Recent posts
#81
Recovery Journals / Re: the next step
Last post by NarcKiddo - January 15, 2026, 03:17:00 PMWell done, San. I'm sorry you had to drop her but best it was done quickly once it was clear to you things were not going to work.
#82
Other / Re: Our Healing Porch Part 8
Last post by Gromit - January 15, 2026, 03:01:49 PMI thought I would check in whilst I drink my tea.
#83
Ideas/Tools for Recovery / Re: The individual Healing Coo...
Last post by Chart - January 15, 2026, 01:07:30 PMChart's healing recipe (morning/daily routine, with detailed notes below):
1) 10 minutes abdominal strengthening
2) 5-10 minutes Cardiac breathing
3) 15 minutes PMR (Progressive Muscle Relaxation)
4) Twice per month EMDR therapy (and frequent binaural EMDR on my own, 40 minutes of binaural sounds, often at bedtime)
1 - Abdominal strengthening: Methode Guillarme https://www.methode-guillarme.com
This is very frustrating for me because the method and link is entirely in French, thus very difficult to access the full potential for English speakers. I need to find the "equivalent" in an English format... will update this post hopefully in the future.
Also, it's hard for me to stress how important this abdominal strengthening has been for me. It has helped my diet through improved digestion, improved intestinal functioning, my hernia, my perineum, and allows me to breath more deeply and efficiently regardless of whether or not I am conscious of it. This takes less than ten minutes per day, and I know it is helping like a background program running at all times, regardless of what state I am in...
2 - Cardiac breathing (also known as Cardiac Coherence) is a technique specifically documented to calm the nervous system, specifically around the heart. There are variations, but it usually consists of a three-second intake breath and a five-second outtake breath.
I use an App on my iPhone created by a French company, but there are lots others out there.
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.thermesallevard.respi_relax&gl=FR
Note: I know this is triggering for some people, so please go into deep breathing exercises with awareness and patience. Here's an interesting video I found on the subject:
What to do When You're Triggered by the Breathing in Yoga: A Trauma-Informed Understanding
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0fzGUPdb4A
3 - Progressive Muscle Relaxation has been the most powerful tool I have found for regulating my system and alleviating my anxiety symptoms from Cptsd. Note, I have been practicing this for two years now, on a consistent and daily basis. I do not believe in (nor is there much evidence for) rapid symptom alleviation of life-long stress and anxiety caused by developmental trauma (Cptsd). However, PMR engages a process of activation of the Parasympathetic Nervous System, which for me has been radical in reducing my intense suffering. In two years, I have "reduced" much of my suffering by around 30-40% in general and on average... it's hard to put a number on it, but I'm convinced it's helped me a lot. I have every intention of continuing and am hopeful to increase this relief from my daily anxiety. Irene Lyon speaks to the slow but steady technique of Polyvagal parasympathetic nervous system healing work. This aspect of healing has been critical to my understanding of the healing I'm trying to effectuate and "how long" it's going to take before I start to "get results":
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qxd8hTMUSOY
This is the specific PMR program I use, but there are lots on YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqqqZDSojoQ&t=816s
In line with PMR, Parasympathetic nervous system work is a HUGE topic and there is lots of info on the web and youtube. If it's new for you, I highly recommend learning about it. It's Polyvagal Theory, by Stephen Porges. Here's a video I like about the subject, but there is a lot more out there:
Pradip Jamnadas https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irn3cFHmK-Y
4 - EMDR. I've done it in the past and have begun a second round, working with a State psychologist who is not particularly trauma informed (or maybe she is, but she doesn't express very much). EMDR work is specifically linking my two hemispheres, right and left brain. This is accompanied by a lot of mourning. I feel ready for it now, at this point of my life, however, it is incredibly overwhelming.
