starting over

[sanmagic7]

feeling better today.  as someone in my other journal wrote, i'm not doing it wrong, just doing what works best for me.  also talked w/ my D about it, and she's never felt like she fits in here, either.  it's true, i don't often hold the same life values as others here - i'm much more curious, more likely to be adventurous, less trendy/more comfortable, more accepting of my body, especially in public.  stuff like that.  free spirit and mostly unconstrained.  i've been told people are jealous of that, envious of how i've lived.  intimidated by me, even, cuz they can't see a pattern when it comes to my words or actions. 

it's just difficult at times, to be thrown back into the midst of that mindset when i'm around others.  i was raised very conservatively, my cousins are extremely conservative, and i'm just not.  i haven't been around very many of those kinds of people for a long time, and it kind of took me by surprise, i guess.  i just don't like feeling judged.

when my D and i were talking, she brought up the incident of meeting my cousin.  my D was playing her video games online w/ others - something she does every day as part of her routine and part of her way to socialize and relax her brain/mind. so, that's what she was doing when i introduced them, and my cousin immediately said 'how old are you?'.  my D was quick, and said 1002.  the next day i realized how very disrespectful that was of my cousin, in that tone of voice.  to me, a very limited world view, one that isn't very accepting.

families . . .