Recent posts
#81
New Members / Re: What's in a Name - Part 3
Last post by ArcticSundog - January 05, 2026, 10:19:09 PMGoogle describes a sundog as "bright, often colorful spots of light that appear on either side of the sun, often resembling extra suns or detached pieces of rainbow, with red closest to the sun and blue on the outside".
ArcticSundog is a nod to where I grew up and then I included sundog for a couple of reasons. I've always thought sundogs were beautiful but recently when I've thought fo them I've been reminded of masking. Something I've done extensively all my life. I think it's the idea that the false suns being visible can distract attention from the true sun.
The second reason is because some cultures view a sundog as a sign of hope and purpose. I thought including the reference might remind of why I joined the group. This might be helpful on tougher days when I'm feeling overwhelmed and hopeless.
ArcticSundog is a nod to where I grew up and then I included sundog for a couple of reasons. I've always thought sundogs were beautiful but recently when I've thought fo them I've been reminded of masking. Something I've done extensively all my life. I think it's the idea that the false suns being visible can distract attention from the true sun.
The second reason is because some cultures view a sundog as a sign of hope and purpose. I thought including the reference might remind of why I joined the group. This might be helpful on tougher days when I'm feeling overwhelmed and hopeless.
#82
Frustrated? Set Backs? / Re: Disillusionment and collap...
Last post by Blueberry - January 05, 2026, 08:25:46 PMQuote from: TheBigBlue on January 03, 2026, 04:40:30 PMwould really value hearing from others who might recognize this.I recognise it but don't have the bandwidth to write anything else on it.
#83
Recovery Journals / Re: Living As All of Me
Last post by HannahOne - January 05, 2026, 05:52:51 PMWow NarcKiddo, thank you for sharing your experience! That really moved me, "I can be completely unsure whether I need help to breathe or not." I'm sorry you have this struggle too. And, I feel so validated 
I am realizing the more time I spend on the forum how heavy the burden has been of feeling like an alien or an outlier. Very heavy. It's very well for a therapist to "get it," often after years of work but it's so much more powerful for other people to just get it, people here on the forum, for experiences that I think are rare and strange to actually be rather common and typical.
I'm willing to live the rest of my life feeling unsure if I need help to breathe or not but I would very much NOT like to live the rest of my life with the feeling of being, as you said, incomprehensible to others so often. I want to experience being comprehensible. Thank you for comprehending, for understanding and commenting.
I am realizing the more time I spend on the forum how heavy the burden has been of feeling like an alien or an outlier. Very heavy. It's very well for a therapist to "get it," often after years of work but it's so much more powerful for other people to just get it, people here on the forum, for experiences that I think are rare and strange to actually be rather common and typical.I'm willing to live the rest of my life feeling unsure if I need help to breathe or not but I would very much NOT like to live the rest of my life with the feeling of being, as you said, incomprehensible to others so often. I want to experience being comprehensible. Thank you for comprehending, for understanding and commenting.
#84
Frustrated? Set Backs? / Re: Disillusionment and collap...
Last post by Kizzie - January 05, 2026, 05:50:23 PMJust my two cents BB, but CBT bothers many of us because often we didn't feel like (or were made to feel like) we were "getting it right" much as you experienced. A lot of us find CBT can be helpful for some things (e.g., I got over my fear of flying and reduced my social anxiety), but it is limited (IMO) when it comes to those deep core wounds we suffered and the symptoms they gave rise to because they are so primal/emotional in nature. They are wounds you can't think your way out of, they need to be addressed in a relational context with a T who feels safe and trustworthy just as you suggested.
Getting over a fear of flying is just not the same as the fear of ever being in a position where I have no power or control, the fear of being so vulnerable, and the necessity of doing what I have to to survive. There is every reason to continue to fear that (because I have been through it), and to do what I can to never ever feel that way again, unless and until I have someone I can connect with and who will walk through those feelings with me.
If you go to Pete Walker's site he talks about why he takes a relational approach as well as what a T needs to be for CPTSD clients. Both felt right to me since I read his book back in 2014 and still do. See https://pete-walker.com/pdf/relationalHealingComplexPTSD.pdf.
Good luck with your upcoming therapy appointment, I hope you are able to get across why it was not helpful when your T tried to reason you out of a feeling of a loss of safety.
Getting over a fear of flying is just not the same as the fear of ever being in a position where I have no power or control, the fear of being so vulnerable, and the necessity of doing what I have to to survive. There is every reason to continue to fear that (because I have been through it), and to do what I can to never ever feel that way again, unless and until I have someone I can connect with and who will walk through those feelings with me.
If you go to Pete Walker's site he talks about why he takes a relational approach as well as what a T needs to be for CPTSD clients. Both felt right to me since I read his book back in 2014 and still do. See https://pete-walker.com/pdf/relationalHealingComplexPTSD.pdf.
