Final? communication

[StartingHealing]

Hello B.

You piece of absolute filth. If you died I don't even know if the scavengers would eat you. I'm clear. Clear of you. Clear of all your bull-sh_t. You know, I moved to a place that you don't know. No one of your flying monkeys know. I've slept the best I've done in years. Away from you. From what scant intel that has been given to me by generally trustworthy 3rd parties, is your going farther and farther down the path to full on insanity.  And knowing how jealous you were of me, I'm sure that is eating a hole right through you.  Not knowing what I'm doing, if I'm still employed at the same place, driving the same cars, even maybe having fun, the real kind where it's not scripted and there isn't any expectations on how things are supposed to go.

My joy in life has come back. I can feel it. It's small at the moment but burning brighter every day. My sense of self is coming back as well. And you? 

You chose the path your on. I fought like * for many years to keep you from f-ing yourself up.  And look at you now. Lying to whoever whenever, playing the "poor victim" meanwhile the people you have surrounded yourself with have bled you dry financially.  You chose it all. You have burned out any sympathy or kind feeling I ever had towards you. 

You see, I don't hate you.  I am indifferent towards you. You F-ed around and found out and now your thrashing around trying to find a way to "fix" the issue but that's the thing. You keep choosing the same thing. Your worse than a junkie. At least with a junkie once they hit the bottom, they change their ways.  You, you still act like there isn't a bottom, or that your to good, nothing can ever help me because I'm a unique individual, I remember when you said that.

Chuckle.  Well, I need to eat and do some stuff.  I know you will never read this. Because it's not your nature. 

You know, I'm expecting to hear from 3rd or 4th sources that you have passed from this mortal coil. In a few years time.  Sad to say but honestly that will be the only thing that will ever give you peace in this realm. The sweet embrace of death.

[StartingHealing]

May 8, 2025

My my my. Been thinking that I needed to do another letter.  Certain things from certain people ping across my awareness reminding me that you are still in this realm.  The off comment from the tax person that still follows you on a social media platform, the snippet of conversation I overhead by your son and his uncle. I mean, how bad does a mother have to be to have a adult child not want to have a single thing to do with you?   

As I look back at things,  you know, in your self aggrandizement, I am pretty certain that you never once fathomed just how much you depended on me to keep you straight.  Even now, with all your posturing about how strong and independent, you still are living off my income.  Alimony is in many ways very insulting.

I know you'll never read this and that's a good thing because if you did, you would spiral even further into madness.  Unfortunate that asylums aren't around anymore because in many ways, you are not only a threat to others, you are also a threat to yourself.  Even though you'll never believe that let alone see it.

There are still times that old things pop up from the memory pool and the associated emotions come along with that bubble,  but you know what?  The emotions are weaker and weaker as time moves along.  I'm getting to being 100% indifferent. 

there are times though.  Times where certain actions could be taken by me to weaponize various bureaucratic aspects of this modern society and have them pointed at you.  Then I remind myself that I don't want the karma from those actions.  Because you have done oh so much to screw yourself over already.  And that's with the small amount that I am aware of.  SMH  Getting a lien on a paid off vehicle that at the time was worth 2x on the open market than you claimed, having asset recovery companies chasing you down, pretty sure you failed with paying the credit card you got. 

The others in the mess, the judge, the law-dogs, I have held off on pointing various bureaucratic aspects at them for the same reason of not wanting the karma.  even tho IMO all three need a comeuppance in the most desperate way.

Been a while since I've had feelings of .. I want to be clear.  Totally clear.  If your so "all that" and the kitchen sink, go make your own $$ like you always claimed you could do.  Fall off my radar completely. Don't much care how.  Just fall off my radar. 

Not to be mean, but if there is an opportunity for me to go totally incognito from you and your offspring, you bet I'm going to be doing it!  chuckle 

I've learned that I don't owe you anything at all.  I don't owe your offspring anything either.  I sure as hades don't owe any surviving member of your so called family anything either.  I've come to realize that my scope of action is far far larger than what I have been thinking.  I'll stay firmly within the bounds of the law have no doubt. 

I really am looking forward to the day where all you will be to me is someone that I once thought I knew. 

[StartingHealing]

October 2025

I realized that I'm still carrying a lot of sh-_ from you.  GD you beat the living F out of me you know?  I'm angry.  Not the type that would lead me into doing something stupid, which I'm sure you would find amusing, the type of anger that keeps fueling my vow to myself "never again".  I'll be sans human companionship before I ever will get into another relationship like that.   

You are completely and totally f-ed up.  For a time I did have some small feelings of compassion towards you, I mean the personality disorder and then the mental illness that was brought out in you by your constant use of MMJ.  I thought that it wasn't quite fair in the big scheme of things and then I remembered all the people that you attempted to destroy while rolling over and allowing yourself to be used like cheap prostitute by your so called "friends" meanwhile living off of other peoples wages complements of the political structure. 

I'm not a vengeful person by nature.  And yet, there are times that my thoughts go down that path a ways. I could so utterly jack you up .. Not physical that would be so last century.  Of course the universe has brought me news of your fall so that I forestall taking action that I know I will regret.  It's weird.  What a mixed bag of emotions when I heard that your replacement for me bounced, that your trying to get into section 8 housing and that you completely screwed the pooch when it came to your finances. I don't feel any compassion or empathy or sympathy at all for you.  I guess that means I'm getting better, that I'm healing up slowly from the damage.  At the same time, the feeling of "da-n that's kind of light for what happened" also exists. 

I don't feel "bad" in being cast as the villain in your story.  I realized some time ago that your "stories" was all BS anyway that had absolutely 0 to do with anything at all.  What's the quote?  Oh yeah, truth is always stranger than fiction because fiction has to make sense.  Your story?  0 sense in any manner, shape, or form.  So the "story" about your mother and how sh--ty of a mother she was, the "story" about SA that of course nobody believed, the "story" of your first love, this "story" that "story" that always was different. What complete and utter BS.  I'll grant you that yes there was something "wrong" with your mother.  Not even close to where you are though.  I'll even grant you that your father was one stoic SOB and didn't show his emotions much.  And?  Really? this is the basis you use to treat others as replaceable actors in whatever delusional movie your running in your head and abusing them?  For what you do to others, is without a doubt abuse.

FFS.  The amount of chaos, pain, suffering, mental / emotional / spiritual damage, you have inflicted not only on me, but anyone that even thought about being close to you in any way.. I'm still boggled by it.  I really am.  I don't know how to reconcile the good that you did with teaching children to swim and then the rest of it.  I admit that your not completely evil, just really da-- close to it. Then again, I also wonder about those children and how I pray that your crazy didn't do anything to them. 


Do I { hate } you?  No.  For the life of me I don't.  Perhaps it would be easier if I did. 

I know that you will never read this.  Even if you did, you don't have enough self awareness to see it. 

I'll keep on keeping on with my new path.  The future that is possible for me, oh mercy I'm excited to see it! 

Perhaps, I'll actually have a life that is worth living.