What is Joy?

[gcj07a]

My wife likes to ask people what has brought them joy lately. And most people actually have an answer! I don't understand that. I don't know if I have ever felt joy. Or, if I have, I don't remember it. At best there are moments of contentment, when active pain is still for awhile. But the emotional suffering is always waiting for me. Growing up the best I could hope for was to be left alone, but I work and have a family and can't be left alone. Which is why there is always pain. I have recently spiraled back into major depression (it comes and goes depending on how well managed my CPTSD is) just in time for the holidays.

[NarcKiddo]

Depression and the holiday season seem to go hand in hand for a lot of us here. I am sorry you are struggling with depression right now and hope you find your way out of it soon.

I think the word joy can be a bit misleading and difficult, especially when it is seen as something to aspire to. I have nothing against joy but it feels like a big emotion, and growing up those were always dangerous. I think big emotions also should be fleeting, whether good or bad. Contentment is what I tend to look for these days. It feels comfortable (now I have come to recognise it) and achievable, which is a big step forward.

[gcj07a]

Thanks NarcKiddo! I appreciate your perspective.

[Chart]

I agree with NarcKiddo, I think the word joy means different things to different people. This is actually something that deeply annoys me, when people don't get the complexity of the language and words they are using. (Not this topic, I mean, what annoys me is in every day life when people throw words around without really thinking about what they mean and could imply.) I think the definition of joy would be quantitatively different for the Dali Llama as to a drug dealer in a favela in Brazil (but maybe not, actually).
But where joy might be contextual, depression is much more commonly agreed upon (is this due to the frequency of the latter and the rarity of the former?)
I'm sorry to hear your are struggling with depression, gcj07a. I experience mild to severe depression pretty much every morning, which can last from a couple hours to over a week. Things have been better since I discovered Cptsd and began working on my own inner health. The word Joy is perhaps more complex than we realize.

Imagine a child falls on the sidewalk and begins crying in pain. I watch as his parent comes to him and picks him up and hugs him and soothes him with their voice. I watch this from a distance, a stranger on the street. But this circumstance actually brings me joy (this sort of thing happens to me all the time). I am out in the world and see things happening and I feel inside my being that it is good and just and loving. Being witness to the workings of the Universe on this level definitely bring me joy. Saturday last I got out into the town and ran into a group of Brazillian-style drummers performing in the streets. I stayed with them for twenty minutes and was so touched and joyful that I began crying.
For me anyway, joy is found in the little things, the small occurences and events of existence as I witness them around me. The stillness of the forest can descend upon me like a waterfall, and the sun through the branches awaken an intense pleasure... Is that joy? In the end, maybe, it's I who determines what is joy or not... And if I determine it, then I can also encourage the Universe to send me more. As I start to see it I can (and have) realize that it's there all around me all the time. I see horror too. But then I can choose how far I need "go" into one or the other. It's not always a choice, most of the time not at all. My depression is not something I (yet) have much control over. But I get hints... relatively often, that I am not just a useless extra in this drama of existence. And then I run into people who feel similarly and we can relate... and boy o boy that feels good.
No, no, it's an EXCELLENT question (in my opinion :-)
And your question has brought me some joy reflecting on it. So thank you, gcj07a,from the bottom of my heart.
I am sending you some of the joy you have given me right back to you. Joy is, after all, ten times more potent when shared, thank you.
 

[Blueberry]

For me, joy is often a fleeting and very spontaneous emotion. I don't mind that it's fleeting. When I spontaneously smile or feel as if I'm radiating within, that's often brought about by joy.

For me, it's usually small things that bring joy: watching cute animals or birds and insects in the garden, seeing the first flowers of spring, seeing a flower still blooming in November, somebody spontaneously smiling at me especially a child, the sun coming through the clouds, talking to my own pets when I still had some, singing with others, looking at certain colours like certain blues and greens, colouring in using yellow and orange. I agree with Chart and NK that what gives one person joy is quite personal, so my examples are just that - what works for me. Your joys might be quite different.

I wrote a book of daily joys a good few years ago and that was really useful to have me dwelling on feeling joy even if just for a few minutes a day.

I think contentment is a really good state of being/mind to aim for. When I'm feeling contented, I think it's a longer-drawn out emotion than the spontaneous joy at the things I listed above. It's not so intense as joy, maybe that's why joy is fleeting for me, maybe I couldn't handle an intense feeling over a longer time without dissociating or something.