Turning anger from myself to my abusers

[samantha19]

This morning I began descending into the shame of "not being good enough" because of my social anxiety. It has made me iscolate myself, as usual, and I was comparing myself to others. I was thinking "what if I'd just done this?" etc., then I might have more proper friends. Basically, I was indirectly frustrated with myself, and I was getting physical symptoms of anxiety from this too.
Then I turned it around by simply remembering "no, this isn't my fault. I should be angry at the people who done this to me for ruining my ability to make friends, not myself."
It broke the spell, thinking like that.
Now I no longer feel in that timeless place, I can see where I have made some progress.
The anger is where it's supposed to be, and I don't feel ashamed, inadequate and helpless now, I feel motivated, understood and better about myself.

This isn't our fault, these symptoms, and they don't define us, even though it can feel like they do sometimes.
We're all something more and these symptoms are not our fault, they're entirely the fault of cruel people who have done this to us. So I recommend turning that anger around on them, it really helped me. It feels like such a revelation tbh, because
so many of my problems stem from undeserved hate and frustration, turned into myself I think.
I shall try using this technique more often
Thought this might be good to share!

[Dutch Uncle]

Thanks for sharing, and I can relate. Please do try to use your technique more often. I need to practice still, but I find comfort that it seems I am able to direct anger sooner nowadays, and in new situations as well.

Well done!