DID - how do you know?

[Forestmistheather]

Hi,

I think I have DID, but I don't know how to be totally sure.  So I was wondering if anyone who does have it could tell me their experience and how they knew they had it if you don't mind.

Thanks,

[Blueberry]

I probably have OSDD, otherwise specified dissociative disorder which is not quite as far along the spectrum as DID. It's trauma therapists who've told me it looks like OSDD, so not just me thinking it might be.

There are some threads about it on the forum, which may help you, and sometimes members with DID join in too: https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=15563.msg136240#msg136240  On this thread, the following is mentioned: https://heyzine.com/flip-book/7d91ed1b1e.html#page/1  "All about DID/OSDD and for people living with it or living with someone who does."

Other forum threads on similar: https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=17123.msg159362#msg159362
https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=15204.msg143869#msg143869


There might be some helpful comments on these threads: https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=16773.msg153368#msg153368   Janina Fisher book mentioned, which is supposed to be helpful about blending, I haven't read it personally.
https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=15621.15
https://www.cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=15081.msg131027#msg131027  from post#4 onwards

Whenever I try to answer somebody's post about DID or OSDD with how I experience the latter, I end up totally messed up in my brain. It's, um, 'interesting'. Also very strenuous for me, so I don't want to write any more than just listing links. You may find that other forum members with OSDD or DID also don't want to write things out again, but I hope some do, for your sake.

You'll also find descriptions of life with DID or OSDD if you search Journals. I didn't want to link to other members' Journals.

Hope something I linked is helpful for you.

[Blueberry]

P.S. I think, just as everybody's cptsd differs a bit (we fortunately don't need all symptoms and all comorbidities), people will experience aspects of DID or OSDD in different ways, and maybe even discover according to different reactions or something that they have it. Maybe.

[Forestmistheather]

Thank you Blueberry, that's really useful

[NarcKiddo]

I am pretty sure I do not have DID but I certainly have dissociative aspects and parts that can be quite intrusive. I find Janina Fisher's books quite helpful and informative.

[Blueberry]

Thank you Blueberry, that's really useful

I am happy about that. 

[sanmagic7]

hi, forestmistheather, i've never been formally diagnosed with DID, but i'm quite sure i do struggle with it at times.  i have another personality who shows herself at times of extreme duress or stress, times when i need to make it thru something but i don't want to be there.  she (i call her the 'gray lady') endures whatever it is that i have to make it thru. 

i'm normally of a very big personality, whereas she has basically none, which is why i think of her as gray.  some examples of when she's shown herself has been during doctor visits, an ear exam with an intimidating man, a party where i was expected to do something i was uncomfortable with (i did run away from that one, but she was there first), and during an application process for an internship (i didn't get it).

quite contrary to my regular personality, she speaks quietly, saying the bare essentials, shows no emotion.  a former therapist of mine said she met the gray lady on our first visit and had said to herself that she'd never seen anyone without any kind of emotion on her face before.

i'm aware when this happens, i know what's happening, but i cannot make her speak up or show any kind of animation.  she shows up w/o any warning beforehand and after the situation is finished, she disappears immediately, and i'm back to myself again.  when i had that interview, i remember how, as soon as i opened the door to the interviewer's office, it was as if i, myself, stayed outside and someone who looked like me went in for the interview.

i understand her as being someone who steps in when a situation seems 'dangerous' to some part of my psyche, endures whatever has to happen (such as pain in a doctor's office) so that i can do what i was there to do, and when things are back to 'normal', she's not needed anymore and leaves.  this has happened at various times in my life, probably the first time i remember i was in my 20's.  so, that's my story.  she helps me, i know that, endures what must be endured for me, cuz for some reason my mind doesn't believe i can - and yes, at times, i know i've wanted to run out and away from the situation because it felt intimidating, was very painful, or extremely uncomfortable. 

i am scheduled to begin w/ a therapist next month who works with dissociation, so we'll see what happens with that.  i'm actually grateful for my gray lady cuz she's gotten me thru a lot.  hope this is helpful.      san

[Forestmistheather]

Thanks NarcKiddo, I'll look that up.

Thanks San, yes definitely helpful.  With me, I have this other part of me that's ludicrously angry, like just explodes at people.  It's rare that they appear, maybe once every few years, there has to be sometime big to trigger them.  But they are so polar opposite to the regular me.  I can't get angry with my worst enemy.  So these are 2 very distinct identities.

[Moondance]

Yes, this resonates for me as well.  The protective parts.  I have not looked into this  much but definitely resonates.

I am aware of the dissociation I experience but that is all I can say at the moment.

Thank you for initiating this topic.