Recent posts
#81
Recovery Journals / Re: the next step
Last post by Armee - February 09, 2026, 05:34:59 PM
It's beautiful what you are doing and also its important to put on your own oxygen mask too. Part of that is going to your T today.
I hope this is something you can bring up with her and get some support or guidance on.
#82
Recovery Journals / Re: Marcine’s journaling forwa...
Last post by TheBigBlue - February 09, 2026, 05:28:48 PM
#83
Medication / Re: Multiple medications, long...
Last post by Kizzie - February 09, 2026, 04:45:48 PMSorry to hear you've had negative and lasting experiences with medications Roger. I was addicted to benzos about 2-1/2 years back and fortunately my withdrawal was well managed in hospital and I've not ended up with any ill effects thankfully. I also had to titrate off Prozac when it stopped working and I did that with the help of my GP, again no ill effects. It seems like you have not had the support or information you needed.
Have you talked with your GP about all of this? Good place to start and they can likely refer you to whatever specialist would know best about these symptoms and how to help. (And if your GP is not particularly helpful maybe it's time to look for a new, better informed and helpful GP.)
I'm just spit balling here but I wonder if a pharmacist might have some answers for you? Here in Canada our pharmacists are doing much more than handing out prescriptions these days. It may be they have information about what's going on and can talk with you and your GP. I know mine was quite helpful when I had ovarian cancer and was having difficulty with steroids in my chemo cocktail (explained to me that some people become quite agitated like me and so I was confident pushing for that to be removed from my chemo which the team did), and with nausea (spoke to my cancer team and insurance and got approval to give me the "gold standard" of medication which really did the trick). It might be worth a conversation with a pharmacist.
I hope you're able to get some answers and better yet, some relief from the symptoms you're dealing with
Have you talked with your GP about all of this? Good place to start and they can likely refer you to whatever specialist would know best about these symptoms and how to help. (And if your GP is not particularly helpful maybe it's time to look for a new, better informed and helpful GP.)
I'm just spit balling here but I wonder if a pharmacist might have some answers for you? Here in Canada our pharmacists are doing much more than handing out prescriptions these days. It may be they have information about what's going on and can talk with you and your GP. I know mine was quite helpful when I had ovarian cancer and was having difficulty with steroids in my chemo cocktail (explained to me that some people become quite agitated like me and so I was confident pushing for that to be removed from my chemo which the team did), and with nausea (spoke to my cancer team and insurance and got approval to give me the "gold standard" of medication which really did the trick). It might be worth a conversation with a pharmacist.
I hope you're able to get some answers and better yet, some relief from the symptoms you're dealing with
#84
Recovery Journals / Re: the next step
Last post by Marcine - February 09, 2026, 03:36:43 PMSan,
I'm reaching out, mom to mom, to say that I deeply resonate with what you wrote, particularly "getting her thru high school alive"...
I feel the literal truth in it and very much relate. (Shudder)
I'm glad she can accept your care now.
I hope you remember to take care of yourself too. I wish you a good session today. I see your courage in doing another new thing in life. Bravo
I'm reaching out, mom to mom, to say that I deeply resonate with what you wrote, particularly "getting her thru high school alive"...
I feel the literal truth in it and very much relate. (Shudder)
I'm glad she can accept your care now.
I hope you remember to take care of yourself too. I wish you a good session today. I see your courage in doing another new thing in life. Bravo
#85
Recovery Journals / Re: Marcine’s journaling forwa...
Last post by Marcine - February 09, 2026, 03:20:49 PMThank you for your support and encouragement, friends!
It means so much— you show me that sharing my truth, being true to myself, being myself, being...
Can be safe and connecting... that it's safe to connect with others who are safe and connecting... and who are being true!
Ha! The experience is so new and foreign to me that the words are coming out all funny and wonderfully weird
I'm here to live authentically. Which means knowing my truth. Believing in myself, building safety in my life, taking the next good step, letting courage take charge, putting love into action. And disentangling myself from the barbed lies embedded deep.
Sharing authentically in this journal section allows me to experience connection with others who are choosing to share their process and vulnerabilities.
And together we create this safety and support together. Beneficial synergy.
I live for the win-win situations in life where everyone involved benefits.
So. All these words
At this moment I feel: self-accepting, joy, and a tinge of poignant awareness of how hard and long the path to here has been.
A nod to that... and a thousand mile gaze out to the vast, possible next steps ahead.
With love,
Marcine
It means so much— you show me that sharing my truth, being true to myself, being myself, being...
Can be safe and connecting... that it's safe to connect with others who are safe and connecting... and who are being true!
Ha! The experience is so new and foreign to me that the words are coming out all funny and wonderfully weird
I'm here to live authentically. Which means knowing my truth. Believing in myself, building safety in my life, taking the next good step, letting courage take charge, putting love into action. And disentangling myself from the barbed lies embedded deep.
Sharing authentically in this journal section allows me to experience connection with others who are choosing to share their process and vulnerabilities.
And together we create this safety and support together. Beneficial synergy.
I live for the win-win situations in life where everyone involved benefits.
So. All these words
At this moment I feel: self-accepting, joy, and a tinge of poignant awareness of how hard and long the path to here has been.
