Discovery Journal

[Not Alone]

I love my inner Angry Teen. I call on her when I feel fearful, and let her take the driver's seat. "Forget about what other people think!" she says to me. "Do what you want!" Her forthright and excited approach to the world is exactly what I need right now.

I call her my Angry Teen, but she's not so much angry as throwing off the constraints she's felt, and is making her way out into the world around her, as is fitting, healthy, and normal for any teen.

Yeah for her and her strength and courage. 

[Deep Blue]

I too am impressed with you and your idea to lean on your inner angry teen.

I'm quite certain I don't have one of those.  I don't think it developed because that's when most of my trauma was.  Maybe I need to work on making one???

You are simply the best 

[Three Roses]

Thanks, Tee, notalone, and Deep Blue! 

I'm quite certain I don't have one of those.  I don't think it developed because that's when most of my trauma was.  Maybe I need to work on making one???

Hey, that's a great idea! Not to create her necessarily but to ask her if she's there - I think I'll look at that myself for some other Inners who may be hanging out but shy.

Thanks, San, for the reminder about chakras which I'd forgotten.

For anyone who's interested, here's a link to the test.
https://www.eclecticenergies.com/chakras/chakratest

After the test, it will show results - low, balanced or "open", and high. I love the concept of balance in all things! Then there's another link to show how to balance them, and other links with more helpful info.

Every time I take this test my results are different, which makes sense. Today my "root" Chakra showed up needing the most attention. Here's what the website has to say about the root chakra:

Techniques to open the Root Chakra
Using the body and becoming aware of it
The Root chakra, being the first chakra, is the most physical one. This means that any activity that makes one more aware of the body, will strengthen this chakra.

This particularly goes for physical activity. One can do sports, martial arts, walking, yoga, Taichi, it all helps. But also house-cleaning, manual dishwashing and car-cleaning. It is important not to do things that make one insensitive to pain and not to overdo it. Exhaustion is just not good.

Zen meditation is an activity that seems to be the contrary of physical, but actually is. This can make one very aware of the body.

So I'm giving myself some homework. For too long I've just been inactive and sluggish, hanging out in my head too much. Today I purpose to slowly start being more active without overdoing it and hurting myself! Yay, me. 

[Three Roses]

A small setback. Not feelin' the desire for self care. Feeling withdrawn, dunno why. So I'm going to sit with my feelings, maybe I'll figure out what is going on but if I don't tomorrow is another day. We did have company from out of town for a couple days, so maybe I'm just tired. 

[sanmagic7]

yay, you, is right  even if you're not feeling it today.  company usually drains me, especially if for more than a day.  hope you give yourself a break - that's self-care, too.  love you!   

[Tee]

Hugs there with you, want to with draw from everything at the moment.

[woodsgnome]

We tend to get to a certain point that seems like forward motion, and it feels good. Soon, of course, we want more. More is usually on the way, indicated by the forward motion we're so eager to continue.

The reality seems to suggest it doesn't always work that way (although sometimes it does; ah life). If we never learned self-care from anyone else, it's doubly difficult to just up and do so. That's only another form of the taunt "just get over it".

Your journal is bursting with examples of self-care finding a home. Like any home, it might take some tweaking and adjustments. Meanwhile, you can rest knowing that even at times when it doesn't feel like it, there are so many hard points already passed. They still lurk, want to come back, and yet all signs point to the path continuing for getting out of that box and keeping the lid off too (but nearby just in case). And don't worry about that, too; we'll keep it in safekeeping, because you are sooooooooooo worth it, so wonderful, so with it, and just deserving 

[Deep Blue]

I feel like that too sometimes 3R.  There are many forms of self care, as you know. Posting is another form of self care 

Sometimes a smell memory can help me out of it too.  Light a candle or bake something. I'm a big fan of baking.

Today I'm making pinacolada cookies.  They are in the oven now.  Can you picture us sitting having some tea and enjoying them together? 

[Hope67]

Hi Three Roses
Sending you a compassionate hug, if that's ok.     I hope you can get some rest, if that feels best for you - I know that I feel fatigued whenever there are people around, and often a sense of relief when they have gone.  But also the transition can bring its own stresses, so whatever you need - I hope you will receive that, and I wish you the best for today.
Hope 

[Three Roses]

Thanks for each of your comments, I'd love to address each of them individually but just can't atm. Taking more time to give myself some self-care. See you all soon.

[Tee]

 

[Hope67]

Hi Three Roses,
We'll be here - and in the meantime, thinking of you and sending you a warm hug    I hope that's ok.  I like your new icon photo - just wanted to comment on that too.  Very cool. 
Hope 

[Three Roses]

San, Tee, Woodsgnome, Deep Blue, and Hope - 

I just don't have it in me to answer each individually - thanks to each of you. Your support means more than I can say.

I've just overdone it, over socialized, too much conversation. I'll try to gradually ease back in when I've rested. Non-stop company/social obligations for a solid week, every day. Blah. 😩 Now I feel like 💩. I'll get over it tho, I always do.

[sanmagic7]

take your time, sweetie.  i hear you on the socializing stuff - that can exhaust me almost easier than anything else, and i used to be a full-blown social butterfly!  no more - wears me out now.  so, i get it.  rest, relax, whatever it takes for you to recharge.  love and hugs to you   

[Tee]

  feel better