wrote Papa Coco - about being in the present moment and attempting to find peace there, without analysing the past and the future - just being in the moment - I am hoping to try to do more of that today.
#82
Recovery Journals / Re: the next step
Last post by Hope67 - January 21, 2026, 10:09:55 AMSending you a big hug 
as well.
as well. #83
Recovery Journals / Re: The tipping point…
Last post by Hope67 - January 21, 2026, 10:08:35 AMWow, it's great that you have reduced your abdominal issues as a result of the abdominal strengthening.
I find that my grief can come out when I'm watching TV programmes that have issues of grief within them. Even a programme called 'Ted Lasso' on Apple TV has been a roller coaster of emotions for me.
Sending you a hug
I find that my grief can come out when I'm watching TV programmes that have issues of grief within them. Even a programme called 'Ted Lasso' on Apple TV has been a roller coaster of emotions for me.
Sending you a hug
#84
Recovery Journals / Re: Dalloway´s Recovery Journa...
Last post by Hope67 - January 21, 2026, 10:04:38 AM #85
Recovery Journals / Re: Hope's Journal 2026
Last post by Hope67 - January 21, 2026, 10:03:26 AMHi SanMagic, Thank you so much
Hi Chart, I appreciate what you said, thank you
Hi NarcKiddo, Thank you for sharing your experience, and thanks for what you said
***********
This time of year is tougher isn't it. I think so. The weather and these weeks leading into Spring - but I am looking forward to Spring and the flowers - they'll be here soon, and the warmer weather. I have lots to read - and really the weather doesn't impact too much on that - as it can be cosy to read whilst rain pours. Glad I wrote this now, as I feel a little more positive already!
Hi Chart, I appreciate what you said, thank you
Hi NarcKiddo, Thank you for sharing your experience, and thanks for what you said
***********
This time of year is tougher isn't it. I think so. The weather and these weeks leading into Spring - but I am looking forward to Spring and the flowers - they'll be here soon, and the warmer weather. I have lots to read - and really the weather doesn't impact too much on that - as it can be cosy to read whilst rain pours. Glad I wrote this now, as I feel a little more positive already!
#86
Recovery Journals / Re: Dalloway´s Recovery Journa...
Last post by TheBigBlue - January 21, 2026, 09:34:39 AMThat joy you felt was real, and it belongs to you - it wasn't a mistake or an illusion. I know it is hard, but this is one of those moments where you get to gently practice believing in yourself, even if only for a few seconds at a time.
#87
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Introduction
Last post by TheBigBlue - January 21, 2026, 09:07:24 AMEric, I'm really glad you came back and shared this. What you describe is a lot to carry alone. It makes sense that all this would shake you deeply. None of what happened was your fault.
But I also hear that, alongside the pain, there is some easing right now: medication being adjusted carefully, supplements helping a bit, and moments of feeling better. It's okay for those two things to exist at the same time: weakness and relief, grief and cautious hope.
The uncertainty about the future and about whether someone in real life can truly understand you is very real. For now, I just want to say that you are understood here, and your experience makes sense in this space. You don't have to have answers yet, and you don't have to face this alone.
I'm glad you're here, and I hope you'll keep reaching out when you can.
But I also hear that, alongside the pain, there is some easing right now: medication being adjusted carefully, supplements helping a bit, and moments of feeling better. It's okay for those two things to exist at the same time: weakness and relief, grief and cautious hope.
The uncertainty about the future and about whether someone in real life can truly understand you is very real. For now, I just want to say that you are understood here, and your experience makes sense in this space. You don't have to have answers yet, and you don't have to face this alone.
I'm glad you're here, and I hope you'll keep reaching out when you can.
#88
Recovery Journals / Re: Dalloway´s Recovery Journa...
Last post by dollyvee - January 21, 2026, 08:51:28 AMDalloway, I feel like I was listening to a lot of Beatles at a particular time in my life where I think I felt along the lines of where you are now. I was unhappy in university, "being" (and failing at that --almost literally and metaphorically) who my FOO wanted me to be, working hard to pursue a degree that I didn't really feel connected to because I didn't know who I was. I had a hint of something that I wanted to do, but didn't feel "ready" to do it yet, and made the decision to leave that school for another, which caused an outrage with FOO. I didn't come out of that experience "perfect" and the image of everything I ever wanted, but it was a step along the way to uncovering all of this.
So, I feel for you, but also sometimes these "hopes" can be anchors that keep us tethered to a certain place. I had to accept that I didn't (and don't) have all the answers, and I didn't (don't) know how it is all going to work out, just that I was going to try and do it for myself and not what FOO wanted. Of course, there are/were many different strings to this anchor in feelings, patterns, etc but I kept trying to move forward and lessen its weight.
Sending you support,
dolly
So, I feel for you, but also sometimes these "hopes" can be anchors that keep us tethered to a certain place. I had to accept that I didn't (and don't) have all the answers, and I didn't (don't) know how it is all going to work out, just that I was going to try and do it for myself and not what FOO wanted. Of course, there are/were many different strings to this anchor in feelings, patterns, etc but I kept trying to move forward and lessen its weight.
Sending you support,
dolly
#89
Physical Issues / Re: migraine tips?
Last post by dollyvee - January 21, 2026, 08:06:28 AMHey lowbudgettv,
I have a different approach to migraines. I never got them, but my dad had them repeatedly.
