Struggling with letting my brain batteries recharge

[Luma1123]

One thing I feel like I'm struggling with is finding the balance between really pushing myself into "healthy" activities, like socialization and physical activity and therapy and busywork, and letting myself have dedicated "healing-free" days where I don't do any of that at all. I'm aware that's probably the most "Type A Personality" sentence I've ever typed out in my life 🤣 but I also remember what it was like when I wasn't living my day to day with anxiety, attention difficulties, and emotional flashbacks. When the only way out is through, how do you let yourself have days where you're not pushing towards that light at the end of the tunnel? I keep grappling with the feeling of shame, for having to rest. I know it's not something to be ashamed of, but I still find myself really uncomfortable with waiting around for my mental and emotional batteries to recharge. There's work to do, etc etc.

Thoughts appreciated. Thanks, all.

[Alexandra]

Hello Luma1123; I also have this issue, I realized, that , there are two problems , one a boundary issue, I could never say no, to abuse , abusers have no boundaries,they make you feel ashamed ,so that they can be as abusive as much as they want ,all of that abuse ,is itself exhausting , to live with ,I have only so much energy, physically, and emotionally , so I have my limits , I call my rest days taking a" day-cation",I take naps listening to special music , watch a DVD ,I reading a special book etc. I also ,learned the difference between feeling shame and guilt. when I feel shame it is because of the way someone  else treated me, I had no control, that is the abuser , if I feel guilt, it is because of something I did, I have control over my choices. I hope this is helpful

[Kizzie]

Just a thought Luma but maybe think of it as going through a five day work week then having the weekend off to renew, refresh, have some down time and fun?  That's what the most people do re work and taking a break from recovery is pretty much the same kind of thing. Recovery is work and a lot of the time it's exhausting so our brain and body (and heart) could use some down time IMO. Just my experience but once I started to do that I felt much better. 

[NarcKiddo]