the next step

[sanmagic7]

full grieving mode right now.  lots of tears, lots of emptying out, lots of forlorn, pain, hurt, and just plain sadness.  some anger, too.  i even found some vengeful thinking for a minute, but shushed that away.  i don't want to be that person.

[NarcKiddo]

When you have processed the main part of the grieving it might be worth revisiting the vengeful thinking a little. Not to be that person but to help get it out. You're not that person - shushing it away proves it - but those thoughts may still have some validity. It's a hard thing to process and you were wise to get the thoughts out of the way while you do the main grief work. And maybe you will find you have successfully got rid of them anyway, just by finding them for that minute and reporting them here. Please ignore this if not helpful.

 

[sanmagic7]

thanks, NK.  always helpful

i'm going to the healing porch for a few days.  this grief is too much right now.