I think that a lot of my dad's health issues were environmental/genetic. I have been looking into my genetics for a while and there's a history of lots of IL-6/inflammatory markers in my family. I have had my own problems with histamine recently, and know that peanuts and my dad didn't mix (tho not an allergy), even though doctors say that peanuts don't precipitate migraines. Anyways, I think, like me, my dad was also suffering from mold/mycotoxin exposure after renovating our musty basement, and one of the symptoms of mold exposure are migraines. Some people have genetics which don't allow the body to detox mycotoxins and they can build up in the system causing problems and/or trigger existing inflammatory/sensitive genetics (chronic inflammatory response syndrome/CIRS and mast cell activation syndrome/MCAS).
With MCAS, stress is also a factor and yes my dad did have his own mental health struggles, but I feel like this was probably exacerbated by other environmental factors.
I hope you find some relief with it though.
Sending you support,
dolly
I have a different approach to migraines. I never got them, but my dad had them repeatedly.
I think that a lot of my dad's health issues were environmental/genetic. I have been looking into my genetics for a while and there's a history of lots of IL-6/inflammatory markers in my family. I have had my own problems with histamine recently, and know that peanuts and my dad didn't mix (tho not an allergy), even though doctors say that peanuts don't precipitate migraines. Anyways, I think, like me, my dad was also suffering from mold/mycotoxin exposure after renovating our musty basement, and one of the symptoms of mold exposure are migraines. Some people have genetics which don't allow the body to detox mycotoxins and they can build up in the system causing problems and/or trigger existing inflammatory/sensitive genetics (chronic inflammatory response syndrome/CIRS and mast cell activation syndrome/MCAS).
With MCAS, stress is also a factor and yes my dad did have his own mental health struggles, but I feel like this was probably exacerbated by other environmental factors.
I hope you find some relief with it though.
Sending you support,
dolly
#90
Physical Issues / Re: migraine tips?
Last post by Marcine - January 21, 2026, 03:04:46 AMAw lowbudgetTV,
I really feel for you. I too have experienced migraines.
The worst of them would start during the night and wake me in full fledged inferno pain. I found it very difficult/ impossible to get ahead of it at that point and just had to hang on for dear life until the vice grip on my head loosened after several hours. Excruciating.
Whenever I could sense it creeping up during awake times, that allowed me to try oral pain relievers and cold exposure (ice packs or cold water plunge), which sometimes reduced the intensity and/or duration.
Talking about the migraine's existence with loved ones who understand has helped me too.
But truthfully the breakthrough came when I started methodically tracking what happened in my life during the 24 hours prior to each migraine.
And for me, the pattern became crystal clear. When I did something fun or liberating on my own terms— boom a migraine.
When I saw truth clearly and accepted it— boom a migraine.
When I spoke up for myself and held a boundary— you get the gist.
Like an epic clash between the titans of old, established neuron pathways and the current, vibrant neuroplastic growth.
A while ago I jotted this in my journal from the internet:
"Migraines and emotional flashbacks are closely linked as both stem from trauma where intense feelings (fear, shame) from past events resurface unexpectedly alongside severe headaches.
"These aren't just headaches— they're complex neurological/emotional responses."
(sorry that I didn't keep the source of that citation)
If indeed it resonates with you that migraines and emotional flashbacks are related, then it would suggest that reducing emotional flashbacks would reduce migraines.
I have found this to be true for myself. After a long time struggling.
As Pete Walker writes, reducing the frequency and intensity of emotional flashbacks is progress. They may never completely go away.
I still get migraines from time to time, less frequently and less intensely than before, still requiring me to slow down and heal the pain that is commanding my attention.
I sincerely hope migraine pain will become less intense and less frequent for you. My empathy and healing thoughts are with you.
I really feel for you. I too have experienced migraines.
The worst of them would start during the night and wake me in full fledged inferno pain. I found it very difficult/ impossible to get ahead of it at that point and just had to hang on for dear life until the vice grip on my head loosened after several hours. Excruciating.
Whenever I could sense it creeping up during awake times, that allowed me to try oral pain relievers and cold exposure (ice packs or cold water plunge), which sometimes reduced the intensity and/or duration.
Talking about the migraine's existence with loved ones who understand has helped me too.
But truthfully the breakthrough came when I started methodically tracking what happened in my life during the 24 hours prior to each migraine.
And for me, the pattern became crystal clear. When I did something fun or liberating on my own terms— boom a migraine.
When I saw truth clearly and accepted it— boom a migraine.
When I spoke up for myself and held a boundary— you get the gist.
Like an epic clash between the titans of old, established neuron pathways and the current, vibrant neuroplastic growth.
A while ago I jotted this in my journal from the internet:
"Migraines and emotional flashbacks are closely linked as both stem from trauma where intense feelings (fear, shame) from past events resurface unexpectedly alongside severe headaches.
"These aren't just headaches— they're complex neurological/emotional responses."
(sorry that I didn't keep the source of that citation)
If indeed it resonates with you that migraines and emotional flashbacks are related, then it would suggest that reducing emotional flashbacks would reduce migraines.
I have found this to be true for myself. After a long time struggling.
As Pete Walker writes, reducing the frequency and intensity of emotional flashbacks is progress. They may never completely go away.
I still get migraines from time to time, less frequently and less intensely than before, still requiring me to slow down and heal the pain that is commanding my attention.
I sincerely hope migraine pain will become less intense and less frequent for you. My empathy and healing thoughts are with you.