Dalloway´s Recovery Journal

[Desert Flower]

Hey Dalloway, just wanted to say I'm with you and I can feel your sadness too. No we did not choose or make this road did we. Just this week, I was feeling like it might be pointless myself. It's a part of me that thinks that. But I read something today in BlueSky's journal: It's okay if we don't believe right now it will get better. That's okay.

That brought me some acceptance and relief somehow. Maybe it will help you too. If not, please disregard.

Just wanted to wish you well.
 

[Chart]

Hey Dalloway... yeah, I feel your sadness. It's such an integral part of Cptsd. The hopelessness had me firmly in its grasp this week. It's ebbed a little, but once more the reminder just how much this sucks. I loved your image of lilies... please know it's ok to float. There is no hollywood muscled hero who beats back Cptsd. The best most of the world can do is deny and dissociate. You're not doing that. The sadness is recognition, what the child needs to crawl out from beneath the bed. Do whatever you need now, Dalloway. Take the emptiness and make it sympathy for the one you were who faced that infinite injustice. You can't change the past, but you are no longer alone, here, now, in the present. I see you and validate your feelings. Dive as deep as you need, but know: love awaits you at the surface when you re-emerge, love in the form of beautiful lilies floating on all that sadness.