A nod to that... and a thousand mile gaze out to the vast, possible next steps ahead.
With love,
Marcine
#86
Recovery Journals / Re: the next step
Last post by sanmagic7 - February 09, 2026, 02:47:52 PMmy D is still sick, coughing, i'm very tired, weary, just want to curl up someplace but i know that'll never happen cuz she needs me to make food, get thera-flu, water, listen to her, watch tv w/ her - just lots of little bits and bobs that help her feel better. i'm here for that, but it wears me down after a while. it's been years of working together on letting me do things for her when she's not well - some of her own childhood trauma shining thru.
************************TW - self-harm mentioned -**********************************
i read about children being behind a 'glass wall', and i do believe that's her. my D1 was always in crisis, whether it was mysterious illnesses like RSDS, strange bouts of seizures, and worse - her self=harm and more, always keeping me on my toes, waiting for 'the' phone call, running here and there w/ her, docs, T's, PT, getting her thru high school alive, and my darling D was always there, watching everything happen as if she was behind a glass wall. no time or energy to help her along day to day, so she came not to expect it, and then feel uncomfortable if she did get it, to the point of pushing me away in later years. finally, she can accept help and care from me, but it's been a long, hard road. however, i'm so glad now.
********************************end TW************************************
and so my life goes. T today, don't know what to talk about - we're so much in beginning stages, i don't really know what she wants to hear, what order. i've spoken randomly about stuff, but there's no cohesion yet. we'll see. still, i'm nervous. this is new all over again for me.
************************TW - self-harm mentioned -**********************************
i read about children being behind a 'glass wall', and i do believe that's her. my D1 was always in crisis, whether it was mysterious illnesses like RSDS, strange bouts of seizures, and worse - her self=harm and more, always keeping me on my toes, waiting for 'the' phone call, running here and there w/ her, docs, T's, PT, getting her thru high school alive, and my darling D was always there, watching everything happen as if she was behind a glass wall. no time or energy to help her along day to day, so she came not to expect it, and then feel uncomfortable if she did get it, to the point of pushing me away in later years. finally, she can accept help and care from me, but it's been a long, hard road. however, i'm so glad now.
********************************end TW************************************
and so my life goes. T today, don't know what to talk about - we're so much in beginning stages, i don't really know what she wants to hear, what order. i've spoken randomly about stuff, but there's no cohesion yet. we'll see. still, i'm nervous. this is new all over again for me.
#87
Therapy / Re: Issues with CPT
Last post by pelicantown - February 09, 2026, 02:26:34 PMThank you all 
I think I'll speak to my therapist this week and see if we can switch our approach.
I think I'll speak to my therapist this week and see if we can switch our approach. #88
Recovery Journals / Re: My journey so far
Last post by Little2Nothing - February 09, 2026, 02:26:34 PMThank you TheBigBlue I appreciate the encouragement.
#89
Friends / Re: Sensitivity to any ups and...
Last post by pelicantown - February 09, 2026, 02:24:02 PM@TheBigBlue - Really good advice! "softening, shrinking, or erasing our authenticity in order not to endanger connection" - I really resonate with that...more than ever nowadays.
@Blueberry - Not in the slightest! I think she often has problems in her own relationship and doesn't verbalize or solve them, so it can bleed into our friendship sometimes. It's possible that because she doesn't feel heard or validated that any sort of "disagreement" is taken extremely personally. Just an assumption though!
@Blueberry - Not in the slightest! I think she often has problems in her own relationship and doesn't verbalize or solve them, so it can bleed into our friendship sometimes. It's possible that because she doesn't feel heard or validated that any sort of "disagreement" is taken extremely personally. Just an assumption though!
#90
Medication / Re: Multiple medications, long...
Last post by Teddy bear - February 09, 2026, 11:15:33 AMThank you, Roger, for sharing, and thank you, TheBigBlue, for an excellent and deep answer.
I would just like to add that I have been on aripiprazole monotherapy for five years already. Previously, I was on a mix of various medications, which my body tolerated even worse.
My dream now is to get off aripiprazole, though I'm not sure whether it's feasible.
I also have some symptoms of Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD), which seem to exacerbate with any stress or retraumatisation.
I am from Russia, and it's difficult here to find a good trauma-informed psychiatrist or psychotherapist.
In my personal experience, I focused my complaints on the physical side effects (to avoid them being confused with my primary symptoms) to advocate for changing the medication, switching to a single drug, and, ideally, discontinuing it entirely.
Also, I was initially diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
Sending hugs
I would just like to add that I have been on aripiprazole monotherapy for five years already. Previously, I was on a mix of various medications, which my body tolerated even worse.
My dream now is to get off aripiprazole, though I'm not sure whether it's feasible.
I also have some symptoms of Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD), which seem to exacerbate with any stress or retraumatisation.
I am from Russia, and it's difficult here to find a good trauma-informed psychiatrist or psychotherapist.
In my personal experience, I focused my complaints on the physical side effects (to avoid them being confused with my primary symptoms) to advocate for changing the medication, switching to a single drug, and, ideally, discontinuing it entirely.
Also, I was initially diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
Sending hugs