Recent posts
#81
AD - Emotional Dysregulation / Re: Feel lonely
Last post by Ran - December 09, 2025, 02:43:19 PM
#82
AD - Emotional Dysregulation / Re: Feel lonely
Last post by Blueberry - December 09, 2025, 02:33:56 PM
#83
Recovery Journals / Re: Marcine’s journaling forwa...
Last post by NarcKiddo - December 09, 2025, 01:34:47 PMWell done for being brave enough to start a journal and keep posting in spite of your fears.
I'm sorry you're struggling right now with migraine and EF. I think this time of year is tough for many of us, but of course we have no control over when the dreaded EF strikes. I've also started noticing that a long EF can rise and fall a bit. So just when I think it might have gone because I feel great one morning I realise it is actually lurking under the surface and it takes very little to ramp it up again. Your comment about what your therapist would say to you resonates with me, because I am sure my increased awareness is also a sign of healing. Doesn't make it easier to weather, though.
I'm sorry you're struggling right now with migraine and EF. I think this time of year is tough for many of us, but of course we have no control over when the dreaded EF strikes. I've also started noticing that a long EF can rise and fall a bit. So just when I think it might have gone because I feel great one morning I realise it is actually lurking under the surface and it takes very little to ramp it up again. Your comment about what your therapist would say to you resonates with me, because I am sure my increased awareness is also a sign of healing. Doesn't make it easier to weather, though.
#84
AD - Emotional Dysregulation / Re: Feel lonely
Last post by Ran - December 09, 2025, 01:31:40 PMQuote from: NarcKiddo on December 09, 2025, 01:29:13 PMThings can be like a cycle for everyone, not just our community. I think the internet has been wonderful in recent years for giving us places where we can engage when we need/want to and can pull back a little if we need a break.
It's definetly true. I don't remember having such needyness before. Now people are available for you 24/7 thanks to online enviroments. I was needy, but not in this level. I've been feeling void inside too.
#85
AD - Emotional Dysregulation / Re: Feel lonely
Last post by NarcKiddo - December 09, 2025, 01:29:13 PMThings can be like a cycle for everyone, not just our community. I think the internet has been wonderful in recent years for giving us places where we can engage when we need/want to and can pull back a little if we need a break.
#86
Recovery Journals / Re: Ran's journey
Last post by Ran - December 09, 2025, 12:46:30 PMQuote from: Chart on December 09, 2025, 11:01:47 AMQuote from: Ran on December 08, 2025, 11:56:49 AMBut trauma doesn't separate things neatly.
Yeah it makes things into a blurry mess.
#87
AD - Emotional Dysregulation / Feel lonely
Last post by Ran - December 09, 2025, 12:45:33 PMWent back to one server where left a bit due to feeling overwhelmed with bunch of new people. It was nice to be back and chat as I was feeling lonely. I chatted a lot and told them.
It's usually like I'm lonely, chat, feel lonely agan, no energy, want to chat. It's a cycle.
It's usually like I'm lonely, chat, feel lonely agan, no energy, want to chat. It's a cycle.
#88
Recovery Journals / Re: Marcine’s journaling forwa...
Last post by Chart - December 09, 2025, 11:28:27 AMQuote from: Marcine on December 08, 2025, 11:36:10 PMI imagine my therapist would say that these realizations are a sign of my healing. To which, today, I would reply with a choice expletive.
Marcine, so sorry about the migraines, ef and all its consequences. Becoming conscious of pain is extremely unpleasant. I think that's why we often feel like we're regressing and simply not making progress. As the layers of the onion peel back, there's easily a painful realization that accompanies. Pain is often overwhelming, but it is also a sign of consciousness, awareness. I'm still trying to figure out the relationship between the conscious and unconscious mind (do they actually communicate, exchange, recognize... or do they hate each other's guts?). There has to be "some kind" of interaction there... Anyway, my point is that suffering or even increased pain is not necessarily a sign that we are NOT healing. I'm hedging my bets and hoping (praying?) that my irritated bowel syndrome is a sign of healing... that my morning anxiety is a sign of healing... that my brain fog and complete absence of energy is a sign of healing...
And if all this healing doesn't kill me, I should be right as rain soon! :-)
Sending support and hugs.
#89
Recovery Journals / Re: Ran's journey
Last post by Chart - December 09, 2025, 11:01:47 AMQuote from: Ran on December 08, 2025, 11:56:49 AMBut trauma doesn't separate things neatly.
#90
Recovery Journals / Re: Marcine’s journaling forwa...
Last post by Marcine - December 08, 2025, 11:36:10 PMThank you, Chart. I also do believe this is the right path— the one towards truth and light and compassion. Even when it's such strange, unfamiliar terrain that it seems to be the wrong way.
Last night I had a significant migraine and flashback. Today I am steeped in anger and depression. Anger at having had to give up big chunks of myself to survive. Depressed that self-esteem was collateral damage. And, well, that my self was damaged.
I'm realizing I exist in flashback state a lot of the time, more than I knew. This knowledge is helpful and infuriating and depressing.
I imagine my therapist would say that these realizations are a sign of my healing. To which, today, I would reply with a choice expletive.
Last night I had a significant migraine and flashback. Today I am steeped in anger and depression. Anger at having had to give up big chunks of myself to survive. Depressed that self-esteem was collateral damage. And, well, that my self was damaged.
I'm realizing I exist in flashback state a lot of the time, more than I knew. This knowledge is helpful and infuriating and depressing.
I imagine my therapist would say that these realizations are a sign of my healing. To which, today, I would reply with a choice expletive.