Not Alone: 2022

[sanmagic7]

i love having 'helpers' come in and take care of things we or our littles just can't do.  those kinds of images have helped me a lot to make progress.

rest as much as you need, ok?  you deserve it, you've earned it.  love and hugs

[Not Alone]

Thank you, San. 

[Blueberry]

It's more than ok to be resting a lot. That sounds really important to take that bad place away. 

Especially since you said that what happened in T was a very big deal, notalone. Since that's the case you need a lot of rest, ime. I've done a lot of work with imaginary helpers who come and do things and it's exhausting.

[Not Alone]

Thank you Blueberry. The affirmation helps. 

[Not Alone]

I started writing more details, but then it didn't feel safe. I will just say that many of the Littles are upset. I had a hot cup of coffee with a lot of cream. That helped some. There is an internal tug-of-war about writing, so I'll stop for now.

[Armee]

Hi. Sending wishes for comfort and rest and safe feelings.

[Not Alone]

Thank you, Armee.

I'm feeling better. I had to work so adult me has been very up-front. It was a good day at work and that helps. Only a 35 minutes at home then I have 2 non-work related meetings. Today is my 13 hour day. Usually I feel exhausted by this time, but I feel good right now. I'm thankful.

[rainydiary]

Not Alone, I am grateful that you are feeling good today.  It takes a lot to feel everything especially the good. 

[sanmagic7]

glad for you that you stopped when it felt best to do so.  way to listen to yourself, notalone.     sending love and hugs

[Not Alone]

Thank you Rainy Diary & San.


Many Littles have lots of thoughts and feelings now. I also had a realization about something. I was able to verbalize it to a very close friend and then write it in my journal. Right now, I can't grab hold of it. Glad I wrote it down. Feel overwhelmed.

[CactusFlower]

Good job on being able to communicate your realization to yourself and someone else. Sometimes, I think writing things down helps me by letting my brain know "ok, this is recorded somewhere, I can let go of it a little." I hope being able to tell a friend helped. 

[Armee]

That's really really good you could verbalize your realization to a good friend. Take your time, get some rest, there's a lot going on internally and 3xtwrnally for you right now.

[Not Alone]

Thank you Cactus Flower and Armee.


When I got home today, my husband confronted me about something. He pointed his finger at me and said, "I thought you were a little rude . . . " I understand why he was upset. It was unusual and good for him to tell me. He didn't really tell me what he felt, he accused and judged. Anyway, it left me feeling unsafe. Curled up on my bed with my stuffed animal and fell asleep.

I told him that I apologized but nothing further was said. I didn't feel safe enough to say more. He doesn't know how to continue talking about things to conclusion.

Why is this so distressing to me?

[Armee]

 

I'd be distressed too. You said that he pointed his finger, judged, and accused. Those things are very threatening and uncomfortable. And it just generally feels scary for someone to be upset at me no matter what the situation.

You've been really strong with all these changes and triggers Not Alone.

[rainydiary]

Not Alone, the interaction with your H sounds like a lot.  I hope you have found ways to continue to show yourself care.