Progress in physical emergency situation + hospital

Blueberry · June 20, 2025, 11:14:27 AM

*** Trigger Warning Medical Trauma *** (not too gruesome, I don't think)

I was bitten by an insect yesterday and had an immediate allergic reaction that got pretty full-on within minutes. Not progress obviously, but the way I dealt with it was:

I was at an outside event where there were ambulances anyway and headed straight to them and tho I was in shock and trembling and feeling sick and itchy/burning all over, (1) I did manage to tell them I'm allergic to a particular medication that is used to bring an allergic reaction down. (2) I also told them before I was injected with cortisol?/cortisone? that I know they have to inject but I have a cptsd trauma thing with injections and the paramedic was caring about that, in her tone of voice, gestures. When she had to give me a further injection she signalled to her colleague who had a free moment to distract me while she injected, which he did by asking some totally non-related questions. That was helpful in the moment, kept my Adult of Today distracted and I think maybe helped out whichever ICs were so badly affected.

They took me to hospital and I was in overnight on the emergency observation ward. At first I always apologised for using the bell to call nurses, cuz I know how under-staffed and stressed they are, but they were so nice and said not to apologise that (3) I stopped feeling bad about it and rang with abandon, when I needed to.

Sometime in the early morning (4) I started connecting with and communicating with an IC. When I say 'connecting with', I mean I can sense and feel a lot more than if I'm just talking and she can communicate with me. So I explained that I know an injection is scary for her but it's necessary. She knew the latter, didn't need to be told. Instead, she cried about how scary it was. And repeated 'scary' a couple of times. I could sense that what she needed was to be able to name her feeling and have that accepted and especially NOT have it pooh-poohed as my FOO would have and did. I'm not going to write how because this is meant to be about success and progress (plus - 5 - I can feel that going back into the trauma rn would not be good for my Adult and undoubtedly not for ICs). I (6) acknowledged IC's feelings (that it was scary).

*** End Trigger Warning Medical Trauma ***

(7) This morning I started tapping (EFT) in order to bring my anxiety down somewhat. I can't remember my sentences but things like 'trusting the hospital', which I had good reason to, unlike the times I was traumatised as a small child in medical settings. This time the hospital and paramedics showed me by their behaviour and words that I could trust them! I yawned a lot, which shows me that the EFT is working. I haven't tapped for seemingly ages, today I noticed (8 ) when it's the appropriate method, then it's there, I start doing it and the correct sentences for me to work with just appear and sometimes even change into something different mid-tap. It's all good, that's how it works for me so (9) not just appropriate to have trust in the hospital but also in ME, TRUST in ME and my capabilities. A bit later after talking to the doc, I couldn't tap anymore, just not the wherewithal so (10) I remembered to place a hand on my stomach and a hand just below my collar-bone, which are calming spots for me.

By all these things I was doing, I (11) knew that I was reducing the chance of the medical trauma already there being compounded, and it was brilliant of me to be acting on it in the actual setting - both place-wise and emotion-wise. Going at it in the moment.

NarcKiddo · June 20, 2025, 11:27:25 AM

That's WONDERFUL! Obviously not the bite, but opportunities that force you to prove yourself to you and your ICs in such a dramatic way don't happen all that often, thankfully, so it's hugely meaningful when you can grab them and use them in such a helpful way. Well done, Blueberry. Well done, also, for processing it carefully and writing it while the experience is still so fresh.

Blueberry · June 20, 2025, 09:01:27 PM

Thank you NK

Kizzie · June 21, 2025, 12:18:43 AM

That's awesome BB! Being in the ER is scary whether adult or child so well done you.

Blueberry · June 21, 2025, 09:06:53 PM

Thank you Kizzie

There are more realisations coming, I mean healing ones. But today I'm also feeling the affect of the anti-allergy meds I've been put on for the next days, a bit like depersonalisation maybe.

But still - considering everything that went on, I'm doing really, really well and I'm proud of myself for managing, and also for taking good care of myself today. I'm drinking just water, eating carefully with regards to amount and what exactly, taking no risks. I had some cherries in the fridge anyway and had a couple but noticed they were weird on my tongue, so not eating those. It goes against the grain to throw them in the compost, but I'm not well enough to find somebody who might like them.

I allowed myself to lie down and doze for most of the day, I needed it.
I felt better for being and talking in and being supported by my Zoom Group this evening tho

sanmagic7 · June 23, 2025, 01:50:33 PM

i'm proud of you, too, blueberry, if that's appropriate. you took care of the situation just the way you needed it to be taken care of, and you had what sounds like some lovely people to take care of you, who listened to you and helped in a meaningful way. so glad your eft tapping can help you in certain circumstances and certain ways. wonderful that you were able to discover that for yourself. well done all around! and, yeah, you deserve a rest. love and hugs

Hope67 · June 23, 2025, 03:26:49 PM

Hi Blueberry,
There is so much in what you wrote, and I am so glad you were able to take those actions and get the help you needed, and I think it's a very big thing to have done that. I am sending you a hug as well

Hope

Blueberry · June 23, 2025, 09:57:52 PM

Thank you both san and Hope for your words of support and comfort and hugs. You're right Hope it was a very big thing which I managed to do for myself, and continuing today too like I went to see my gp about certain minor symptoms which are continuing, just because I needed re-assurance. My gp was totally fine about that, didn't berate me for 'wasting time' or anything like that. When I left, I felt better because my anxiety had gone down again, thanks to her words including factual information.

You may be proud of me san! In fact I'm proud of myself

and I know that's a very big deal.

To you both san and Hope