To my unofficial surrogate parents

[Denali]

I always believed that the only good thing anti-mom did for me was drop me off at your house.

I spent my formative years learning to talk, read, write my name, use the washroom, and most importantly love.

I loved you both and had a fierce loyalty. I was always grateful you raised me for those 3 years. I accredited you two for why I became a better person.

I'm not sure why when I got older you took her side on things. You know she abused me. Yet you believed her lies and would be her ally when she made false accusations about me.

For years, I kept telling myself I don't resent you. Unfortunately, there is resentment. I don't hate you, but I don't love you anymore.

When I finally escaped and started my own life I thought I was done dealing with her.  As a good surrogate daughter I called and visited you. I hate that you would make me go talk to her.

I was so hurt when you wouldn't come to my firstborn's baby shower because she wasn't welcome.

I hate when I graduated after earning my associates degree, you wanted me to celebrate my achievement with her birthday.

How could you? You had the honor of being my children's grandparents. You got the mother's and father's day cards.

I'm not sure you were worthy of them. You did not have the same loyalty to me. 

It destroyed my world when you passed, surrogate mom. However, I was finally free to tell anti-mom to stay out of my life.

I tried being there for surrogate dad. Once again he chose to listen to anti-mom about garbage she was talking about me and have a problem with me. So I had to go.

It was unfair that I was still being treated like I did something wrong.

I thank you for helping me as a toddler. I don't regret having to let go as an adult.