Recent posts
#81
Recovery Journals / Re: Healing journal (tw) Anger...
Last post by Hope67 - November 15, 2025, 02:28:53 PMHi StartingHealing,
Just wanted to wish you the best for the social meeting you're having this weekend - I hope it goes well and that you enjoy it.
Hope
Just wanted to wish you the best for the social meeting you're having this weekend - I hope it goes well and that you enjoy it.
Hope
#82
RE - Re-experiencing Trauma / Re: (Warning: PA, SA , EA talk...
Last post by Dalloway - November 15, 2025, 12:35:09 PMI know your post was made a few weeks ago, but I wanted to express my sorrow about your situation and everything you went through because of your abusive brother. I believe it´s very difficult to be around someone who reminds you of the past abuse and your traumatic memories. I wonder if you managed to talk to your psychologist about this, I hope you did.
#83
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: new here - still in the st...
Last post by Dalloway - November 15, 2025, 11:43:04 AMHi and welcome to the forum. Well, where to start? because most of what you explained was something I would tell about my life. It resonated with me so much and partly I´m sorry for that because that means we suffered a lot and continue to do, but on the other hand, your writing about this made me feel seen and validated, so thank you for that. I´m really sorry for everything you´ve been through, it´s really hard to feel invisible and not worthy of love. My background story is very similar - being constantly ignored, the only attention I got was the negative one. No one saw, comforted or validated me, no one ever told me they love me and appreciate me and that they are happy I´m alive. I was the invisible child, the one that needs no love and care, the one that can provide for herself, and apparently it was ok for everyone to think that a child can exist without love. But I was slowly dying inside, just like a plant would die without sunlight and water.
Your story about the old friend you reached out to was something I´ve just experienced, so it hit really hard. I had a seven years long grudge with my former partner, who I had a terrible breakup with. We haven´t talked since then, but I´v always carried the burden of guilt and wanted to apologize to him because of the things I said to him. I met him two days ago and that gave me a confidence boost to finally text him, which I did - the answer was rather cold and distant, he let me know that he doesn´t want to reopen the topic and doesn´t want to talk to me at all. Boy, it hurt so much, even though rationally I knew I have to accept his reaction and that he has a right not to accept my apology. But my emotions don´t care for rationality, so it was horrible, it still is, because his rejection reminded me of the core rejection from my mother, the invisibility, the worthlessness and the frustration: why can´t he understand that I was in huge pain when I did those things? That I was not ok back then? And most importantly: that now I am a way better person, way healthier, way more healed and much wiser that I would never do that to him or anyone else again? I felt so desperate to make him see and hear me...
It´s so comforting and so scary at the same time, how someone can hit the bullseye of my lived experience so precisely...I´ve always been doing this positivity thing, not letting myself to feel bad or stuck, because I´m afraid that if I allow myself to be down, I stay there forever. And it´s very hard to advocate for myself when the only one doing it for me is me. It makes me feel just more isolated and more alone.
I don´t mean to hijack your post, so sorry if it felt like that. I just had so many things to say because everything you wrote, resonated with me very much and made me feel validated. I thank you for that and hope that by writing these things down you felt a little relief at least.
Your story about the old friend you reached out to was something I´ve just experienced, so it hit really hard. I had a seven years long grudge with my former partner, who I had a terrible breakup with. We haven´t talked since then, but I´v always carried the burden of guilt and wanted to apologize to him because of the things I said to him. I met him two days ago and that gave me a confidence boost to finally text him, which I did - the answer was rather cold and distant, he let me know that he doesn´t want to reopen the topic and doesn´t want to talk to me at all. Boy, it hurt so much, even though rationally I knew I have to accept his reaction and that he has a right not to accept my apology. But my emotions don´t care for rationality, so it was horrible, it still is, because his rejection reminded me of the core rejection from my mother, the invisibility, the worthlessness and the frustration: why can´t he understand that I was in huge pain when I did those things? That I was not ok back then? And most importantly: that now I am a way better person, way healthier, way more healed and much wiser that I would never do that to him or anyone else again? I felt so desperate to make him see and hear me...
