The Feeling of Having Things Taken Away

[goblinchild]

I'm not sure where to put this topic, if it needs to moved that's okay.

I got a bad haircut last weekend. (My hair was looking so nice before hand too! All I needed was a trim! Ohhhh the humanity. ) Ever since then, I've been having nightmares. They weren't about hair though, so I wasn't thinking the two were related until I woke up from one and recognized the feeling left over from the nightmare was the same feeling I was having about the haircut. Then it occurred to me that each of the nightmares were about having different things or people or situations ''taken away" from me.
After that I'm starting to notice small occurrences of this feeling in my everyday life when I feel like little things are being taken away from me.

I feel like maybe they all have something to do with feeling comfortable or okay with some situation. (Ugh like my hair  ) Which is a difficult thing for me  to explain when it comes to objects? Maybe I feel secure in the fact that I HAVE the object, or comfortable enough that I can just put some object wherever I want without feeling a need to protect or hide it. I think it's less about the specifics and more about the feeling.

This feeling seems specific, but can anyone else identify with this? I'm having trouble pinpointing where it's coming from and I have a feeling that maybe it's not as simple as "you had toys taken away from you a lot as a kid".

[LittleBird]

I understand this. I'm not sure how to put it into words, but just wanted to say you're not alone. The way you feel about yourself matters and sometimes objects affect that too. Loss is difficult. It's not selfish to need things, or need a level of security.

[goblinchild]

I understand this. I'm not sure how to put it into words, but just wanted to say you're not alone. The way you feel about yourself matters and sometimes objects affect that too. Loss is difficult. It's not selfish to need things, or need a level of security.

That was very eloquent actually.

[Kat]

It's yet another instance where your wishes were dismissed (even if not intentionally).  Also, it's another instance where you had no control over what was done to you.  It doesn't matter that it's a haircut.  At least, that's how I see it.

[sanmagic7]

i, too, think it's about more than a haircut and having to get used to it.  you went in asking for something specific to be done to your hair, and the stylist ignored your wishes and did whatever s/he wanted.  you were denied, your boundaries were dismissed, and you were treated as if your wants didn't exist, possibly as if you didn't exist.

how many times has this happened in our lives?  too many to count.  no wonder you're having dreams and those specific feelings.   it just happened to you one more time, and the past abuses that were similar seem to be overflowing.  just my opinion, but that's what came to my mind.  big hug to you.

[LittleBird]

Happy to help goblinchild. How have you felt since? I wonder if doing some pampering or just a relaxing activity would help restore a bit of comfort?

[goblinchild]

Happy to help goblinchild. How have you felt since? I wonder if doing some pampering or just a relaxing activity would help restore a bit of comfort?

The feeling is still floating around, but it's not as bad after I realized it was there. I've been sort-of...respecting the fact that it's there when it pops up, and that seems helpful? The nightmares stopped too.

I am realizing though that after "I acknowledge this feeling" or "I'm going to let myself have this feeling" I really don't know where to go from there. I've tried lots of things, including pampering, and none of them seem to feel right. There must be something to that.

[goblinchild]

I told my T about these responses and she looked at me like I was a GENIUS lol. I think you guys hit on something.

[sanmagic7]

how about getting angry that it's happened so many times to you by so many people?  just a thought.   love and hugs.