Not Alone: 2021

Blueberry · November 12, 2021, 07:57:56 PM

Not Alone, it's great you managed to find somebody at work you felt comfortable talking to who then helped you with the situation. Good job!

I'm so glad your cat is nurturing you and that you found support here on OOTS too.

sanmagic7 · November 13, 2021, 01:21:59 PM

so glad you got help with your situation, notalone, and that everything ended up being taken care of for you, including the appt. well done!

by the by, losing things and having that mess up something which was important to me is very stressful to me as well. i could totally relate to what you went thru.

working full time now is quite a big change. please, be easy with yourself, ok? love and hugs

Not Alone · November 13, 2021, 04:37:39 PM

Thank you, Blueberry and San.

Not Alone · November 17, 2021, 01:41:16 AM

Another Little came to session today. (By that I mean it wasn't the 6-10 year old who has been coming recently.) Therapist gave a suggestion on how to comfort her. I am doing that now. Even though sharing the method of comfort would not reveal much of anything, it doesn't feel safe to say. Somehow it feels like the bad people (who in all likelihood are long dead) or some other bad person, would use the information to harm her. I need to stop writing now.

Armee · November 17, 2021, 01:53:17 AM

Hi. Feeling safe is tough.

Snowdrop · November 17, 2021, 06:10:30 AM

I'm glad you have a way of comforting her, Not Alone. She is precious.

Not Alone · November 18, 2021, 04:20:25 AM

Thank you Armee & Snowdrop.

I'm home after a 13 hour day.

Last night was tough. After I posted here, I started to watch a penguin documentary. I figured it was safe. I feel asleep. Then I was listening to something on YouTube. I fell asleep again. I just couldn't stay awake. I gave up and went to bed. I woke up throughout the night, but then fell back asleep. I probably got around 10 hours of sleep.

This morning I had to do some preparations that I had planned on doing last night. Everything seemed difficult and little bumps in the morning felt like huge hills. I managed to get to work on time. The rest of the day was okay, although I had two things after work, so it was a long day.

I need hugs.

Armee · November 18, 2021, 04:29:35 AM

I can give lots of hugs.

That's a long day. Treat yourself kindly today and tomorrow.

((((((((((((((((Not Alone))))))))))))))))))

Snowdrop · November 18, 2021, 07:17:58 AM

A 13 hour day is very long. I hope you can be gentle with yourself.

sanmagic7 · November 18, 2021, 03:06:57 PM

not a problem. hugs it is.

i echo the others - gentle and kind and caring to you, please. also sending love and an extra hug for good measure

Larry · November 18, 2021, 06:32:02 PM

Not Alone · November 18, 2021, 11:50:55 PM

I felt every one of those hugs and it put a smile on my face. Thank you everyone.

Not Alone · November 23, 2021, 02:24:51 AM

I just wrote things and pressed some button and it all disappeared.

I might be in a triggered state (EF), or at least partly. It feels like there are different situations swimming around in my head.

I want to feel safe. I'm not safe. I guess I am safe, but I don't feel safe. I think that some of the Littles are nearby too. I just need to curl up on the floor with a blanket. Lock the door so H doesn't come in.

Armee · November 23, 2021, 05:21:24 AM

Take your time and be alone if that is what you need. It does sound like you are in a flashback. Take care of you and Littles.

Not Alone · November 23, 2021, 03:17:37 PM

Thank you, Armee. I did lay on the floor for awhile then on the bed and listened to music.

Still not doing well. Feel deep sadness. And guilt. Not up to all I need to do today including a meeting. I do have therapy later. Glad for that, but it feels discouraging too. One hour a week isn't enough.