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Messages - jay5r

#1
Physical Issues / CPTSD -> Hypertension -> Stroke
February 12, 2024, 05:09:32 PM
A new study came out that being diagnosed with hypertension before the age of 35 leads to triple the risk of stroke (double the risk if diagnosed 35-44).

https://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/hypertension-before-35-tied-triple-stroke-risk-midlife-2024a10002bn

The study only looked at African American women. In the discussion of the findings they noted...
Quote/...one of the contributing factors that may increase the risk for Black women is their disproportionate experience of psychosocial stressors and chronic cumulative stress.

"Psychosocial stressors and chronic cumulative stress" (at a relatively young age) is pretty much the definition of having CPTSD or being at high risk for it.

I'm a white guy, but it all fits for me... And unfortunately I had a stroke last year (age 55).

If you have CPTSD plus other risk factors for stroke (family history, etc.) definitely look into ways you can reduce your stroke risk. Even minor strokes can result in long-term problems.

[And yes, there are other studies that have shown a relationship between PTSD and stroke, but many of those studies are with people in the military - so "regular" PTSD, not CPTSD. Those studies have shown a much lower correlation in the neighborhood of 136% relative risk instead of 300%. It's notable that CPTSD type scenarios are associated with much worse outcomes.]

And... the Medscape article makes it sound like the full article / study details should be available soon - after it's presented at a conference.
#2
Thanks for your replies...

@kizzie - I have zero problem talking about topics that don't have an emotional element - even in front of groups. But the moment something with an emotional component comes into the conversation I get choked up. For example I lead a bike tour of the Old Croton Aqueduct explaining the history as we rode the route. I was fine talking about how the old reservoir in Central Park turned into NYC's "Hooverville", but a moment later I had difficulty talking about how the aqueduct went through a part of Central Park that, at the time the aqueduct was built, was a neighborhood of former slaves. Slavery is just more of an emotional topic for me than poverty & homelessness.

@rainydiary - I do quite a bit of texting, etc. But there are moments when I need to / want to talk.

@Bermuda - Sounds like you've experienced what I'm talking about. When it happens to me I usually jump to something non-emotional and pretend the incident didn't happen, or if they make note of it, I try to downplay it with comments like "Oh, it's nothing - I get choked up sometimes." Basically I try to get across that they don't need to worry about it, and I don't really want to discuss it. It's awkward - as you know - but yeah, most acquaintances don't want to think/worry about stuff like that. Clearing my throat is an interesting thing to add. I'll have to try that and see if it works for me.
#3
I have something of a growing problem with getting choked up (e.g. "verklempt") when talking talking or thinking about the simplest things. Pretty much anything with an emotional component can trigger it which is really awkward socially. My best friends are kinda used to it and just ignore it (which is helpful). But when I'm talking to people I don't know so well it's awkward for both of us since they don't know how to respond (I'm a beefy 6' guy - so it's not behavior anyone expects from me). And it hits suddenly in mid-sentence - so it's not like I can easily avoid it. About all I can do is pause really briefly, try to quickly suppress the emotion, and carry on by speaking slowly and deliberately - but my voice will waiver a bit which gives away the problem.

In a way I think this problem is better than the previous one - where years ago I was completely detached from my emotions. I was pretty locked down and compartmentalized. I get the sense this is happening now because I finally feel safe with my situation and so it's safe to explore/experience feelings I once suppressed. It's no big deal with I'm alone - it feels like a long process of "getting it out", but there are times when I need to be able to handle the emotion better.

Have any of you experienced something similar? How do you manage those situations?
#4
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Re: Hello.
August 20, 2021, 05:04:14 PM
Papa Coco - thanks for your reply. You clearly saw the first (much longer) version of my intro - which is fine. I just didn't feel comfortable leaving that much detail up posted in a semi-public place. I have the text saved, if that changes...

I'll check out the book and blog you referenced.

Thanks again.
#5
My situation is completely different (gay son of very homophobic parents), but I came across something at one point that helped me come to a point of resolution with them. A lot of articles on forgiveness say (or imply) that until the relationship is healed you haven't fully forgiven the person - that you still have work to do. But what if the offender can't or won't change their behavior? The article I found back then (I wish I could find it now) basically said forgiveness is you forgiving them, just because they're not doing their part in the healing process doesn't mean you haven't forgiven them. Once you've given them adequate opportunities to change, you're allowed to do what's best for you. You can still feel hurt, but if your anger is gone and you just let them be themselves, then you've forgiven them.

In my case I walked away. The homophobia of my parents cut too deep. There were too many years of conditioning telling me to care about what they thought of me. Once I realized they probably would never change and the relationship was harming me, I just quietly ghosted. Years later when my father was dying my sisters didn't understand why I didn't want to come to visit him. They told me it was time to forgive him - that I'd regret it if I didn't make peace with him. My response was that the moment I let go of the anger and walked away was when I had fully forgiven him. I still felt hurt, but I was at peace with the situation. I didn't need to do more. If he had asked me to come, I would have, but he didn't.

It sounds like you still have a fair amount of interaction with your parents. It also sounds like you've tried to understand why they did what they did which is part of accepting them for who they are. If you've explained to them how their actions harmed you and continue to harm you and (after some time) they can't or won't change, then you need to figure out what's best for you. But once the anger is gone, you have accepted/forgiven them - your forgiveness work is done at that point.

Apparently my grandfather used to tell my grandmother "Float above it Bertha, just float above it" when she was frustrated with something. To me the goal is to be able to at peace with situations like these to the point that you can just "float above it" and not have it harm you. One of my sisters is brilliant at it. I'm not. If you find you can't float above it, if it continues to harm you, then do what you need to do to protect yourself. Caring for yourself comes first in cases like these (most of the time).
#6
Please Introduce Yourself Here / Hello.
August 20, 2021, 02:31:16 PM
The first version of this post was far too much information ;)

Let's just say I've gone through a bunch of stuff and it all built up over the years. My attempts to get back on track have gotten progressively more difficult the last few years after an assault where I kept having to deal with the factors that were part of the assault afterwards. So I came to realize I was probably dealing with PTSD, not just depression that I could pull myself out of. When I came across discussion of CPTSD I realized what I was experiencing was probably the cumulative product of lots of things that have happened over the years.

I've resisted meds because I wanted to feel things to help me understand what was going on. And haven't seen a therapist in a long while. Not opposed to it, just not sure how much it will help. Hopefully what I read on here will help me understand better.