Need input/ideas

[Three Roses]

Hello - I have a class coming up tomorrow, just a one day thing (but all day) and I won't know anyone there. I'm trying to take small steps, I thought I'd be able to do this, but I'm wracked with anxiety about it!

As a child I was terrified of everyone. I hit my teen years and over compensated and was brash, abrasive. As an adult I reached a good balance, at least to appearances - but now I seem to be back to how I felt as a child.

If anyone has any thoughts on this I'd love to hear them.

[joyful]

Three Roses,
I wish I had any advice, but I just want to tell you that was super brave of you to sign up even though you don't know anyone.
I don't know if this is helpful for you, but one thing I have to constantly remind myself of is that I am just as much of a person as everyone else.
Idk if that's what helpful at all, but good luck!

[Three Roses]

Yes, it's helpful!  I know the things I'm supposed to tell myself but for some reason it carries more weight when it comes from someone else. Thanks, joyful! 

[Kizzie]

If anything being here at OOTS has shown me there are lots of people IRL putting on a brave face so you are most likely not going to be the only one in the room who is experiencing anxiety.  That's great you are going in spite of feeling as you do and I do hope it ends up being a good experience   

[Wife#2]

One of the ways I am able to approach strangers and engage is to imagine I've met them before, but just forgot for a moment.

That lady in the corner over there, didn't she used to shop at the same store? Let me talk with her, I'll recognize the voice if so. It's a fib I tell myself to make it ok to talk to strangers. They're really not strangers, they're long lost co-workers or members of that church I used to attend. I'm just reconnecting.

The funny part is when the fib turns out to be true! Because I am lousy with names and only vaguely place familiar faces when they're out of context (we met at work, but this is the bowling alley), most who are acquaintances are used to me approaching with that 'you look familiar for some reason' look on my face.

Another way I break the ice with strangers is voicing the common thought. I'm the one who will say, 'Gee, that elevator is taking a long time.' Others nod and the friendly ones will answer. Voilà, a conversation is born! Or, to the person who's working hard to get the function to go well, 'I see how hard you're working. Thank you.' That always gets a smile from the worker and often will bring comments from eavesdroppers - who I can turn to and begin speaking - we now have something in common! We are both here and we both appreciate the efforts of others on our behalf.

Sure, I blush. Sure, I seem unsure of myself or whatever negative thing people may think in the short moment. But - the most true thing anyone ever told me is this - most people are way to self-absorbed to spend more than 5 minutes thinking about you, especially if they don't know you. So, those negative thoughts will be gone before they've unpacked or decided where to eat, whatever. You're free to move about as if they never had that negative thought.

I sincerely hope you're able to relax and enjoy the time.

[sanmagic7]

well, 3roses, i'm a little late to this party, and you're already doing your class.  i hope it went well, you learned something (maybe even about yourself), and you got through it basically intact.  kudos to you for walking thru that fear, for reaching out, and for doing something the prospect of which wasn't all that inviting.  warrior spirit!