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this morning I experienced a flashback well i think it was I felt panicky upset depressed a bit dissociated and completely cut off, the way i felt this morning really frightened me,, I was so extremely upset.. so I forced myself to do some yoga for anxiety and depression after,, it helped a little at the time.. and then i proceeded to have a shower and while I was in the shower I was telling myself that I was safe and that my parts were safe and that all we were doing was washing my body and I was trying to focus on the moment
then after again not long after I noticed I felt really bad again and now I am not sure what is one meant to do when they try and try they do the things there therapist suggests.. and they still feel bad.. what is a person meant to do
I then had to spend time with my niece and nephew as they had come down,,.. again a little hard as I kept feeling a little sad due to my childhood and my little parts
I have just had a angry outburst shouting raising my voice in complete anger at what I have to keep dealing with
while I was doing this I felt like I was doing something wrong
I have been in emotional pain again since my nephew left feeling like a little upset child
then I suddenly felt really angry at life.. I am highly pained by this whole existence and even therapy is starting to feel like too much because in between therapy i have to deal with all these emotions and all these things all by myself and today it has felt like too much
what is a person meant to do

So just wanted to write that I have been feeling quite unwanted recently in general. I reached out to a old friend the other day about a week ago I thought they might have changed or try a bit more.. they were nice to me a little the other day asking me a few questions. then two days ago out of the blue did they send me a text saying not to text them again and that I was dead to them, I then instantly felt like they were messing with my feelings. because one minute they were nice the next they were not. Then yesterday they called me a waste of space. I just am really hurt by this. I struggle alot with trusting people. I sometimes feel like everyone will hurt me or be wierd with me.. even those I get close to or those I open up to. I never felt liked enough at school, had bits of bullying, and well in general I just feel like there is something wrong with me. I also felt instantly uncared for when I received these messages and my emotions completely changed in a instant. I have abandonment issues and they were really triggered again by this. I also never feel that I am good enough for people to stay. I just wonder sometimes why it is I get hurt so much by people. I had another friendship before this upset me too. I am a nice person all I want is friends. How do you trust people when people keep hurting you

Hi I am new here
in need of some support
complex trauma in adulthood been through so so much
also childhood neglect
kind individual who is just extremely pained and confused about life

New here and wanted to say hello
been majorly triggered this evening by someones behaviour
so could use some support
i been through loads of trauma complex trauma and also childhood neglect.
i am currently in trauma therapy and really having a very difficult time
it never feels that anything is easy
i am a kind person. likes yoga and reading, singing and music. and films and anime