#8 - starting over

[Bach]

So glad to hear some better news from you, san! I continue to send love and good wishes 

[buddy9832]

Great news congrats San!

[Not Alone]

Congrats on meeting your deadline. Glad your husband is starting to feel better. That is encouraging. 

[sanmagic7]

snowdrop, love the encouragement - thanks

tee, looks like healing will have to take a back seat again.  my hub isn't doing well, sounded pretty bad tonite.  thanks for the encouragement

bach, thanks for the love and well wishes, much appreciated.

thanks, buddy.  unfortunately, it lasted about half a day, till i heard about the doc's report.  his lungs are filling up. 

hey, notalone, thank you.  too bad his feeling better didn't last very long.   

so, it's nearly 2 a.m., am filled with trepidation again.  he said he didn't sleep well last nite cuz his breathing was labored, he's on some corticolsteroid to help reduce the inflammation in his lungs, but he sounded quite ill tonite.   this is a terrible illness, and i hope no one else ever gets it, but the numbers are going up.  i'm sick in my heart.

thank you all for being with me as i go thru this.  we still have an extra round of proofreading to do, but i think between the 2 of us, we'll get it done in time.  the main manuscript is uploaded on time, and we have 3 days for corrections - there's always a punctuation mark or some small thing we miss the first 2-3 times thru., what with the changes that get made.  i don't know how much stamina i have left, tho.  my H's setback drained me again today.  lots of stress and tension in my body, and i feel pretty bad. 

[Tee]

  hugs hang in there San he'sa fighter's keep fighting with him. Here with you.

[Three Roses]

I want to give you some hope, San, and tell you my bro in law was sick with Covid-19 and has almost completely recovered now, although it took a while. He did feel as though he was near death at one point but pulled through. I'll join you in hoping for the best for your hubby. 

[sanmagic7]

yes, tee, he is a fighter, and my d and i are fighting right alongside him.  i could just tell he was scared, too, last nite, cuz he'd already mentioned in the beginning that he thought he'd be ok if it didn't get to his lungs.  neither of us have been kind to our lungs over the years.  gonna start a new book w/ him tonite - i know he's really been enjoying that.  he and i have leaned on each other for nearly 20 yrs., and we're not letting distance tear that apart.  thank you for being with me - so appreciated, i don't have words.

thanks for the hope, 3r.  i know, and so does he, people who have come back from this, as well as people who haven't.  i'm spending a lot of time praying, sending him music videos - music is part of his soul - and checking in w/ him.  glad to have you by my side.  i've never consistently cried over something in my life, no matter what it was.  the sadness that he has to go thru this, be scared by it, is suffering mental and well as physical pain just breaks my heart, and overflows.  i just can't hold it in.  my eyes keep leaking.

[Snowdrop]

Here with you, San. We all are. Sending you all love and hugs of support.

[Not Alone]

Let your eyes "leak." Covid in Mexico was in today's newspaper. Prayed for both of you.

[Tee]

  let your eyes leak it's scary times it will let you be stronger for him when your talking with him.  Here with you hugs.

[sanmagic7]

snowdrop, i'm squeezing every last ounce of love and support being sent - it's really helping me stay afloat.  thank you so much.

yeah, notalone, covid in mexico is not a good thing.  he's struggling with getting enough good meds, and the ones that are better than he's being offered are too expensive.  their health ins. sucks down there - i know that from experience!  he was offered 3 injections thru his ins. of the steroids to break up the inflammation in his lungs, had to buy 2 more on his own.  the radiologist didn't have the right equipment or something to do an x-ray, so he's been waiting 2 days now - hopefully today.  then the doc can at least see what we're dealing with. 

happily, he has a lot of friends that are helping him out.  i'm so grateful for that.  we sent him some money to make sure he could pay his elec. bill so he could keep his a/c running - he said it was over 120 there yesterday.  it's not ideal to be sick in mexico, unless you have a lot of money - then you go to the states to get taken care of!  thanks for the prayers, too.   

hey, tee, i think you're right.  i've been able to hold it together pretty well while talking to him at nite, even tho i'm hearing him cough, struggle to breathe right.  i know he's scared - his bravado is gone, his personality is really down.  leaking right now thinking about it.  i so appreciate you, your hugs and support as i'm going thru this.  it means the world.

honestly, i check here every day, and i see support from you wonderful people, and it helps lift me, gives me strength to get thru another day, and the energy you're all sending is keeping my head above water, too.  my d and i are now doing the last 2 rounds of proofreading, they have to be done tomorrow - yeah, another deadline!  this author stuff has lots of them! - so the support and energy you're all providing me with is helping me be able to think, focus, and concentrate as well.  i don't have enough words for my gratitude towards you.  thanks ever so!   

[Tee]

  you can do it  I big hug of encouragement. 

[Bach]

Still here and thinking of you and your family, san, and still sending love and prayers. 

[sanmagic7]

tee, thanks for all your support - i'm leaning on it heavily right now

bach, thank you for your love and prayers - they're really helping.

he's getting worse, the x-ray guy still didn't get the plates he needs, so my hub has been going out every day to find him and find this out.  they don't use phones down there the same way we use them - it's so much driving to offices or homes to find the people you need to see.  he didn't want to laugh last nite cuz it starts him coughing and it now hurts to cough.  that broke my heart again cuz making each other laugh, laughing together was always a good thing.

i'm in the final countdown of this proofreading, and am finding it difficult to stay on task.  thoughts of him keep floating in, and i'll finish passages that i have no idea what they contained, have to read them over.  i should be finished in about an hour, but if my d has questions on something i highlighted, i'll still have to get my brain together to think on it. 

a friend of my d's who works in a hospital asked why he wasn't intubated and in a hosp. if he's having problems breathing.  i guess that's not how they do it down there.  besides, the hosp. it 125 mi. away, and he has no car that will make the trip.  she was shocked to find out he was still at home.  plus, he was hit by polio at 3, and lived in hospitals too many years as a kid where he didn't know the language and was in a foster home in the states.  i don't think he wants to go to one unless there's no other option.

ugh!  just one more hour to hang on, and this book stuff will be mostly done for me.  i've already spent a good portion of this morning crying.  leaking it out, as has been recommended, so it doesn't come out when i'm talking to him.  it's so frustrating, the lack of care down there, so different from here.  i hate it!

[Not Alone]