Being laid off next month, feel hopeless

[ten minutes]

I found out last week that my position is being eliminated.  My boss states that it's no fault of my own, but this news has triggered all kinds of horrible thoughts within myself.  First, it brings me back to the narrative that my abusive father fed me for decades.  That I'm not smart enough, not good enough, and don't deserve flourishing.  I have never flourished, always been in survival mode now for 30+ years.  I thought that this was my big break, and there was talk of a promotion coming to me, but the money side of things fell through, and now there is no way to pay me.

Between the feelings of worthlessness, and the fact that I will eventually lose my health insurance (I have no way to pay for my own coverage), I am freaking out.  In therapy, I just started making some big steps to face the trauma I experienced head on, and it's been accompanied by its own problems like dissociation, nightmares nearly every night for the last week, poor sleep quality, etc.  I'm also about to lose my home (at the end of December) as my landlord is selling their property, so it feels like everything is coming apart at the seams and I'm suffocating in this feeling of terror and absolute dread.  I don't know what will happen if I can't see my T any longer, and that's a possible reality because I have no way to pay anything greater than my current co-pay once my insurance coverage lapses.

I know what I need to do:  Find a new job and save up so I can move to a new place.  But I have no idea where to start, and I don't feel strong enough to do anything right now.  I'm sorry if this post doesn't seem cohesive as I'm currently experiencing a flashback and dissociation.

[Dee]

Is there an employment agency that you can use?  This would give you a place to start and perhaps help eliminate some anxiety.  Also, a significant amount of temp work turns into full time work.  So going to a temp agency may also help.  You are leaving under good conditions and that may help you find a new job.  You can sit in the comfort of your own home and research these agencies and then it is one stop.

[Three Roses]

Hello and welcome, ten minutes! We're glad you've joined us.

It's so unfair that the very people who are supposed to build us up and prepare us for adult life seem sometimes to do just the opposite. What a terrible thing to tell your child! Just a cruel lie.

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all of that at once. Just one of those things are enough to stress out anyone!

I used to work in HR, be sure to ask your work, and therapist, if they have any ideas about how you can continue therapy for a while. They may have options. Dee has a great idea! Temp agencies are a great way to get your foot in the door some places.

I think you've made a good start in just identifying what needs to be done. Do what you can, when you can; the last thing you need now is more stress. And BTW, your post was perfectly cohesive.