Not Alone: 2022

[Not Alone]

I texted our financial adviser/investor, trying to get clarification on what money was inherited from my father. His answer was not helpful. Maybe my question wasn't clear, as I don't understand financial issues. At any rate, it feels like he is for H. I had faxed a company for information. I should have received that three days ago, but I haven't received anything.

I finally got financial information from financial adviser/investor. Hopefully it will help me.

I skipped church and ended up sleeping.

To the best of my ability I finished financial information for divorce mediator. That is not easy for me and it took some time.

TW
I'm triggered by many things right now. Hit my hand against the wall. It is swollen and hurts. I took a second xanax to try to diminish my huge feelings and temptation for SI.

I might not get anything more done on my "to do" list. I'm in survival mode. I don't have to work tomorrow so I'm grateful for an extra day.

[Armee]

I'm so angry H left you to deal with the cleaning laundry and shopping. I know the cleaning is important right now for valuing the house for you. I am so so so proud of you for getting thru the financial documents. That stuff is so difficult and triggering and just emotional. Good job resting. Rest rest rest. There's tomorrow. 

[Blueberry]

Hey notalone,

It sounds to me as if you accomplished a lot today, especially considering you're in survival mode. Really, quite enough done from your 'to do' list and then some. It sounds to me as if sleeping instead of going to church was necessary and beneficial. Good job! 

I'm sorry you're triggered by so much atm. Sending support and care. And gentle hugs if not too overwhelming atm.

[Not Alone]

  Armee & Blueberry.

[rainydiary]

I am here supporting your journey from afar.

[sanmagic7]

notalone, i hope the xanax helped keep you from more SH.  this is such a tough time you're going thru, and i can only applaud your determination, perseverance, and sense of responsibility to take care of what's necessary w/o help from your H.  i, too, feel anger that he's not helping more, leaving you w/ the bulk of what needs to be done.

hang tough, notalone - i'm hangin' right beside you.  love and hugs

[Not Alone]

I asked my H what he was going to do to clean. My idea of clean and his are not the same. He did some things and I did some. I let some stuff go.

I had some difficult moments today, but I was mostly okay.

[Armee]

 

I'm proud of you. Even if his idea of clean is not the same, it's still a good thing to call him out a bit on what he's doing.

Good luck this week and lots of love to you.

[Not Alone]

I'm doing okay right now. We were without electricity for a couple of days. I'm grateful that it is working again and that the house is warm!

[rainydiary]

I'm grateful you have electricity back and that you have comfort in feeling warmer today.

[Not Alone]

Thank you, Rainy.

[Not Alone]

Joint meeting with divorce mediator today. Went over numbers and accounts. No decisions made. Even with job starting in July, it seems I won't make enough to live on. That isn't even thinking about retirement, of which I have none, other than a little inherited money. This is too much for me.

[Not Alone]

Forced myself to go to church. It was a good call. Tough day, but doing better now. I was able to get some further information to divorce mediator that she needed.

[Armee]

 

[rainydiary]

Not Alone, you are in my thoughts during this time.  I am glad you found something that was supportive today.