Recent posts
#81
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Hello
Last post by NarcKiddo - December 19, 2025, 02:35:43 PMHello, and welcome. I have no experience of DBT but would love to hear how you get on if you choose to try it.
#82
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Hello
Last post by EB - December 19, 2025, 02:14:45 PMGreetings samereflection1001 
Yes! The difference between ptsd and c-ptsd was profound for me-and really helpful. And yes, a club I did not want to belong to but here we are and it's great to have company.
I know of DBT but have not experienced it specifically although my therapist probably uses some of those techniques.
It is evidence based which matters greatly to me. I.e. has this actually helped other people?.
EMDR and Internal Family Systems have helped me greatly.
Therapy is a commitment and the right therapist for you, almost regardless of technique , is key in my experience.
Feeling better, more whole has been possible for me.
And from the depths of my heart, I hope the same for you.
Yes! The difference between ptsd and c-ptsd was profound for me-and really helpful. And yes, a club I did not want to belong to but here we are and it's great to have company.
I know of DBT but have not experienced it specifically although my therapist probably uses some of those techniques.
It is evidence based which matters greatly to me. I.e. has this actually helped other people?.
EMDR and Internal Family Systems have helped me greatly.
Therapy is a commitment and the right therapist for you, almost regardless of technique , is key in my experience.
Feeling better, more whole has been possible for me.
And from the depths of my heart, I hope the same for you.
#83
Recovery Journals / Re: Post-Traumatic Growth Jour...
Last post by NarcKiddo - December 19, 2025, 12:25:45 PMI'm glad you're feeling a bit better, physically at least. And I hope you have decent weather for your bike ride to the shrink. I also hope you are able to allow a little extra time and take it easy. I've also been laid low with some seasonal lurgy and various other things have taken up time so am just now catching up with journals.
#84
Sexual Abuse / Re: Self-abandonment since CSA
Last post by dollyvee - December 19, 2025, 11:56:53 AMQuote from: DD on December 18, 2025, 09:30:08 AMWhat if it isn't selfishness at all? What if doing that is an integral part of being a healthy human being? My mind runs from any hint at selfishness as dangerous due to my past. So I am learning to think that it is not that but the fundamental right of human beings to notice their limitations, boundaries, resources, and needs. And to communicate them in a respectful way to others. As well as then limiting the access of anyone who does not agree to them.
Because to ignore my needs and boundaries, isn't it to ignore my humanity and my value? And anyone repeatedly doing this would then inherently be unsafe to be around if they do not stop and repair? What do you all think?
I think this is an incredibly insightful way to look at it. I do feel like my body (and subconscious) have other ideas at times and that's where I find the problem that when faced with "danger" it will just switch into the fawn or freeze response. I guess at the moment I'm trying to understand what that concept of "danger" is? Like any kind of conflict or power struggle seems to flick the switch as I call it, and I'm trying to unpack that. Even if my brain says one thing, it's like my body does another.
#85
Recovery Journals / Re: Post-Traumatic Growth Jour...
Last post by SenseOrgan - December 19, 2025, 11:41:45 AMChart
A belated thank you for the hug! I somehow missed it, but I appreciate it nonetheless.
sanmagic7
Thank you. It's going a bit differently than I had hoped today, but I'll go see my shrink in a few hours at least.
Physically, I feel quite a bit better. Emotionally, things are starting to look like a benzo withdrawal. The emptiness is almost tangible. This morning started off okay. Then the bleakness started to take over. Existential despair. It's hard work watching my thoughts, rather than hop on that train. Physically, I could visit the garden with a bit of will power. I'm just overcome with a lot of social anxiety around it right now. I'm not going to push myself now. The emotions are in the same department as last time I tapered off the benzo's. A higher dose, and a lot faster then. I'm so glad I accepted my shrink's offer to meet today, when we last spoke. It'll be good to debrief my time in the woods, and it'll be good to be out of the house again. I really hope I can pick up running again next week. It's an important ingredient to stop me from spiraling out.
A belated thank you for the hug! I somehow missed it, but I appreciate it nonetheless.
sanmagic7
Thank you. It's going a bit differently than I had hoped today, but I'll go see my shrink in a few hours at least.
Physically, I feel quite a bit better. Emotionally, things are starting to look like a benzo withdrawal. The emptiness is almost tangible. This morning started off okay. Then the bleakness started to take over. Existential despair. It's hard work watching my thoughts, rather than hop on that train. Physically, I could visit the garden with a bit of will power. I'm just overcome with a lot of social anxiety around it right now. I'm not going to push myself now. The emotions are in the same department as last time I tapered off the benzo's. A higher dose, and a lot faster then. I'm so glad I accepted my shrink's offer to meet today, when we last spoke. It'll be good to debrief my time in the woods, and it'll be good to be out of the house again. I really hope I can pick up running again next week. It's an important ingredient to stop me from spiraling out.
#86
Recovery Journals / Re: The tipping point…
Last post by dollyvee - December 19, 2025, 10:53:11 AMWishing you all the best with your new journal 
I am curious...who is shaming you? And who is hating?
Fear is an interesting concept that I have been thinking about recently too.
I hope you uncover all the things you are dealing with and give rise to that more integrated sense of self
I am curious...who is shaming you? And who is hating?
Fear is an interesting concept that I have been thinking about recently too.
