My name is Justin and I have CPTSD

[ajvander86]

Hi everybody,

First of all, let me just say how ecstatic I am to have discovered what cptsd is and how it affects one who has it.  I have struggled my entire life with this, not knowing what it is, and actively reaching out to therapists, doctors, healers, guides, you name it to try to find out what was wrong with me and no one ever brought up ctpsd or even trauma as a possible issue.  Maybe when you're a child and you're going to a therapist it can be a little touchy for the therapist to pry to discover if there is any abuse going on in the home and so they tend to shy away from it.  I don't know.

At any rate, when I learned about out of the fog I said oh my God THAT'S what's going on with my mother.  AND the experiences of living with someone who has a personality disorder, in this case apparently my mother, nailed my experiences to a T also.  But I still didn't know about CPTSD until recently.

Someone mentioned cptsd online that I was talking to and I never heard of it, so I looked it up and couldn't believe my eyes.  I came to out of the storm and found some reading material and quickly learned more.  I read Pete Walker's book CPTSD from Surviving to Thriving and felt like for the first time someone was speaking directly to my emotional self.  I am so relieved after all these years to discover what I've suffered with, as well as happy to have the tools to be able to heal form it. 

I have a lot to post on this topic in conjunction with my own experiences, but I'll leave this here for now.  I am just relieved to know that I can heal, but that it is a life long process.  Also, I'm happy to learn that what happened to me during my upbringing was not my fault, and that I am not crazy. 

Blessings,

Justin

[AphoticAtramentous]

Hey there, Justin. It's so nice to hear you're feeling relieved from all this. I certainly felt relieved when I first started reading into CPTSD, feels good to be understood!
It's a pleasure to meet you and I hope to hear more of you. ^-^
Welcome to the forum!

[caseyjobs]

Hey Justin - welcome!  Glad you found this board - I found it recently myself and am grateful for its existence.  Also really starting to learn about / accept CPTSD as a name for this thing I got.  I still have yet to check out Out of The Fog, but intend on doing so to learn more about the FOO side of things.  Have a good one.

[ajvander86]

Hey there, Justin. It's so nice to hear you're feeling relieved from all this. I certainly felt relieved when I first started reading into CPTSD, feels good to be understood!
It's a pleasure to meet you and I hope to hear more of you. ^-^
Welcome to the forum!

Thanks, nice to meet you as well

[ajvander86]

Hey Justin - welcome!  Glad you found this board - I found it recently myself and am grateful for its existence.  Also really starting to learn about / accept CPTSD as a name for this thing I got.  I still have yet to check out Out of The Fog, but intend on doing so to learn more about the FOO side of things.  Have a good one.

I'm super pissed I have this I have to say, because it has interfered with so much of my life already, and from what I hear it's a lifelong condition that never quite goes away.  They say that you shouldn't blame your parents, but I've got a feeling whoever said that didn't have cptsd or anything similar.