hopeful for progress

[Desert Flower]

San, it was magical to read your latest entry. Thank you for the inspiration you've been giving me and us here.
 

[NarcKiddo]

I'm so happy to read that you got your magic back.
 

[sanmagic7]

hannah1, thanks ever so for that insight and connection!  never thought of me giving 'magic' gifts, but i guess it can actually be that.  so, cool! 

DF,  thank you so much for your kind words, and i love the cheer.  magic makes more magic, i think, and i would like to see more magic in the world.

Thank you, NK - so am i.  i hope it stays now. it feels really good!

i finally got my princess tiara at a book even my D and i attended yesterday (we did really well - i even sold 2 books!)  a woman sharing our table had lovely little tiaras and gave me one.  i was thrilled, put it on and wore it the rest of the day.  it took me back to when i told my F i wanted to be a princess, and he told me no i didn't, that their life wasn't what it looked like on tv (something to that effect).  i just wanted to be all girly, wear frilly pink dresses, and he smashed it down right then and there.  one more nail in the coffin of my being comfortable with my femininity.

so, i told my D that story while proudly wearing my little tiara and said F you, dad!  and it felt good to say it.  my D laughed, told me she was ready to say it if i hadn't.  i'm glad i did. 

[HannahOne]

I absolutely love that you got a tiara today! Being a princess is a pretty sweet gig and you seem made for the part! Only a dude who's never been a princess would diss the role like that. Poor guy doesn't know what he's missing!

And congratulations on the book event, that is so brave and exciting!

[sanmagic7]

thanks, hannah1 - yeah, my father wasn't into me being girly at all.  he ran the streets when he was a kid, rather the opposite of being in a princess' world.  on the other hand, he could've told me i was his little princess, and that would've satisfied me, i'm sure.  however, add one more to the list of 'never got but needed'.

crashed from the book event, therapy today, gotta tell my T i didn't do her assignments and why.  gotta get energy up for that, but i'm gonna do it.  meds beforehand, as usual.  standing up for myself can still be difficult at times.