Recent posts

#81

Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Hi, I'm mo and I'm new...

Last post by Hope67 - January 10, 2026, 01:32:32 PM

Welcome 

#82

Announcements / Re: This Time of Year

Last post by Hope67 - January 10, 2026, 01:30:55 PM

 

#83

Letters of Recovery / Re: To my sub-conscious

Last post by NarcKiddo - January 10, 2026, 01:20:38 PM

I probably shouldn't have laughed when I read this, Chart. But it somehow tickled me with the no-nonsense way it says it all. I guess it would be kind of handy if we could start a system of "named storms" like the weather people give us these days.

 

#84

Recovery Journals / Re: Post-Traumatic Growth Jour...

Last post by sanmagic7 - January 10, 2026, 01:19:53 PM

 

i think most of us have stayed in relationships of one kind or another too long.  i remember blaming myself for the abuse in my first abusive marriage - i told a friend that it couldn't have happened if i hadn't stayed with him.  we just didn't know what we didn't know, but now we keep knowing a little bit more every day.  to be able to recognize what we did and didn't do, and now to know what we can do, i think speaks mountains to our determination to recover from all of it.

keep going - you're doing great!  love and hugs

#85

Recovery Journals / Re: Desert Flower's Recovery J...

Last post by sanmagic7 - January 10, 2026, 01:10:30 PM

DF, i relate a whole lot to the idea of the 'what i used to be able to do' thoughts, and the uncertainty now about how much my system tolerates in reality.  being able to know where a good stopping point is for us can be so nerve-wracking!  i think it's part of the process of getting to know ourselves better in the here and now, our capabilities, our stopping points.  up and down and around and around.

after all that, tho, i do think you're doing a good job of wading thru all of it and that it'll come easier as you keep practicing.  with you all the way.  love and hugs

#86

Books & Articles / Re: Fawning

Last post by dollyvee - January 10, 2026, 10:16:29 AM

This was really valid for me especially the part about being connected to self (or how I'm interpreting it through an IFS lens), and what happens during a therapy session where one wants to earnestly "do good" so they can get better, but also don't feel like they have access to the things the therapist is talking about. Been there. I also relate to treating the therapist as the one that has all the answers and wonder if some of the struggle now between my t and I is me trying to assert more of myself, and her not necessarily being in that position any more. Would like to read the book as well.

edit: oh! I just realized that she also wrote, Believing Me, which I really related to and found helpful.

#87

Recovery Journals / Re: Desert Flower's Recovery J...

Last post by Chart - January 10, 2026, 09:47:49 AM

DF, in the second world war the Americans used the term 'combat fatigue'. Regardless what it meant to people back then, I sure as heck identify with the term right now. I'm absolutely EXHAUSTED... I've forced myself to work theses past couple of weeks... it's a complete horror. Zero energy and my body has simply said 'nope'.

Sounds like you're in similar straights. I don't want to project on you, but for me I'm guessing that my life has really been a war and I've been battling since... since conception actually... The struggle has now fully caught up with me. I'm starting to get seriously scared about the future and work. But regardless, I need to rest. I now spend full weeks in bed. I wake up exhausted, having nonetheless slept long and deeply. I'm in relatively constant pain... wait... my intention wasn't that... (All that's just my "qualifications" :-)
DF, I think it's great the realizations and changes you've made recently. And it's not easy... at all. Which "part" to listen to is a slick question. And there's certainly no quick answer. Me, I do "negotiation" internally. I try to see what's coming and what the priorities are AND THEN try to make an evaluation of what my inner children and body need. Next I wonder consciously if there's a possibility to work through all the parameters and constraints in such a way as to "satisfy" all parties... Note: I NEVER find a "solution" right off the bat. But I know from experience that the process will trickle down into my unconscious... and it's there that all the "real" problem-solving occurs.

Just some observations and random thoughts.

And YEAH! to continuing yoga!
 

#88

Recovery Journals / Re: Post-Traumatic Growth Jour...

Last post by Chart - January 10, 2026, 09:20:59 AM

I'm not proud of letting things come to this point.

Maybe... but I want to say I think you can be darn proud of yourself for coming to these realizations about your value and self-esteem. And having the courage to speak out and end these toxic relationships.
Bravo!

#89

Recovery Journals / Re: Steve M...Here We Go

Last post by SteveM - January 10, 2026, 02:21:37 AM

Thanks NK and Chart for your kind words and I hope to be here a bit more as the upheaval of the move and the new build settle down.

#90

Recovery Journals / Re: Post-Traumatic Growth Jour...

Last post by TheBigBlue - January 10, 2026, 12:54:27 AM

Thank you SO and Chart

...are worth so much more than that. We all are.