Deep Blue’s searching for balance journal

Sceal · January 06, 2019, 07:50:47 PM

Yay Tattooo!

Hope it'll be successfull!

Jdog · January 06, 2019, 07:56:10 PM

Wishing you luck and strength, along with a waning of the cold virus!

Hope67 · January 07, 2019, 08:24:46 PM

Dear Deep Blue,
I hope that your new Tatoo is really nice - and that you like it. I also hope you recover soon from your cold. Sorry you have got that, and I hope it goes away very soon, so you can feel much better.
Hope

Deep Blue · January 07, 2019, 10:29:18 PM

San,
You were right. Even though you don't do much but sit during a tattoo it seems to have wiped out my energy. I took the day off work to heal. I got very sick last night but taking the day off seems to be the medicine I needed.

Jdog,
I'm at the doc right now. I wonder if I have an upper respiratory infection. To be continued...

Sceal,
I ended up getting a Phoenix feather. It is lovely shades of...... BLUE... ha ha

it covers some of my SH scars nicely

Hope,
Thanks for the well wishes sweetie. I'm happy with the ink but still pretty drained. Sending u hugs just cuz

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I'm embarrassed I got a tattoo yesterday while I was feeling so sick. I didn't tell my husband because I'm embarrassed that I got one and then ended up crashing for the day. I'm planning on telling him tomorrow. My plan is to tell him I got one after work. Then he will know I got one, and it will be better than how I felt yesterday.

Hopefully good news from the doc. Love you all for your compassion, understand and support

Deep Blue · January 09, 2019, 12:27:07 AM

Still feeling a bit sick today bit sick but I'm ok.

I told my husband I got a tattoo. I told him I got it today after work. He's none the wiser.

Now how do I tell my parents? They think tattoos are trashy. I really need this for my recovery though. I want to look down at my arm and be happy with what I see. I don't want to be ashamed of all the marks that are there and now I don't have to be. Yes they are physical scars but also emotional you know?

Wattlebird · January 09, 2019, 04:13:48 AM

Good for you deep blue

Jdog · January 09, 2019, 04:31:32 AM

Stay strong and do what you need to do to support your healing, sweetie. Sending you love and strength.

Sceal · January 09, 2019, 08:16:15 AM

You don't have to tell your parents, they will eventually see it. And they will comment, but try to shrug the comments away. And tell them that it's symbolic and meaningful to you. Mine didn't like it when I got mine. But it's too late afterwards, it's there. They'll just have to deal with it. They will be the ones with the problem, not you

Hope67 · January 12, 2019, 01:31:11 PM

Hi Deep Blue,
No pressure to tell your parents about your tattoo - you are an adult and you made your choice to have a tattoo that is meaningful to you. I admire you for doing that. I really do. I hope you feel better soon.

Hope

Deep Blue · January 13, 2019, 01:28:32 AM

Won a big sports competition today. It was tough, and I coughed a lot but edged out the other girl.

My mom was really happy cuz I brought the win home for the team.

I managed to hide the tattoo. Thanks for the support everyone. Yeah I'll tell her when I'm ready.

It looks lovely and it's so healing to have it. I have not been able to walk around without hiding my scars for 20 years. I feel free

Jdog · January 13, 2019, 02:52:14 AM

Congrats on the big win, and I am glad your tattoo makes you feel free!!

sj · January 13, 2019, 08:00:20 AM

congratulations on the sports win

but definitely congratulations on the tattoo and feeling free - that sounds wonderfully powerful .... and it sounds like it is beautiful

Wattlebird · January 13, 2019, 10:55:08 AM

Well done on the win, aren't you sick??
The freedom must feel wonderful, I'm glad you got it. We discussed tattoos with my s when he suffered burn scars the length of his arm and hand, but he no longer worries about it, I can see yours would hold shame though (not that I think they should but realistically that's a typical response)

freedom

Deep Blue · January 13, 2019, 09:08:23 PM

Wattlebird,
Ha ha yes I'm still a bit sick. I conserved every ounce of energy I had and channeled the crowds' cheers to bring home the win. Luckily I won on my experience and not my physical prowess. Ha ha! Those 22 year olds make me feel old! Ha ha

sj,
Thanks so much for popping in

it is beautiful and yes the freeing part is huge to me.

Jdog,
Thanks for the support. I'm happy with my new ink. Some of my friends have seen in it now and NONE of them can see the scars that were there!!!! Yea!!

Deep Blue · January 16, 2019, 10:08:40 PM

I'm having a heck of a time trying to kick this illness! My throat is still sore. I went to the doc again yesterday and had them check for strep again. They said it's viral so they won't give me antibiotics. I can't swallow! It feels like there is a sharp stabbing pain in the back of my throat. She told me to take decongestants for it. Grrrrr

Not being able to have a good night's sleep due to throat pain is making me move slow this week too. Not only have I had some nightmares but when I wake up from them... I'm in pain and can't sleep!!!

I'm not as active here when I'm sick. I'm a bit foggy and afraid to say the wrong thing to someone. So yeah... that's where I'm at...