Dalloway´s Recovery Journal

[Hope67]

Hi Dalloway,
Thanks for sharing your profound experience, it sounded so lovely. 
 

[dollyvee]

Hi Dalloway,

I just wanted to send support for these profound realizations that you're having 

dolly

[Dalloway]

Thank you everyone for taking the time to write something nice to me and for validating my experience.
I find it very challenging these days to navigate between pleasant and unpleasant emotions. It´s like a roller coaster ride with my eyes covered, so I can´t see what´s coming next - the up or the down. Lately I´ve been involved in different activities with different groups of people that filled me with a lot of energy. For the first time in my life I experienced real human connections and presence in the company of other people. It gave me the impression that I truly exist, that I´m not just an abstract something without borders and contours. This experience was out of this world and left me wanting for more. The more real I start to feel, the more I need to be connected to the reality. I realized that I´ve always had this need, I was born as an expectation for it. So when I started to experience it, it was as if a valve had been opened and now I yearn for more. I know that there´s huge amount of love that I´m capable of giving and receiving and that it´s always been my natural need.

[NarcKiddo]

I am so happy that you experienced real human connection. 

[Marcine]

Feeling capable of giving love and feeling deserving of receiving love... that's the greatest natural humanity... I'm so happy for you that you are directly experiencing connection.
Thank you for sharing this, Dalloway.

[Hope67]

Lately I´ve been involved in different activities with different groups of people that filled me with a lot of energy. For the first time in my life I experienced real human connections and presence in the company of other people. It gave me the impression that I truly exist, that I´m not just an abstract something without borders and contours. This experience was out of this world and left me wanting for more. The more real I start to feel, the more I need to be connected to the reality. I realized that I´ve always had this need, I was born as an expectation for it. So when I started to experience it, it was as if a valve had been opened and now I yearn for more. I know that there´s huge amount of love that I´m capable of giving and receiving and that it´s always been my natural need.

This is lovely - I am also happy to hear you've experienced real human connection 

[Papa Coco]

In a book I'm reading now, the author says that it isn't the abuse/neglect that caused the long-lasing trauma, but the fact that we had to deal with it alone.

I am now of the belief that human connection is the one thing that we all need, and our lack of it is the biggest reason we suffer.

I'm really happy to read that you had such a profound healing through feeling connected with others.

[SenseOrgan]

... Today I had a very profound experience. It was something out of the blue, but it made me very joyous. As if the universe knew that I needed something to keep going. I was lying on the bed, just woke up from a nap, half-asleep, when suddenly my heart filled with immense love. I felt it to my core and it was radiating from inside my body. I started to think of all the people in the world, all the lives on Earth, how far they might be from me in the physical world, and yet how close they are to me, because we are connected. I realized that our lives our interconnected, no matter who we are or what we do. At that moment, the whole world could fit in my heart. And everything I went through and all the things I´m experiencing now and will be in the future, is a part of me, and not just me, but the wider universe. I´m not an island, I´m not alone, I´m part of something lot bigger than my mind can comprehend. It goes through space and time, it started before me and will be here long after I´m gone. I´m not religious, but at that very moment I felt something higher and thought to myself: if there´s some kind of God, it´s nothing but love. I felt so close to nature, I felt that it accepted me, that I could return and be united with it if I wanted to. And the best thing about this experience was that all the love I felt, was radiating from me, from my chest, my whole body, in fact. And that´s when I realized that it´s been inside me all the time, all the love I have in me, it never went away, it was there all along, waiting. And that means that I was never really broken, there is a place inside me that was whole the whole time. That part was never dead and I´m not dead either. I am capable of love, giving and receiving it.

Thank you so much for sharing this Dalloway. I'm so happy for you that you had this experience. It brought tears to my eyes reading it. It resonates deeply with me.

Much love.