Good visit with uBPD/Narc mom and GC brother

[Wife#2]

So, I got a call Friday night. Mom. Usually only calls when she needs something. But, this time, all cheerful, she invites me and my family and asks me to invite Stepdaughter and her family, to lunch. Also there will be my brother (the GC), his wife, youngest daughter, daughter's new husband and her son (brother's only grandchild).

Now, my family haven't always been nice to my husband, stepdaughter or step-granddaughter. Being related to the invisible one can have that effect, I guess. But, I answer Mom that yes, DS and I will be there, but hubby already has plans (which he did). I call stepdaughter and invite her. HER hubby has to work, but she and daughter will come.

When confirming, and at my hubby's prompting, I ask Mom if GC Bro knows I'm coming. Having me there was HIS idea. Really? Curious. The paranoid in me wants to know if he's being a flying monkey for Dad, or if my little snap at Dad (thanking GC bro for forwarding a Dad letter because I didn't realize Dad HAD included me until later) made Bro realize how often I'm left out, forgotten, overlooked, ignored or plain-out snubbed.

The funny part to me was that Mom sounded all lovely and generous and happy when SHE called me. She was the Grand Duchess when inviting me. When I called to confirm, and ask the question above, she sounded dull, tired and bored. She wasn't the magnanimous one after all, and my question was direct enough she had to admit it. I wasn't in the mood for that drama, so I got off the phone quick. (WOW, I really did!). Hubby then informed me that both calls had put me into performance mode (what I call it when I act the expected way - sweet entertainer - in person or on the phone with family).

I was worried about falling into performance mode at the luncheon. I especially didn't want to hurt or embarrass my stepdaughter with it. I did do some 'performing' and was a little embarrassed about that. Stepdaughter also got to add to the conversation and niece made that easier - since they are pretty close in age.

The main thing is that my daughter and granddaughter were able to hold their own with my 'Absolutely Fabulous' FOO. Everyone enjoyed the time together and I even enjoyed myself for the most part. Mom declared the visit a success (like there's a way to FAIL having lunch together as a family?). As far as I can tell, bro was being sincere. I'll take that at face value.  And count it good.

[Three Roses]

 
Hopeful signs!