Recent posts
#81
The Cafe / Re: The Love of Libraries
Last post by Hope67 - December 22, 2025, 03:16:51 PMI went to the library today and it was such a lovely place to be - I felt some calm and peace there. Enjoyed those moments. Have brought home some nice books to keep me happy over the festive period.
#82
The Cafe / Re: Good Things Christmas thre...
Last post by Hope67 - December 22, 2025, 03:15:39 PMHi everyone,
I know this thread was for last Christmas, but I'm looking for somewhere to just say something about Christmas, and so I came here - it's 2025 - somehow the whole thing takes on a frenzy and I just wanted to note a few moments of calm within it - hope everyone is negotiating their way through the festive times.
I know this thread was for last Christmas, but I'm looking for somewhere to just say something about Christmas, and so I came here - it's 2025 - somehow the whole thing takes on a frenzy and I just wanted to note a few moments of calm within it - hope everyone is negotiating their way through the festive times.
#83
Recovery Journals / Re: the next step
Last post by sanmagic7 - December 22, 2025, 03:03:36 PMSO, thank you for all you said. you helped normalize my feelings for me. labeling machine. yes. he also threw in 'avoidant attachment', which when i looked it up, had nothing to do w/ me. or my parents. so, all this stress, and now, hopefully, i can calm down today. thank you so much. 
thank you, NK. i hope so, too.
Marcine, i so appreciate that you wrote that. thank you very much.
i could not settle at all last nite, couldn't get to sleep till sometime around 3 or 4. i can't believe how much this disturbed me. it was just weird that he kept trying to guess at and label what i was talking about. i really appreciate what everyone said, cuz this obviously hurt me, and i only spoke w/ him about 20 min. hmmm . . . i didn't think about that before, but, yes, feeling so agitated, disrupted inside, unable to settle are things that are not good for me. i can't say how much i appreciate you bringing this forward for me. i didn't quite get it, but you all helped fill it in for me. thank you again.
thank you, NK. i hope so, too.
Marcine, i so appreciate that you wrote that. thank you very much.
i could not settle at all last nite, couldn't get to sleep till sometime around 3 or 4. i can't believe how much this disturbed me. it was just weird that he kept trying to guess at and label what i was talking about. i really appreciate what everyone said, cuz this obviously hurt me, and i only spoke w/ him about 20 min. hmmm . . . i didn't think about that before, but, yes, feeling so agitated, disrupted inside, unable to settle are things that are not good for me. i can't say how much i appreciate you bringing this forward for me. i didn't quite get it, but you all helped fill it in for me. thank you again.
#84
Recovery Journals / Re: the next step
Last post by Marcine - December 22, 2025, 01:34:10 PMSan,
"just want some help from someone who's not going to hurt me anymore."
Absolutely. Natural. You deserve this.
"just want some help from someone who's not going to hurt me anymore."
Absolutely. Natural. You deserve this.
#85
Recovery Journals / Re: the next step
Last post by NarcKiddo - December 22, 2025, 01:09:12 PMI'm sorry the potential T did not turn out to be a good fit. I hope you soon find another.
#86
Recovery Journals / Re: the next step
Last post by SenseOrgan - December 22, 2025, 11:13:53 AMHi San,
I'm so sorry you encountered this party crash T. The type is a complete deal breaker for me. So I understand it's a kick in the teeth to hope you've found a match, and him turning out to be a labeling machine. That modus operandi is of a dying paradigm. You're a human being, not a collection of labels. That's how you deserve to be treated. Especially by a T. Off course you deserve help from someone who's not going to hurt you! They are out there. I hope you can tap into your previous vibe again soon. The established doctor is still there as a solid pillar for that. Love and hugs
I'm so sorry you encountered this party crash T. The type is a complete deal breaker for me. So I understand it's a kick in the teeth to hope you've found a match, and him turning out to be a labeling machine. That modus operandi is of a dying paradigm. You're a human being, not a collection of labels. That's how you deserve to be treated. Especially by a T. Off course you deserve help from someone who's not going to hurt you! They are out there. I hope you can tap into your previous vibe again soon. The established doctor is still there as a solid pillar for that. Love and hugs
#87
Recovery Journals / Re: Marcine’s journaling forwa...