Good luck with your upcoming therapy appointment, I hope you are able to get across why it was not helpful when your T tried to reason you out of a feeling of a loss of safety.
#85
Successes, Progress? / Re: Post-Traumatic Joy
Last post by Marcine - January 05, 2026, 05:13:27 PMCheers, SO! Clink of the champagne glasses! Sante!
So happy for you and the post-traumatic joy you experience!
So happy for you and the post-traumatic joy you experience!
#86
Recovery Journals / Re: Living As All of Me
Last post by NarcKiddo - January 05, 2026, 04:42:24 PMQuote from: HannahOne on January 05, 2026, 06:48:47 AMThis all could be CPTSD. Not knowing what's going on with your own body, misreading signals, lack of awareness, confusion, doing things that don't really make sense, mindlessly following instructions.
Oh, yeah. That's CPTSD. I'm having a discussion in a lung forum about when to take extra doses of an inhaler. I have been told to do so by the doctor if I need to. Well - I don't know what that means. The poor folks on the forum are all trying to help but most of them don't comprehend that I can be completely unsure whether I need help to breathe or not. Your bandages story does not surprise me in the least - except for the bit about the medics putting them on stupidly tight in the first place.
Frank sounds wonderful!
#87
Recovery Journals / Re: Living As All of Me
Last post by Armee - January 05, 2026, 03:35:21 PMAck I'm so sorry your sleep has been so bad! That makes everything worse. I hope you are able to.sleep better tonight. 
So much relatable content here...it doesn't change that it sucks but hopefully there's some comfort that this is so so common in cptsd. It isn't you being messed up but the side effect of surviving terrible things.
I hope the new meds work better. Good job figuring it out!
So much relatable content here...it doesn't change that it sucks but hopefully there's some comfort that this is so so common in cptsd. It isn't you being messed up but the side effect of surviving terrible things.
I hope the new meds work better. Good job figuring it out!
#88
General Discussion / Re: Letter to Gabor Mate
Last post by Marcine - January 05, 2026, 03:15:12 PMWow, Dollyvee, thank you for posting this.
Some bits in this powerful letter that particularly stuck out to me—
"You do not need to lie. You just do not correct the record."
"You are charismatic. You have carefully cultivated an image: the imperfect, compassionate "uncle Gabor" who speaks truth to trauma. It disarms people. It builds a following. It makes them stop asking hard questions."
"there is too much of your darkness running free for me to carry your light forward."
... our human abilities to stand up and question, to bring accountability, to demand transparency, to advocate for integrity, and to orient to truth, even when we encounter our own shock and disappointment...
Yes.
I will think on this today, and be inspired to take action in my life.
Some bits in this powerful letter that particularly stuck out to me—
"You do not need to lie. You just do not correct the record."
"You are charismatic. You have carefully cultivated an image: the imperfect, compassionate "uncle Gabor" who speaks truth to trauma. It disarms people. It builds a following. It makes them stop asking hard questions."
"there is too much of your darkness running free for me to carry your light forward."
... our human abilities to stand up and question, to bring accountability, to demand transparency, to advocate for integrity, and to orient to truth, even when we encounter our own shock and disappointment...
Yes.
I will think on this today, and be inspired to take action in my life.
#89
Conferences/Courses / FREE, Power of Meditation, sta...
Last post by Blueberry - January 05, 2026, 02:44:32 PMhttps://powerofmeditationsummit.com/season9/?ref=https%3A%2F%2Fkelly-blaser.mykajabi.com%2Fa%2F2148211044%2F8hSKmLND%3Fkuid%3De418e470-0552-4e3c-aaca-fc7ced501ea0-1767623669%26lid%3D1072366%26kref%3D89I2Lnpbt5Yf
From the blurb: "Join us to explore how we can transform not just how we
talk to ourselves, but our very understanding of self,
reality, and consciousness."
Topic: meditation and somatics
Among the 30 speakers, there are certainly some with a name in the fields of trauma, including EMDR, somatics and neuroscience: e.g. Arielle Schwartz, Sarah Peyton, Ron Siegel. Not to say there aren't possibly other great speakers to learn from.
As always: These types of conferences and summits are free during the conference. Once you sign up, you'll get a fair number of emails suggesting you pay for permanent access. That's really not necessary. The material gets recycled - it'll come up in another conference/summit in a few months!
+ see my post here for additional general info: https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=16458.0
#90
Conferences/Courses / Re: FREE, 21st Jan. 2026, Sham...
Last post by Blueberry - January 05, 2026, 02:27:36 PMAs always: These types of conferences and summits are free during the conference. Once you sign up, you'll get a fair number of emails suggesting you pay for permanent access. That's really not necessary. The material gets recycled - it'll come up in another conference/summit in a few months!
+ see my post here for additional general info: https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=16458.0
+ see my post here for additional general info: https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=16458.0