I hope you uncover all the things you are dealing with and give rise to that more integrated sense of self
#87
Recovery Journals / Re: The tipping point…
Last post by Chart - December 19, 2025, 09:40:27 AMThank you Narc, SO, San and Thebigblue!
It is absolutely insane the effect of coffee on my mood and mental state. Mornings are very hard for me. I think my biological father would often come home at sunrise. He was definitely intoxicated with alcohol and probably other stuff to boot. This is when I would hear the shouting and screaming downstairs. Wouldn't be the only time of day I'd hear these things, but I'm certain that mornings were particularly brutal. So i believe I developed a chemical propensity for somnia. I can sleep through anything. I once fell out of the top bunk (we'd switched bunks with my sister cause she had a broken leg) during the night. When I awoke in the morning I was on the floor and later the pain in my shoulder was shown to be a broken collarbone. I never woke up from the fall and remember nothing from the night.
So my "sleep issue" is actually the reverse of a lot of people. I don't suffer from a lack of quantity or quality of sleep, I actually am severely sleep addicted and experience terrible fearful mornings when I'm obliged to wake up and get with the day. The anxiety upon waking is strongly linked to my horizontal position. Once I stand up the anxiety symptoms descend significantly.
But during periods of strong EFs, I've noticed that coffee has a profound effect on the intensity of the EF reducing the Fear and discomfort dramatically. So, for pretty much my whole life I've been a coffee junkie.
To be continued...
It is absolutely insane the effect of coffee on my mood and mental state. Mornings are very hard for me. I think my biological father would often come home at sunrise. He was definitely intoxicated with alcohol and probably other stuff to boot. This is when I would hear the shouting and screaming downstairs. Wouldn't be the only time of day I'd hear these things, but I'm certain that mornings were particularly brutal. So i believe I developed a chemical propensity for somnia. I can sleep through anything. I once fell out of the top bunk (we'd switched bunks with my sister cause she had a broken leg) during the night. When I awoke in the morning I was on the floor and later the pain in my shoulder was shown to be a broken collarbone. I never woke up from the fall and remember nothing from the night.
So my "sleep issue" is actually the reverse of a lot of people. I don't suffer from a lack of quantity or quality of sleep, I actually am severely sleep addicted and experience terrible fearful mornings when I'm obliged to wake up and get with the day. The anxiety upon waking is strongly linked to my horizontal position. Once I stand up the anxiety symptoms descend significantly.
But during periods of strong EFs, I've noticed that coffee has a profound effect on the intensity of the EF reducing the Fear and discomfort dramatically. So, for pretty much my whole life I've been a coffee junkie.
To be continued...
#88
Other / Re: Our Healing Porch Part 8
Last post by Chart - December 18, 2025, 07:28:41 PMMy daughter almost always does chocolate chip cookies. She doesn't like nuts herself, but she takes requests and happily does half the batch with nuts for those who like...
#89
Therapy / Stephen Porges’ Safe and Sound...
Last post by SenseOrgan - December 18, 2025, 06:34:09 PMAnyone here who has experience with Stephen Porges' Safe and Sound Protocol?
The Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP), developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, is a non-invasive application of Polyvagal Theory designed to reduce stress and auditory sensitivity while enhancing social engagement and resilience.
The SSP is commonly used by mental health professionals, therapists, and sensory integration practitioners as an adjunct therapy to help their patients regulate their nervous system, process external cues and signals more effectively, and attain a grounded state in which they feel safe and calm.
Once patients are able to regulate, they respond more effectively to life's challenges, can access higher learning and cognition more easily, build positive social relationships, and ultimately can be more available for other therapies.
Source + more info: https://integratedlistening.com/polyvagal-theory/porges/
The Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP), developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, is a non-invasive application of Polyvagal Theory designed to reduce stress and auditory sensitivity while enhancing social engagement and resilience.
The SSP is commonly used by mental health professionals, therapists, and sensory integration practitioners as an adjunct therapy to help their patients regulate their nervous system, process external cues and signals more effectively, and attain a grounded state in which they feel safe and calm.
Once patients are able to regulate, they respond more effectively to life's challenges, can access higher learning and cognition more easily, build positive social relationships, and ultimately can be more available for other therapies.
Source + more info: https://integratedlistening.com/polyvagal-theory/porges/
#90
RE - Re-experiencing Trauma / Re: Re-traumatization activate...
Last post by Chart - December 18, 2025, 03:47:24 PMWhat's the expression... "the road to Hades is paved and the with the best intentions..."
For me intentions matter, but if there's not recognition that behavior is hurtful and toxic then whatever the "intention", what ultimately counts is the result.
Another observation: a lot of people suffer from trauma, and DON'T hurt other people. Trauma can be an explanation, but as an excuse for damaging behavior it doesn't go very far.
Ultimately, we are all responsible for our behavior, regardless the "feelings" that drove us there.
(That was all VERY hard for me to sort out in my head... I hope I didn't mess that up...)
For me intentions matter, but if there's not recognition that behavior is hurtful and toxic then whatever the "intention", what ultimately counts is the result.
Another observation: a lot of people suffer from trauma, and DON'T hurt other people. Trauma can be an explanation, but as an excuse for damaging behavior it doesn't go very far.
Ultimately, we are all responsible for our behavior, regardless the "feelings" that drove us there.
(That was all VERY hard for me to sort out in my head... I hope I didn't mess that up...)