1) 10 minutes abdominal strengthening
2) 5-10 minutes Cardiac breathing
3) 15 minutes PMR (Progressive Muscle Relaxation)
4) Twice per month EMDR therapy (and frequent binaural EMDR on my own, 40 minutes of binaural sounds, often at bedtime)
1 - Abdominal strengthening: Methode Guillarme https://www.methode-guillarme.com
This is very frustrating for me because the method and link is entirely in French, thus very difficult to access the full potential for English speakers. I need to find the "equivalent" in an English format... will update this post hopefully in the future.
Also, it's hard for me to stress how important this abdominal strengthening has been for me. It has helped my diet through improved digestion, improved intestinal functioning, my hernia, my perineum, and allows me to breath more deeply and efficiently regardless of whether or not I am conscious of it. This takes less than ten minutes per day, and I know it is helping like a background program running at all times, regardless of what state I am in...
2 - Cardiac breathing (also known as Cardiac Coherence) is a technique specifically documented to calm the nervous system, specifically around the heart. There are variations, but it usually consists of a three-second intake breath and a five-second outtake breath.
I use an App on my iPhone created by a French company, but there are lots others out there.
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.thermesallevard.respi_relax&gl=FR
Note: I know this is triggering for some people, so please go into deep breathing exercises with awareness and patience. Here's an interesting video I found on the subject:
What to do When You're Triggered by the Breathing in Yoga: A Trauma-Informed Understanding
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0fzGUPdb4A
3 - Progressive Muscle Relaxation has been the most powerful tool I have found for regulating my system and alleviating my anxiety symptoms from Cptsd. Note, I have been practicing this for two years now, on a consistent and daily basis. I do not believe in (nor is there much evidence for) rapid symptom alleviation of life-long stress and anxiety caused by developmental trauma (Cptsd). However, PMR engages a process of activation of the Parasympathetic Nervous System, which for me has been radical in reducing my intense suffering. In two years, I have "reduced" much of my suffering by around 30-40% in general and on average... it's hard to put a number on it, but I'm convinced it's helped me a lot. I have every intention of continuing and am hopeful to increase this relief from my daily anxiety. Irene Lyon speaks to the slow but steady technique of Polyvagal parasympathetic nervous system healing work. This aspect of healing has been critical to my understanding of the healing I'm trying to effectuate and "how long" it's going to take before I start to "get results":
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qxd8hTMUSOY
This is the specific PMR program I use, but there are lots on YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqqqZDSojoQ&t=816s
In line with PMR, Parasympathetic nervous system work is a HUGE topic and there is lots of info on the web and youtube. If it's new for you, I highly recommend learning about it. It's Polyvagal Theory, by Stephen Porges. Here's a video I like about the subject, but there is a lot more out there:
Pradip Jamnadas https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irn3cFHmK-Y
4 - EMDR. I've done it in the past and have begun a second round, working with a State psychologist who is not particularly trauma informed (or maybe she is, but she doesn't express very much). EMDR work is specifically linking my two hemispheres, right and left brain. This is accompanied by a lot of mourning. I feel ready for it now, at this point of my life, however, it is incredibly overwhelming.
#84
Ideas/Tools for Recovery / The individual Healing Cookboo...
Last post by Chart - January 15, 2026, 01:07:12 PMI thought it might be interesting to start a thread regarding specific techniques people on the Forum are doing in their healing journey. This is people-oriented, what you are doing on a daily or regular basis in order to heal from your developmental trauma (Cptsd). I'll follow with a "recipe" of my current healing "program". The presentation format is my own invention, but please describe your experience as you feel is good for you and you think might be of help to others.
Love and support, Chart
Love and support, Chart
#85
Recovery Journals / Re: the next step
Last post by TheBigBlue - January 15, 2026, 12:28:54 PMSan, good for you. It makes complete sense that this stirs grief, fatigue, and a bit of "ugh, do I really have to do this again?" energy. And still, you're doing it with clarity, agency, and self-respect. That is huge. That's a nervous system learning it no longer has to settle.
