Learning to heal, Larry's journey

[rainydiary]

Thinking of you Larry as you carry the heavy thoughts and feelings. 

[Armee]

Way to go Larry resisting that urge to cover up all these difficult feels with just 1 drink. That's true strength.

It does suck, these feelings. There's a way out of them, but it does take time. Your T appointment must be coming up soon. It'll be a relief to have a guide through this. You won't have to figure it out alone. 

[Larry]

thank you rainy and armee,  T day is april 5th. 

[Papa Coco]

I'm proud of you Larry,

I quit drinking 9 years ago now. Quitting doesn't solve our problems but it empowers us to begin solving them. Continuing to drink only keeps the problems growing. I'm glad you have only 6 more days for your T appointment. My T was a big help while I was putting my life back together after hiding from my problems in booze for so long.

One thing that has helped me remain sober over the past 9 years is knowing that the only drink I can say no to is the first one. Once I taste it, I can't stop.  Also, I learned through my AA meetings and rehab that, even if I go 20 years sober, if I taste it in 20 years, I won't start my problem over at the beginning, I'll immediately begin right where I left off. Our addiction has a memory. It doesn't restart at social drinking. It restarts at serious and progresses as if we'd never quit. Those two facts have kept me from ever believing I can have "just one" drink ever again. I drank my life-limit and I can never touch it ever again.

I'm pulling for you sir!!!! If I can do this, you can do this.

[Larry]

thank you papa,  i really appreciate everyone here.   I had a few days of depression,  but i feel better this morning.

[Larry]

no work today !   might go for a motorcycle ride.   49 days without drinking.   My wife drank a lot last night and was so mean.   she apologized this morning and said she would stop drinking,   i hope she does.   april 5th is T day.   i'm trying not to think about it too much.   
I feel good this morning,  just want to try to keep it that way. 

[Papa Coco]

Larry

49 days! AWESOME!  And to do it while your wife is still drinking makes it even a bigger accomplishment. I hope the motorcycle ride is a go and helps clear your mind. Congratulations on you taking care of you!

As you know I used AA to help support me as I went through the first two years of sobriety. I can't even count the number of times people started their sharing with a big thank you to the other members for helping them stay sober. Sobriety is a gift we give to ourselves that just can't be measured because it's such a beautiful gift. Even having to deal with life's struggles sober ends up being better than hiding from life in drunkeness, (which keeps the problems going, unsolved).

The only way you can help your wife is to help yourself. Only she can stop her own drinking.

Sobriety is a gift. I have never regretted going sober. Keep it up Larry. I'm pulling for you!

[rainydiary]

Hi Larry, I appreciate you sharing this update.  I hope your day was pleasant and the time away from work restorative.

[Larry]

I had a video call with a therapist today.   I thin it went well.  I have an appointment on april 25th.   Not really looking forward to it,   I really don't want to bring up things ,  but i know she can not help unless i do.   I feel a little lonely today.   I know a lot of people,  but don't really have friends.   
54 days without a drink,   sometimes i don't know why i am doing this to myself,   but i am trying to take it day by day.  I really don't have urges to drink,  but sometimes i just want to get drunk and forget....

[Not Alone]

I'm glad your video call went well. You've been waiting a long time for this appointment.

[Armee]

 

Good job sticking with the first appointment! It can be very threatening feeling! There's truly no need to rush bringing things up. Developing stability and safety (feeling safe) and trust are really so important before digging into the other issues and can take a long time. 

[Blueberry]

Good job sticking with the first appointment! It can be very threatening feeling! There's truly no need to rush bringing things up. Developing stability and safety (feeling safe) and trust are really so important before digging into the other issues and can take a long time.

Good going on not drinking too  

[Larry]

thank you everyone !   

[sanmagic7]

well done all around, larry.  keep up the good work!  love and hugs

[Mandox]

You are very brave and strong.  I sent you a message as I had seen some posts from you that sounded difficult times.  Sorry, it might have been from a different time.  Well done for your brave journey so far!