Hello friends

[PaintedBlack]

I joined the forum a while back and then I became pretty reclusive for the last few months. I don't have any friends but I always think of this place as a safe place even though I haven't visited in a while. I am making a new commitment to socializing more and that includes being around more. I hope you're all doing well and I'm looking forward to catching up with what's going on here. My heart aches for everyone with this disorder.

I got about halfway through Pete Walker's book when I took a break to read another book, understanding and treating dissociative disorders. I'm sort of at a standstill in that book for one reason and another. So just visiting here again remind me maybe it's a good time to go and finish Pete's book.

About 2 months ago I started taking an antipsychotic which helps a lot with my depersonalization disorder. But then it took me awhile to realize it also made me super depressed and I missed the connection for a while. So now I have stopped taking the anti psychotic and my depersonalization and anxiety is through the roof. But I'm not nearly as depressed so that's a good thing. I see the doctor in a couple weeks and I hope she will try a different antipsychotic which will help me with my DP hopefully.

In the meanwhile I'm just trying to get through this time and not be so terrified. I hope it's still the drug wearing off and I will feel better in a few days. Thank you for having me back again. I am going to try to stay in touch because I really need people. And I hope to be a good citizen of the forum for others also. Cheers

[Dutch Uncle]

Welcome back.

I hope and wish you'll enjoy your renewed stay here.
The best of luck in your endeavors.


Dutch Uncle.

[Kizzie]

Welcome back PaintedBlack!  Sorry to hear you're having a tough time with the meds, they can be a crap shoot until you find the right one(s).   

I can hear the determination in your post about staying in touch so kudos    CPTSD and isolation seem to go together for so many of us unfortunately.   I know what you're saying about your heart aching for anyone with the disorder, it's a tough one but we do have found each other and that can be a big step in recovery imo.

Be well 

[pam]

Nice to meet you PaintedBlack 

I also stopped reading Pete Walker's book (a long time ago) and need to finish or even just start over.

And I can relate to your last line of hoping to be a good citizen on the forum! That's funny...I just wrote a post in my thread on coming back here and I had typed "I hope I can contribute to the site" but then I erased it! I felt foolish, it looked wrong, but seeing someone else say a similar thing makes it look so much better! Doesn't sound stupid at all coming from someone else. I think I feel the same way.