JDog's Journal

[Deep Blue]

Jdog,
It's so hard not to get pulled down by the devastation.  I'm going to look and see where I can donate money to help as well.  Maybe I can order a sweatshirt too.

Keep taking care of you my dear.  Much love to you 

[Jdog]

Thanks for your support, Hope and Deep Blue!

DB- If you want to order a shirt to support the families of those who lost their lives in Thousand Oaks, check eastwindscreenprint.com.  They are the folks making T-shirts, sweatshirts, and other memorabilia.  They are donating most or all profits to the families to help defray funeral expenses, etc.

We also helped sponsor one of the families who lost a home in Paradise, CA.  If anyone wants to help, I'm told there is a Facebook group connecting donors with needy families.  I'm not on Facebook, so I can't be any more helpful than that. 

To those of you in the US and Canada, Happy Thanksgiving!

[Hope67]

Happy ThanksGiving to you Jdog.   
Hope 

[Jdog]

Two years ago, I ran in my town's marathon for the second time.  Last year, right around this time, I acquired an injury which has kept me sidelined.  Recently, I have been able to walk senza the boot, which is great and wonderful to me.  Today, I walked 2.2 miles up to cheer on the marathon runners at Mile 10.  It's a bright, beautiful day and this little walk helped me release a bit more of the "I'm not good enough" tape that plays in my head.  I also observed salmon spawning in the River, something I could not have done if running.  I ended up crying some unshed tears for the loss of my Mom 6 1/2 years ago, and let myself really feel the pain in my belly.

It's a journey, coming to terms with limitations and letting go of what could have been but just isn't.  And through it all, the sun shines and the fall foliage is rich and colorful.  Speaking of which, I had better keep moving as I have to rake some of that lovely stuff up before rains return!!

[Deep Blue]

I think you are more than good enough Jdog!

I ordered a shirt from eastwind print shop place you mentioned and had it sent to my friend that's been effected.  Thanks for suggesting it 

[Jdog]

Thanks for the kind words, Blue.  And I'm so glad you were able to send a shirt to your friend who suffered due to the terribly smoky air we had back in November.  I'm sure she appreciated it!

[Hope67]

Hi Jdog,  Great that you were able to support and cheer the people doing that marathon - and that you walked 2.2 miles - sounds like a lovely day as well - and I agree with Deep Blue - you are much much more than good enough - you are wonderful.    Glad you were able to cry some unshed tears for your Mom - and let yourself feel that pain in your belly.  Sending you a gentle hug - 
Hope 

[Jdog]

Thanks, Hope.  Your gentle reflecting back is really nice.  Actually, I walked 4.5 miles since it was up and then back again.  Not that it matters....

[Hope67]

It definitely matters - you walked a long way!     Well done.   
Hope 

[Jdog]

Wow.  What an emotional day it has been.  Starting with welcoming my student teacher back after he took time away to cope with the death of his father and a drawn out series of funeral events - he is Hmong, and the grieving process is lengthy.  Next, I had a student confide something r9 me that absolutely ripped my heart apart and he and I went to the counselor together, during which time all 3 of us sat and cried over his situation....and we are trying to help all that we can but the counselor and I look at him and see a pretty grim future unless he gets an immediate redirection and lots of outside help...

Then, since it is late in the semester, I was writing emails to parents of kids in danger of failing the class and one woman became incredibly ticked off at me since she feels I have waited too long to contact her, etc. etc. and my co teacher had friction with her son and so forth.  Ugh.  And then, I received an email from our superintendent and the president of the school board - actually, it was a video message - boo hooing about how the district is so broke and they just can't cut any more from central office so we should all be prepared to give a little back, primarily in the form of reduced benefits.  Oh, and he is going to forego his next raise...,never mind that he already makes more than the governor of the state and won't take any pay cut as a symbolic gesture.....

Then, I panicked when I thought I had lost my credit card, but it was really in the pocket of a shirt in my closet....

I needed an extra graham cracker with peanut butter and jelly tonight....my comfort food.  Yeah, I need to take off six pounds, but tonight wasn't the time to start.....

[Three Roses]

  Wow, Jdog, that's a lot! I'm sending tons of good wishes for relaxation and refreshment to you. 

[Hope67]

Hi Jdog - I hope you enjoy that Graham cracker with peanut butter and jelly tonight - your comfort food.  I can see you've had so much to deal with - very emotional - sending you a hug  and hope that you can relax this evening. 
Hope 

[Jdog]

Thanks, 3 Roses and Hope.  The young man I mentioned came to school on time, had eaten breakfast, and was really glad to receive the alarm clock I purchased for him.  It was heartwarming seeing him awake and smiling! 

The school district woes won't end any time soon, but I can't let that be my focus.  I feel appreciated at my school site.  That counts for a lot, since I have sure had the opposite feeling in the past.  Lately, it seems my triggers have lead me to good places as I have just continued following the feelings that get stirred up.  There's a lot left to do, healing wise, but I have so much gratitude for the distance I have already come.

[Hope67]

Hi Jdog, It's great that the young man was awake and smiling today - and that he appreciated the alarm clock you purchased for him, and I think it's great that you feel appreciated at your school site.  I just want to add that I hope you feel appreciated here too - as I and many others appreciate you!   
Hope 

[Jdog]

Thanks, Hope!  I appreciate everyone here, and do feel appreciated myself.