Progress in physical emergency situation + hospital

[Blueberry]

*** Trigger Warning Medical Trauma ***     (not too gruesome, I don't think)




I was bitten by an insect yesterday and had an immediate allergic reaction that got pretty full-on within minutes. Not progress obviously, but the way I dealt with it was:

I was at an outside event where there were ambulances anyway and headed straight to them and tho I was in shock and trembling and feeling sick and itchy/burning all over,  (1) I did manage to tell them I'm allergic to a particular medication that is used to bring an allergic reaction down. (2) I also told them before I was injected with cortisol?/cortisone? that I know they have to inject but I have a cptsd trauma thing with injections and the paramedic was caring about that, in her tone of voice, gestures. When she had to give me a further injection she signalled to her colleague who had a free moment to distract me while she injected, which he did by asking some totally non-related questions. That was helpful in the moment, kept my Adult of Today distracted and I think maybe helped out whichever ICs were so badly affected.

They took me to hospital and I was in overnight on the emergency observation ward. At first I always apologised for using the bell to call nurses, cuz I know how under-staffed and stressed they are, but they were so nice and said not to apologise that (3) I stopped feeling bad about it and rang with abandon, when I needed to.

Sometime in the early morning (4) I started connecting with and communicating with an IC. When I say 'connecting with', I mean I can sense and feel a lot more than if I'm just talking and she can communicate with me. So I explained that I know an injection is scary for her but it's necessary. She knew the latter, didn't need to be told. Instead, she cried about how scary it was. And repeated 'scary' a couple of times. I could sense that what she needed was to be able to name her feeling and have that accepted and especially NOT have it pooh-poohed as my FOO would have and did. I'm not going to write how because this is meant to be about success and progress  (plus - 5 - I can feel that going back into the trauma rn would not be good for my Adult and undoubtedly not for ICs). I (6) acknowledged IC's feelings (that it was scary).

*** End Trigger Warning Medical Trauma ***





(7) This morning I started tapping (EFT) in order to bring my anxiety down somewhat. I can't remember my sentences but things like 'trusting the hospital', which I had good reason to, unlike the times I was traumatised as a small child in medical settings. This time the hospital and paramedics showed me by their behaviour and words that I could trust them! I yawned a lot, which shows me that the EFT is working. I haven't tapped for seemingly ages, today I noticed (8 ) when it's the appropriate method, then it's there, I start doing it and the correct sentences for me to work with just appear and sometimes even change into something different mid-tap. It's all good, that's how it works for me so (9) not just appropriate to have trust in the hospital but also in ME, TRUST in ME and my capabilities.  A bit later after talking to the doc, I couldn't tap anymore, just not the wherewithal so (10) I remembered to place a hand on my stomach and a hand just below my collar-bone, which are calming spots for me.

By all these things I was doing, I (11) knew that I was reducing the chance of the medical trauma already there being compounded, and it was brilliant of me to be acting on it in the actual setting - both place-wise and emotion-wise. Going at it in the moment.

    

[NarcKiddo]

That's WONDERFUL! Obviously not the bite, but opportunities that force you to prove yourself to you and your ICs in such a dramatic way don't happen all that often, thankfully, so it's hugely meaningful when you can grab them and use them in such a helpful way. Well done, Blueberry. Well done, also, for processing it carefully and writing it while the experience is still so fresh.

 

[Blueberry]

Thank you NK