Discouraged

[owl25]

I'm feeling pretty low today. During my session today it became so very clear how resistant part of me is to moving forward. There is massive resistance and it feels like I accomplished nothing in the session. Part of me is so very angry at me trying to move forward. I felt such anger! Overcoming this resistance feels futile. I hate myself. I have been stuck for so long and it's been nothing but an uphill battle to make progress. I don't like how I feel at all. I don't like being at odds with myself. It feels like a war zone inside me, part of me so badly wanting to heal, another part not having it. I don't want to waste more time, I've already lost so much time to this stuckness.

[rainydiary]

Thank you for sharing.  The experience you shared resonates with me today as I am in a similar place.  I am re-reading a book by Haemin Sunim called Love for Imperfect Things.  My favorite lines that have been meaningful for me in re-reading:

"Be good to yourself first, then to others."

"And shout out loud to your struggling self, 'I love you so much.'"

[Not Alone]

Maybe the part of you that feels resistant is trying to protect you in the only way that part knows how; that is to keep you from looking at certain things. Not sure if that makes sense or fits. I also have experienced feeling like there is a war going on inside.

[Jazzy]

Sorry to hear you're feeling badly today, Owl. It is understandable with what you're going through. I hope you can get things straightened out soon, and stop fighting/hating yourself. It sounds like there is something deeper going on, maybe like notalone said, part of you is being protective. Anyway, hope you feel better soon. All the best!

[owl25]

I feel so done with this. I feel let down by everyone who was ever supposed to help me, and also let down by myself. I don't see how this is ever supposed to get any better. I am tired of this battle and I am tired of no one being able to help.

[Blueberry]

owl, I would like to send you some gentle hugs of support if that's helpful for you 

[Snowdrop]

You have a lot going on, Owl. I'm not surprised it feels like a war zone. If it helps, I will put a blanket round your shoulders and bring you a cup of tea.

[dreamriver]

It's gonna be OK, owl. There are moments like this where it seems pointless to go on and the pain is too much. I hope it goes away soon, because it always does. And you'll get that light and clarity again to keep going. Be gentle with yourself, because you are totally OK being where you are at right now.