Last post by SenseOrgan - December 22, 2025, 08:30:25 AMWhat a trigger fest! It's disturbing on so many levels. Not limited to C-PTSD. AI has become a religion, in which some have put all their faith. Kafka and Orwell are spinning in their graves. I appreciate you're siding on the side of your own sovereignty, perhaps even spurred on by this madness. I often "forget" about this option in the face of such big powers and overwhelm. Even only inwardly. Thanks for the inspiration. 
#88
Recovery Journals / Re: the next step
Last post by sanmagic7 - December 22, 2025, 07:50:14 AMthanks for all the hugs and cheers, NK, but unfortunately all the good feelings didn't last very long and i'm in a very bad place tonite, crying, afraid, worried, anxious. talked to a potential T today, he sounded gentle but he loved putting labels on everything i told him, and i hate those kinds of labels, don't care about them, just want some help from someone who's not going to hurt me anymore.
#89
General Discussion / Re: Writing about the trauma: ...
Last post by Marcine - December 22, 2025, 04:25:02 AMHi Saluki,
"Maybe I should just write the novel I have in my head"
That could be an effective, positive way forward! Over the past several years I've written a sci-fi story that I am currently publishing as a web novel.
I built a world from my imagination filled with fictional characters that exemplify different aspects of myself and of significant people in my life.
I put the characters in settings, challenges, dialogues and conflicts—- and watched what happened.
My intuition had a lot of freedom to explore and to discover. Certain themes showed up over and over. I was able to explore them on my terms, on my timeline, without rush, and without feeling overwhelmed. I learned much about myself, my past, and my present.
As I look back on the story I wrote and the writing process, it makes sense to me. It was an amazing adventure, a therapeutic creative journey.
I encourage you to take a step towards your curiosity to write a fiction. I am willing to bet that a whole bunch of interesting characters are waiting to come alive, just needing your creative spark.
"Maybe I should just write the novel I have in my head"
That could be an effective, positive way forward! Over the past several years I've written a sci-fi story that I am currently publishing as a web novel.
I built a world from my imagination filled with fictional characters that exemplify different aspects of myself and of significant people in my life.
I put the characters in settings, challenges, dialogues and conflicts—- and watched what happened.
My intuition had a lot of freedom to explore and to discover. Certain themes showed up over and over. I was able to explore them on my terms, on my timeline, without rush, and without feeling overwhelmed. I learned much about myself, my past, and my present.
As I look back on the story I wrote and the writing process, it makes sense to me. It was an amazing adventure, a therapeutic creative journey.
I encourage you to take a step towards your curiosity to write a fiction. I am willing to bet that a whole bunch of interesting characters are waiting to come alive, just needing your creative spark.
#90
General Discussion / Re: Writing about the trauma: ...
Last post by Blueberry - December 21, 2025, 11:24:10 PMHelpful or self-harm?
Writing it out could be helpful for others but harmful for you. I've written bits of my story over the years, including for the OOTS book that is coming out sometime. I recall that threw me for a loop and iirc what I wrote was only a tiny bit of what happened.
I don't know that writing it all down will put it to rest. I mean, you're still going to be triggered sometimes aren't you? Especially since traumatic memories aren't linear or all verbal. I've found telling or writing bits where I will experience validation e.g. in therapy or on here is best. Just my experience might be different for you of course.
Writing it out could be helpful for others but harmful for you. I've written bits of my story over the years, including for the OOTS book that is coming out sometime. I recall that threw me for a loop and iirc what I wrote was only a tiny bit of what happened.
I don't know that writing it all down will put it to rest. I mean, you're still going to be triggered sometimes aren't you? Especially since traumatic memories aren't linear or all verbal. I've found telling or writing bits where I will experience validation e.g. in therapy or on here is best. Just my experience might be different for you of course.