Recent posts
#82
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Introduction
Last post by Erec - November 14, 2025, 08:00:48 PMThank you all for your kindness.
Many people probably suffer from the consequences of trauma, but it is not something that is easily discussed in everyday life, partly because shame plays a big role. Perhaps self-help groups for C-PTSD would be helpful, but I have not found any in my area. I am grateful to those who created this site.
Many people probably suffer from the consequences of trauma, but it is not something that is easily discussed in everyday life, partly because shame plays a big role. Perhaps self-help groups for C-PTSD would be helpful, but I have not found any in my area. I am grateful to those who created this site.
#83
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Introduction
Last post by LadyBoar - November 14, 2025, 06:17:46 PMWelcome Erec, it is great to have you here!
I'm glad to hear you found a good psychotherapist at least.
I think most of us struggle to find people with similar experiences to ours in the "real" world, so I hope you find comfort in knowing you're not alone in your experiences.
I'm glad to hear you found a good psychotherapist at least.
I think most of us struggle to find people with similar experiences to ours in the "real" world, so I hope you find comfort in knowing you're not alone in your experiences.
#84
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Introduction
Last post by NarcKiddo - November 14, 2025, 05:57:09 PMHello, and welcome. I'm glad you found us. I think it is a really big step forward that you have at least found a psychotherapist who is trauma informed and knows about mindfulness and EMDR. I have not tried EMDR myself but I know a lot of people on this forum have found it very helpful. So that is good. I hope you are able to find a suitable psychiatrist, too.
#85
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Introduction
Last post by Kizzie - November 14, 2025, 03:36:30 PMGood to hear about your psychotherapist 
and hopefully you will find a psychiatrist who does know about CPTSD.
I hadn't heard of DeepL before but it seems quite useful.
and hopefully you will find a psychiatrist who does know about CPTSD. I hadn't heard of DeepL before but it seems quite useful.
#86
Recovery Journals / Re: Healing journal (tw) Anger...
Last post by sanmagic7 - November 14, 2025, 03:13:44 PM[quoteBack in the day, it was a point of pride that a person no matter their sex could handle their own fecal matter. Making a living, figuring out life as it went, having the agency of and for themselves. Did the parental units (joke) provide support? Yes, but they were more like advisors rather than people who were actively engaged in maintaining childhood dependence. ][/quote]
i don't know what 'day' you're talking about, but back in my day, when i asked my mom to show me how to cook or clean, she told me 'you'll have plenty of time to learn when you get married'. the assumption was there, my path was already chosen by that society's norms, and my mom gave me no advice on how to generate 'agency' on my own behalf.
i'm not trying to argue with you, SH, just letting you know that i see different perspectives depending on upbringing, timing, parental guidance (or lack thereof), emotional, mental, physical issues, all of which play a part on how a person can get along in life. our traumas can also push back on us, rendering us quite unable to get along according to others' expectations. i think that's part of the beauty of diversity - differing viewpoints, ways to see the world, ways to see ourselves.
i wish all of us had been given everything we needed to get along in the world on our own, be able to take care of ourselves adequately and without help, and enjoy living day to day w/o fear or anxiety.
and, i just wanted to mention, speaking to your former post, that when i spoke of womens' fear of men, it was not due to propaganda, but due to our personal experiences. I don't know any woman who i've talked to about this who has not been sexually assaulted physically or verbally in some way, shape, or form without permission, by some man, either known or unknown, in private or in public. just for myself, it's happened from strangers, husbands, in public, in private, at the workplace when i was 16 from the manager there. so, no, i wasn't speaking from hearsay, reports, court cases, nothing out in the public that might be considered propaganda. just from some of us gals chatting on what it's like being a woman. and we are afraid now.
so, once again, different experiences for different people. trauma does that. all the more reason i admire and respect the people on this forum. there are some extremely difficult situations people here have lived thru, that have wounded them in so many ways, some to the point that, like me, are unable to support ourselves, take care of ourselves, be independent like we want to. i am thankful every day, tho, that my D is here, helping me make it thru life and living. she is kindness and respect personified, and i learn to be more like that every day. so, maybe not so much childhood dependence in my case, but adult dependence now. we're all so different, aren't we? love and hugs
i don't know what 'day' you're talking about, but back in my day, when i asked my mom to show me how to cook or clean, she told me 'you'll have plenty of time to learn when you get married'. the assumption was there, my path was already chosen by that society's norms, and my mom gave me no advice on how to generate 'agency' on my own behalf.
