Not Alone: 2022

[Hope67]

Hi Not Alone,
  That is great. 

Hope 

[sanmagic7]

 

[Not Alone]

Thank you, everyone.

The piece that I didn't share is that before I confronted H, I received a message from our financial person saying that H had asked him to put money from my account into the checking account. Financial person asked if I was okay with that. No!!!!! I was clear with H that I did not think that he had a right to that money. Then H went behind my back and asked the financial person to put the money into an account that he has access to. Wow. Sneaky. 

[rainydiary]

 

[Armee]

 

[Hope67]

That was incredibly sneaky 

[Blueberry]

 

I'm sorry Not Alone. I think that's way worse than sneaky. I'm angry at your H. He's making your life extra-hard. Standing with you. 

[Not Alone]

Rainy, Armee, Hope, Blueberry,
I appreciate your anger on my behalf and your validation.


Last night when I told my Bible study group about this, three people at once told me to change my locks as soon as he is out of the house. This morning I'm feeling dysregulated. Living with someone who is unsafe is hard. It has been that he was unsafe emotionally. It seems that he may be unsafe in other ways. I'm having a hard time wrapping my mind around that. I never would have believed that to be true.

I need to leave for work. I need to try and put this in a box for now, so that I can do my job.

[Not Alone]

Work was fine, although I felt tired.

The financial issues with my H have me upset. I don't do well with financial issues at the best of times. I don't trust him. I need all of this to be over! This has been a long nightmare. The earnest money that he put down on his townhouse is from OUR checking account, also the payment for the townhouse inspection.

[Not Alone]

Conversation with H went okay. I need to process with my friend tomorrow.

[Not Alone]

I have been more tired lately. On both Saturday and today, I took a long nap. I'm not sure if I'm avoiding some things (getting ready for new job, which feels overwhelming &/or signing financial papers from divorce.) I have been under huge, unrelenting stress for the last nine months. I wonder if my body is saying, "I'm tired. Give me a break!"

After my nap I signed most papers. I sent a question about one to financial advisor. Signing the papers makes me ill. What is fair by law, is not the same as what is fair in my mind. It is distressing that my H got so much of my inherited money (because I trusted him and our marriage and put his name on it.)

So hard.

[rainydiary]

From the outside it also seems unfair to have inherited money not be yours.  I hope that the extra stress eases as soon as possible.

[Moondance]

I'm so sorry Not Alone for all the stresses right now.  I think your right about your body telling you rest is needed.

I stand with you as well regarding the inheritance.  That just doesn't seem right in my eyes either.  This makes me so angry for you.

You are not standing alone in this.

if okay

[sanmagic7]

 

[Not Alone]

Thank you, Rainy, Moondance & San.