Tee's first journal

[Tee]

Struggling tonight not sure why. Can't sleep can't think can't breathe! Want to be done with hurting

[Three Roses]

Hmm... Could it be you're in an EF? Try this link and see if it seems to be a good fit -
http://pete-walker.com/flashbackManagement.htm

We care about you. You're always one of the first to be supportive! Here's a hug for you if you want one. 

[Tee]

Thanks 3R  it probably is an EF or my ICr destroying before I can be crushed by not getting the new job I want. Or because I missed therapy last week because of vacation, or because I was stuck in a loop on vacation.  Who knows going to try to sleep again.

[Sceal]

I hope the painful feeling has passed. 

[sanmagic7]

i hope you got some sleep, tee, and that poopy ICr stands down and lets you alone!  thanks for sharing - i hope that helps let out some of the neg. stuff for you.  sending love and a hug filled w/ a pooper scooper.   

[Tee]

Thanks didn't sleep much still really struggling. 

So now I have two voices in my head. The really super over excited one because I have an interview with the hiring manager for the position I want Wednesday at 12.  And the ICr say don't be stupid they aren't going to pick you you're to messed up to working there. and round and round they go.  Pulling me in two me head is screaming.  Nothing good ever happens to me.  And Everytime it looks like it might horror ensues. Then I hit the wall and just want to crash into a real wall.

I am trying to stay positive and keep excited. I'll let you know how it goes.

[sanmagic7]

fingers crossed and prayers flying for you, tee.  a pox on that ICr!  i wish it would leave you alone.  best to you on wed.  hope it goes well and smoothly for you.  you are valuable, don't ever forget that!  love and hugs, sweetie.

[Sceal]

I think it is really important to keep nurturing that positive voice. Keep it loud inside of you, and shoo the inner critic down. You don't need that one right now. Tell it, you don't need it's help right now, you need it to support you and be positive.
My Lady T says that the inner critic comes from a place of wanting to protect ones self, it's just that it gets so loud, and so negative and so strong all to easily. And it is hard to let it know that right now, things are safe. you don't need it's protection in this case.

Fingers crossed for you, dear.

[Tee]

Thanks San and Sceal I'm trying to not let the darkness cave in. It just hard. Everytime something seems to be heading in the right direction for me there's always something really bad around around the corner this the ICr screaming don't get too excited isn't going to happen. my head feelings like a war zone. And I'm already trying to battle an EF.

Going to keeping hoping for this job though it's what would make so many other parts of my life a little easier.

[Not Alone]

I hope the inner battle calms down for you. Wishing you the best on Wednesday. Take a deep breath. Now another. Rooting for you.

[Blueberry]

I'm rooting for you too, Tee!

[Tee]

Thanks🤞

[Tee]

Well interview is over now I have to wait and see she said she has a couple other interviews and should make decision be the end of next week.

So who knows

[Not Alone]

Thanks for giving us an update. Glad the interview process is over. No matter what happens, you are precious. 

[Three Roses]

Fingers crossed for you! 🤞