i'm not trying to argue with you, SH, just letting you know that i see different perspectives depending on upbringing, timing, parental guidance (or lack thereof), emotional, mental, physical issues, all of which play a part on how a person can get along in life. our traumas can also push back on us, rendering us quite unable to get along according to others' expectations. i think that's part of the beauty of diversity - differing viewpoints, ways to see the world, ways to see ourselves.
i wish all of us had been given everything we needed to get along in the world on our own, be able to take care of ourselves adequately and without help, and enjoy living day to day w/o fear or anxiety.
and, i just wanted to mention, speaking to your former post, that when i spoke of womens' fear of men, it was not due to propaganda, but due to our personal experiences. I don't know any woman who i've talked to about this who has not been sexually assaulted physically or verbally in some way, shape, or form without permission, by some man, either known or unknown, in private or in public. just for myself, it's happened from strangers, husbands, in public, in private, at the workplace when i was 16 from the manager there. so, no, i wasn't speaking from hearsay, reports, court cases, nothing out in the public that might be considered propaganda. just from some of us gals chatting on what it's like being a woman. and we are afraid now.
so, once again, different experiences for different people. trauma does that. all the more reason i admire and respect the people on this forum. there are some extremely difficult situations people here have lived thru, that have wounded them in so many ways, some to the point that, like me, are unable to support ourselves, take care of ourselves, be independent like we want to. i am thankful every day, tho, that my D is here, helping me make it thru life and living. she is kindness and respect personified, and i learn to be more like that every day. so, maybe not so much childhood dependence in my case, but adult dependence now. we're all so different, aren't we? love and hugs
#87
Recovery Journals / Re: Healing journal (tw) Anger...
Last post by StartingHealing - November 14, 2025, 02:04:26 PM11/14/25
I really don't know how to explain what is slowly coming together in my mind. It appears to me at this time that there is a huge amount of behaviors going on in " society " and the behaviors of the BPD former spouse. I wonder if this is me seeing things that are not there because of the learnings I had to get through to save myself or is this something that is actually going on? I also admit that I carry the mindset? hm, expectations? something like that from the era that I grew up in.
Back in the day, it was a point of pride that a person no matter their sex could handle their own fecal matter. Making a living, figuring out life as it went, having the agency of and for themselves. Did the parental units (joke) provide support? Yes, but they were more like advisors rather than people who were actively engaged in maintaining childhood dependence.
Then again maybe it was because of the era and location. Farming communities had / have a totally different take on things that the urban mono-culture has. Growing up where there wasn't this thing about whether the plumbing was external or internal. Where a person's word, that was their bond, that it wasn't a oppressor / oppressed dynamic. It was simple, basic, took into account biology, and all the ways that biology expressed. Who was better at something? How did that fit into the over arching thing of making a living. There wasn't this ... manufactured divide that in retrospect is manufactured to achieve what is being seen today.
IDK, doing the self debate of what I'm perceiving. Because if I am right, then that will allow me to start finalizing the direction that I feel myself being drawn to while also figuring out how to navigate the crazy that currently is in play in this urban he77scape that I have woken up to.
Have a chiropractic appt this morning followed by a new freezer being delivered / old one picked up. Then the rest of the day .. IDK, perhaps I'll start sorting through things, get rid of more debris from the past.
Wishing all here, all the best
I really don't know how to explain what is slowly coming together in my mind. It appears to me at this time that there is a huge amount of behaviors going on in " society " and the behaviors of the BPD former spouse. I wonder if this is me seeing things that are not there because of the learnings I had to get through to save myself or is this something that is actually going on? I also admit that I carry the mindset? hm, expectations? something like that from the era that I grew up in.
Back in the day, it was a point of pride that a person no matter their sex could handle their own fecal matter. Making a living, figuring out life as it went, having the agency of and for themselves. Did the parental units (joke) provide support? Yes, but they were more like advisors rather than people who were actively engaged in maintaining childhood dependence.
Then again maybe it was because of the era and location. Farming communities had / have a totally different take on things that the urban mono-culture has. Growing up where there wasn't this thing about whether the plumbing was external or internal. Where a person's word, that was their bond, that it wasn't a oppressor / oppressed dynamic. It was simple, basic, took into account biology, and all the ways that biology expressed. Who was better at something? How did that fit into the over arching thing of making a living. There wasn't this ... manufactured divide that in retrospect is manufactured to achieve what is being seen today.