I'm really glad you let us walk alongside you through this. Here is hoping the next step lands differently - third time's the charm. 🤍
I'm really glad you let us walk alongside you through this. Here is hoping the next step lands differently - third time's the charm. 🤍
#86
Recovery Journals / Re: the next step
Last post by Desert Flower - January 15, 2026, 12:28:24 PMVery well done San, even if that results in not having found the right therapist yet. It's very important we let people know how we feel, that's therapeutic in itself imo.
So
and
some more.
So
and
some more.
#87
Recovery Journals / Re: Desert Flower's Recovery J...
Last post by Desert Flower - January 15, 2026, 12:15:12 PMQuote from: NarcKiddo on January 14, 2026, 03:58:59 PMI am so with you on thatAnd thank you for that too NK! Made me smile.
#88
Recovery Journals / Re: Blue Sky Blooming
Last post by sanmagic7 - January 15, 2026, 12:08:55 PMdang, blue sky, i hate those anxiety attacks that come out of nowhere, no triggers to just grab onto. i deal w/ those on a reg. basis before bed, so i know there's something there but i haven't quite pinpointed it yet. i also have those surprise types that knock me upside the head, so to speak.
i had that similar message from my F that 'average' was not good enough, not in my grades nor in how i lived my life. striving to live up to the expectation of perfection is not only impossible, but exhausting. i strive to be average now, but even that can be tricky. i think 'pass' is a good thing to strive for, and congrats on achieving that!
sending an extra hug to your self, if that's ok. and some love. glad you're here.
i had that similar message from my F that 'average' was not good enough, not in my grades nor in how i lived my life. striving to live up to the expectation of perfection is not only impossible, but exhausting. i strive to be average now, but even that can be tricky. i think 'pass' is a good thing to strive for, and congrats on achieving that!
sending an extra hug to your self, if that's ok. and some love. glad you're here.
#89
Symptoms - Other / Re: Schrodingers jealousy
Last post by Desert Flower - January 15, 2026, 11:57:46 AMQuote from: NarcKiddo on January 14, 2026, 03:30:44 PMI was now in a position of being told to be jealous and at the same time not jealous.I sounds to me like your M 'knew' you would be jealous (which might actually say more about her than about you, but I'll leave that aside) and what was actually implied was for you to not feel it. Maybe, as far as she was concerned, it would be okay for you to 'be' jealous (or any emotion), as long as you did't feel it, or if at least you didn't show you felt it. If that makes any sense. At least, that is how I relate to this. And I can certainly see how that would be very confusing. And that would also make it hard now to know what you feel at all.
#90
Recovery Journals / Re: the next step
Last post by sanmagic7 - January 15, 2026, 11:55:46 AMthanks, SO. i looked it up, lots of different translations, but i get it. jetzt geht's los indeed! thank you so much for all your support!
TBB and DF - you both made me smile. thanks so much for your encouragement and support. 
well, i sent it - it was rather short, to the point, but i ended by saying that all the distress and the neg. feelings that came up didn't seem compatible with a healthy therapeutic relationship, so i'm terminating ours and cancelling the appt. next week.
she wrote back that she was sorry i had so much distress, and hoped i could find someone who will be helpful.
so, that's #2 now that i've spoken w/ and rejected. first was that labelling guy a few weeks ago. i think i got complacent cuz my former T i met and we got on right from the go and were together 5 yrs., 2x/week, and nary a problem. this feels kind of grueling, but i know i need it - even if i don't want to!
TBB and DF - you both made me smile. thanks so much for your encouragement and support.
well, i sent it - it was rather short, to the point, but i ended by saying that all the distress and the neg. feelings that came up didn't seem compatible with a healthy therapeutic relationship, so i'm terminating ours and cancelling the appt. next week.
she wrote back that she was sorry i had so much distress, and hoped i could find someone who will be helpful.
so, that's #2 now that i've spoken w/ and rejected. first was that labelling guy a few weeks ago. i think i got complacent cuz my former T i met and we got on right from the go and were together 5 yrs., 2x/week, and nary a problem. this feels kind of grueling, but i know i need it - even if i don't want to!