C-PTSD a full time job

[dollyvee]

I never thought that My Dad's inability to protect himself, would have an effect on me.

There's a book I read recently that was recommended by another member on the forum called, Mother Hunger. In it, the author describes our need for protection as one of the core elements that babies need from their caregiver in addition to nurturance and guidance. Without it, one can feel I guess a sense of existential dread/anxiety (I am partially paraphrasing here), but protection is vital for one to grow up with secure attachment and a strong sense of self. So, perhaps even though your dad did try to protect you, his own ability to protect himself called back that existential dread (how I define it). I have often felt too, unprotected in the world, and have often looked to other people to protect me as an adult. Though I think this is mostly subconscious until I started examining it, and finding my own adult consciousness/self.

I'm not a doctor, but because of my own research into my own health issues, I have found that there can be a number of reasons why one wakes in the middle of the night that is not exclusively tied to trauma --high cortisol (as a result of inflammation), mold in the home can distrupt sleep, as well as conditions related to high histamine such as MCAS. So, for me, I've found that when I'm still experiencing "mental/emotional issues" and I have been actively working on those (ie in therapy), I have looked to and started to address physical issues, which have been helpful in resolving some sleep disturbances.

Sending you support and thank you for sharing your experiences 
dolly

[Alexandra]

Hello Dollyvee; I did not realize ,how frightening  it was for me to watch my so-called mother abuse my father ,thanks for the tip,,while my Dad did love me ,he was weak, I learned that love is not strong, it is like a hot house plant very lovely, provided you do not take it out into the real world when I was 4 ,my so-called mother throw my Dad out , which was the start of my time in the POW camp, my so-called mother frightened everyone, I saw for myself, that people are not strong , they are easily intimidated, one example, my so-called mother used to steal from stores, the store manger would ask me, a child ,to talk to my mother ,to get her to change her behavior.