Quote from: beauty4ashes13 on November 02, 2025, 02:55:47 AMEven knowing this is a safe space to be real, I find myself wanting to temper everything I say with some note of positivity and a counting of my blessings because that is what has been ingrained in my psyche.
It´s so comforting and so scary at the same time, how someone can hit the bullseye of my lived experience so precisely...I´ve always been doing this positivity thing, not letting myself to feel bad or stuck, because I´m afraid that if I allow myself to be down, I stay there forever. And it´s very hard to advocate for myself when the only one doing it for me is me. It makes me feel just more isolated and more alone.I don´t mean to hijack your post, so sorry if it felt like that. I just had so many things to say because everything you wrote, resonated with me very much and made me feel validated. I thank you for that and hope that by writing these things down you felt a little relief at least.
#84
Physical Issues / Re: Skin problems in stressful...
Last post by NarcKiddo - November 15, 2025, 11:13:59 AMI have not experienced such sudden and intense reactions. However I suffer from pompholyx eczema that reliably forms on my hands at times of stress. Sometimes it is the first thing that makes me aware of increased stress, given I am so used to living with a pretty heavy stress level generally. It is only controlled by prescription steroid creams - over the counter strength does nothing.
#85
Recovery Journals / Re: Healing journal (tw) Anger...
Last post by StartingHealing - November 14, 2025, 11:25:03 PMHi San
My apologies. I removed that post.
My apologies. I removed that post.
#86
Conferences/Courses / Re: FREE, Rewiring to Break fr...
Last post by Blueberry - November 14, 2025, 10:17:16 PMI've heard a few interesting talks so far. Today there was one with an exercise in self-compassion, which made me feel calmer.
#87
Conferences/Courses / Re: FREE webinar: Mapping Your...
Last post by Blueberry - November 14, 2025, 10:15:40 PMThis was disappointing. Generally I like Alex Howard's stuff, but idk it seemed he and Diane P.H. were wasting time,a bit. Or I'm not as patient as I used to be 
Plus the last 15-20 minutes were all about trying to sell their upcoming series that you have to pay for. Oh well.
Plus the last 15-20 minutes were all about trying to sell their upcoming series that you have to pay for. Oh well. #88
Ideas/Tools for Recovery / Re: Three Good Things Today - ...
Last post by Blueberry - November 14, 2025, 10:10:13 PM1) I'm on the upswing again
2) I'm better able to clean and tidy atm
3) I did two things today that I've been putting off for months: collected my new orthopedic insoles and washed a window
4) I feel better able to go out among people
2) I'm better able to clean and tidy atm
3) I did two things today that I've been putting off for months: collected my new orthopedic insoles and washed a window
4) I feel better able to go out among people
#89
Recovery Journals / Re: starting over
Last post by Chart - November 14, 2025, 08:57:37 PMQuote from: sanmagic7 on November 13, 2025, 01:51:48 PMstill, i felt good enough to get out and walk, took a leaf stroll - one of my favorite things is crunching fallen leaves in the fallI love that too!
#90
Physical Issues / Skin problems in stressful sit...
Last post by Erec - November 14, 2025, 08:55:33 PMOver the years, I have had skin problems (dermatitis, psoriasis) that worsened during times of stress. There is certainly a genetic predisposition (but I was the first in my family to develop psoriasis), but I am fairly certain that the reactivation of trauma is a determining factor. One thing that happens to me is that, in the presence of negative or emotionally intense stress, some areas of my skin suddenly become inflamed within seconds, sometimes even bleeding.
The strangest episode was when I tried to read a collection of lectures by John Bowlby: I found what I was reading very interesting, but the skin on my forearm became so inflamed that it hurt. I would like to ask if any of you have ever experienced such sudden and intense inflammatory reactions.
The strangest episode was when I tried to read a collection of lectures by John Bowlby: I found what I was reading very interesting, but the skin on my forearm became so inflamed that it hurt. I would like to ask if any of you have ever experienced such sudden and intense inflammatory reactions.