Kizzie's Journal

[Kizzie]

Tks Dolly   

[Blueberry]

Good luck with your new therapy, Kizzie. Hope it really helps! 

[Kizzie]

Tks BB, if not I may seek inpatient treatment like you. 

Miss you 

[Kizzie]

I hate that I am not doing well at 66 and wonder if I will ever be OK.  I thought if I just worked away at therapy I would improve, recover and while things are better in many respects, there's so much that is still hard to live with. I don't know how to be happy, content, relaxed, count my blessings, all those positive things I hoped would come my way that are still eluding me and I'm not sure why. 

For me it has come down to trying different approach - Ketamine assisted therapy because I am desperate to feel better.  I don't want to feel the weight of CPTSD for what's left of my life, I want it to lift and let me live.  I hope it will help.

I'm also looking to taper off my SSRI since it seems to be causing more anxiety than it is helping.  This is fraught with problems as I read more and more about withdrawal.  I am quite frightened.  The key seems to be tapering very, very slowly so I'm going to send my GP some info about this (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7970174/).  My mistake has been thinking GPs and other professionals know about such things.  Often they don't and we get caught in the knowledge gaps.   

[sanmagic7]

kizzie,  best to you w/ trying ketamine therapy.  i hope it gives you some relief.  at 74, i've had many of the same thoughts about getting better as you.  the whole aspect seems daunting.

as far as withdrawing from anti-depressants, going slowly is definitely the key.  my experience w/ getting off an ssri needed a lot of patience and 9 mos., but by reducing the amount in small increments at least 1-2 weeks at a time, i experienced no side effects at all.  maybe i was being too cautious, and it could have been a lot shorter time, (or that much caution isn't needed w/ different types of ssri's), but i'm just saying it can be done. 

i do so hope you get some relief from these terrible c-ptsd symptoms.  standing right by your side w/ this.  sending love and a hug filled w/ hope and support.

[Kizzie]

Tks so much San.  I am going to send the article to my GP this morning as we're scheduled for a telephone call later today.  The anxiety just won't go away. Basically I am held together with other medications right now and not doing well so perhaps we have gone too quickly.  We can't get connected up with a psychiatrist here to help out so right now it's just her and I. 

I hate this and I'm scared but take some hope in the fact that you managed to taper without reactions so tks for posting. 

[sanmagic7]

this crapola is scary, kizzie.  please know i'm standing with you thru all of this.  very sorry about the anxiety, but i do understand about meds holding us together.  whatever it takes - just make it from today to tomorrow.  that's all we have to do.  hang tough - i'm hangin' right beside you.  sending love and a hug filled w/ togetherness - you're not alone.

[Kizzie]

Tks so much San 

[Hope67]

Hi Kizzie,
I am also sending you a supportive and caring hug    I hope that your new therapy will help.
Hope 

[Armee]

 

[Not Alone]

Kizzie, I'm sorry life is so hard. That sentence is really inadequate, but I feel sad that you aren't doing well.

I was on an SSRI for over a decade. I went off of it at a doctor's advice, but not a doctor's help.  I thought that I lowered it slowly, but had bad effects. Going slowly seems wise.

[CactusFlower]

Slowly is definitely the way to go. Good luck with the GP visit. gentle hugs if you want them.

[Kizzie]

As this whole medication thing unfolds I've been looking (of course) for others like me who have had trouble with SSRIs and found the web site  "Surviving Antidepressants" which was started by a woman in 2011 who basically went through * trying to find the info and help she needed.  It's a bit like Complex PTSD.

Not Alone, I was just reading something by a person this morning who thought that she could go off 25 mg of Zoloft because it was the lowest dose.  It did not go well for her either.  As I look around that site I see so many members who go incredibly slowly and decrease by very small increments to 0.  If/when I make the decision to taper off fully (and I'm heading in that direction I think), I will do the same thing. Slowly, very slowly starting with the Zoloft and then onto the beno (Lorazepam) and then the sleeping pill Zolpidem, all with my GPs help hopefully. 

[sanmagic7]

best to you with getting off those meds, kizzie.  i think it's very wise to do one at a time.  when i was getting off my antidepressant, it was an interesting process.  mine came in capsule form.  my hub would open one of my meds and take out 5 of the little balls of medication inside, throw them out, and i'd take the med capsule minus 5 little balls.  i'd stay on that regimen for a week, (maybe 2) then we'd do it again, this time taking 10 little balls out.  it took me 9 months, but i had no neg. side effects at all.

i hope you find the process that works best for you.  i had a nurse friend help me, as well as an online forum such as you described, designated for this particular med.  can't remember the name.  i think giving brain and body enough time to adjust to a small increment of difference was the key for me.  love and hugs

[Kizzie]

OMG San, that's quite the image. Imagine having to pick little balls out of SSRI capsules to reduce the dose so you don't suffer withdrawal symptoms.  My capsules have powder so I'm going to have to figure out how to do that. I'm sure that site "Surviving Antidepressants" will have some guidance.

I am more convinced I need to stop the meds so will talk to my GP again on Tues as we have another call booked. 

I don't think the next few months will be good and I'm quite scared truth be told.  My hope is that I can get my BP down and try the Ketamine assisted therapy and that it will help me thru all this.