IDK, doing the self debate of what I'm perceiving. Because if I am right, then that will allow me to start finalizing the direction that I feel myself being drawn to while also figuring out how to navigate the crazy that currently is in play in this urban he77scape that I have woken up to.
Have a chiropractic appt this morning followed by a new freezer being delivered / old one picked up. Then the rest of the day .. IDK, perhaps I'll start sorting through things, get rid of more debris from the past.
Wishing all here, all the best
#88
Recovery Journals / Re: starting over
Last post by NarcKiddo - November 14, 2025, 01:08:16 PMJust catching up on this journal. I'm so glad you have such a good friend and that she is helping you with food. I hope this food stamps business gets sorted out soon. It must be so stressful.
I was very happy to read about your bison. I keep a small collection of stuffed animals on my bed. Just three but one of them (a wombat) is particularly comforting and I find myself reaching out for him sometimes if I am reading something difficult. I was "honoured" with my mother's childhood teddy which then of course had to be the primary stuffed toy. As an adult I find it quite a revelation just how comforting a stuffed toy can be.
I'm glad you handled the doctor appointment so well, and that your D was able to help with that. It can be so hard to deal with medics at the best of time but when they get on their high horse and talk down it is really difficult not to get shoved into a trauma response. I think it is really good that you are thinking through all the ramifications and talking them through here so that you will be well prepared for the next encounter.
I was very happy to read about your bison. I keep a small collection of stuffed animals on my bed. Just three but one of them (a wombat) is particularly comforting and I find myself reaching out for him sometimes if I am reading something difficult. I was "honoured" with my mother's childhood teddy which then of course had to be the primary stuffed toy. As an adult I find it quite a revelation just how comforting a stuffed toy can be.
I'm glad you handled the doctor appointment so well, and that your D was able to help with that. It can be so hard to deal with medics at the best of time but when they get on their high horse and talk down it is really difficult not to get shoved into a trauma response. I think it is really good that you are thinking through all the ramifications and talking them through here so that you will be well prepared for the next encounter.
#89
Recovery Journals / Re: Healing journal (tw) Anger...
Last post by sanmagic7 - November 14, 2025, 01:03:58 PMi hope sunday is something meaningful for you, SH. love and hugs
#90
Music / An Italian song about our core
Last post by Erec - November 13, 2025, 09:04:53 PMI imagine few people here understand Italian, but I would like to suggest a song by a Sicilian songwriter, Franco Battiato, performed in this case by Alice, a singer who is a friend of his. Battiato was an unusual figure in Italian music: he started out with progressive rock and then, after an existential crisis, became very interested in Orthodox Christianity, Sufism, and Eastern philosophy. I tried to have the text translated by Google Gemini, I hope it is understandable. It seems to touch on important points, such as the masks we wear in life and moments of despair:
We have weathered so many storms
And so many ancient and harsh trials
And a clear help from an invisible caress
Of a guardian
Worthy is the life of one who is awake (or: vigilant)
But even more so of one who becomes wise
And then reunites with His joy
Praise be, Praise to the Unviolated
Praise to the Unviolated
And how many useless characters I have worn (or: put on)
I, and my self, how many have endured
Arid is *
Barren is its path
How many miracles, designs, and inspirations
And then the suffering that makes you blind
In the falls there is the reason for His absence (or: the reason why He is absent)
The clouds cannot annihilate the Sun
And he knew it well... Paganini
That the devil is left-handed, and subtle
And plays the violin
https://youtu.be/mkRf4Il605s?si=ZncK3SVZS0wjwICx
We have weathered so many storms
And so many ancient and harsh trials
And a clear help from an invisible caress
Of a guardian
Worthy is the life of one who is awake (or: vigilant)
But even more so of one who becomes wise
And then reunites with His joy
Praise be, Praise to the Unviolated
Praise to the Unviolated
And how many useless characters I have worn (or: put on)
I, and my self, how many have endured
Arid is *
Barren is its path
How many miracles, designs, and inspirations
And then the suffering that makes you blind
In the falls there is the reason for His absence (or: the reason why He is absent)
The clouds cannot annihilate the Sun
And he knew it well... Paganini
That the devil is left-handed, and subtle
And plays the violin
https://youtu.be/mkRf4Il605s?si=ZncK3SVZS0wjwICx