the next step

[sanmagic7]

i'm in a new mind place again, which marks the next step for me.  i have a doc now, one, which i haven't had in i can't even tell how long.  maybe not since i was a kid.  for some reason my memory of doctors in my past has been being shoveled from one to another.  even the ones i thought were going to be the ones to take care of me - 2 that i remember, one for childbirth, one for general - both were called away at a crucial time in my medical history, and i had strangers, once again, doing whatever procedure was important at that moment.

so, i never felt like i could say 'my doctor said or did this or that', or had one who knew me and my history.  and in mexico, unless you paid out of pocket, which i couldn't do, the health service was a series of revolving doctors in training (they were sent to our small town to do their internship, so to speak, but it wasn't supervised, nothing like what we have here in the states, they spent a year in our town, then would move on to the big city).  so, health care there was spotty at best.  i mean, the cancer which continued to crawl across my head for over 15 yrs was diagnosed alternately as eczema or psoriasis.  it wasn't till i got back to the states that a doc took one look and gasped in astonishment, too biopsies on the spot.  turns out it was 2 types of cancers, and he saved my life, literally.

at any rate, i'm now here, planning to stay here, and have an established doctor for the first time in a very long time.  it's a new feeling, kinda good, actually, settled, strong, reliable.  that's nice.

and another next step is getting a new T, which i'm in the process of doing.  that will feel nice, too, especially if i can find one i work well with.  we'll see.  so, step by step . . .

[NarcKiddo]