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Yes it can feel trapping. It is good that you can get out. you see i struggle to get out much and i feel very very isolated. my symptoms and my mental illness really isnt helping my confidence to do barely anything outside.
Today has been extremely hard aswell I think I had another flashback earlier
I had to talk to the parts of myself on paper earlier and I think I realised some of why I was feeling the way I was
but because i have all these different parts of myself, sometimes the small parts say I dont want to help myself I dont want to do therapy
Today has been a really bad day again for half of it lots and lots of crying too much
Is it good to take breaks from therapy? Does that help some people?
sometimes I feel like therapy is pointless and it is too difficult and frustrating and taking way too long, and  sometimes working on the memories can be a bit too scary, as I noticed this week I havent been feeling as stable a bit all over the place
thanks Milk for taking the time to comment

this morning I experienced a flashback well i think it was I felt panicky upset depressed a bit dissociated and completely cut off, the way i felt this morning really frightened me,, I was so extremely upset.. so I forced myself to do some yoga for anxiety and depression after,, it helped a little at the time.. and then i proceeded to have a shower and while I was in the shower I was telling myself that I was safe and that my parts were safe and that all we were doing was washing my body and I was trying to focus on the moment
then after again not long after I noticed I felt really bad again and now I am not sure what is one meant to do when they try and try they do the things there therapist suggests.. and they still feel bad.. what is a person meant to do
I then had to spend time with my niece and nephew as they had come down,,.. again a little hard as I kept feeling a little sad due to my childhood and my little parts
I have just had a angry outburst shouting raising my voice in complete anger at what I have to keep dealing with
while I was doing this I felt like I was doing something wrong
I have been in emotional pain again since my nephew left feeling like a little upset child
then I suddenly felt really angry at life.. I am highly pained by this whole existence and even therapy is starting to feel like too much because in between therapy i have to deal with all these emotions and all these things all by myself and today it has felt like too much
what is a person meant to do

So just wanted to write that I have been feeling quite unwanted recently in general. I reached out to a old friend the other day about a week ago I thought they might have changed or try a bit more.. they were nice to me a little the other day asking me a few questions. then two days ago out of the blue did they send me a text saying not to text them again and that I was dead to them, I then instantly felt like they were messing with my feelings. because one minute they were nice the next they were not. Then yesterday they called me a waste of space. I just am really hurt by this. I struggle alot with trusting people. I sometimes feel like everyone will hurt me or be wierd with me.. even those I get close to or those I open up to. I never felt liked enough at school, had bits of bullying, and well in general I just feel like there is something wrong with me. I also felt instantly uncared for when I received these messages and my emotions completely changed in a instant. I have abandonment issues and they were really triggered again by this. I also never feel that I am good enough for people to stay. I just wonder sometimes why it is I get hurt so much by people. I had another friendship before this upset me too. I am a nice person all I want is friends. How do you trust people when people keep hurting you

thanks you very much for your positive thoughts and the smiles

this was a old friend who i hadne been friends with for a year. because it went wrong and it was somewhat partly abusive emotionally abusive friendship. so i got triggered for a number of reasons. he messaged me saying that i was dead to him and not to message again despite him being nice a few days ago
i also had another abusive friendship a few years ago which was emotionally abusive but was worse than that one.
i just am dealign with so much in regards to my trauma recovery, my mental illness, and things i been through that makes no sense
and i was only being nice, i thought maybe they would change
so yes i got triggered my mood went to completely depressed and anxious and i felt like i deserved nothing good ever as it constantly feels like constant rubbish
i also have abandonment issues
I also feel I may have a dissociative identity disorder aswell though not diagnosed
and things are so difficult and i find things to be so lonely
i only reached out to him as i still cared
just felt like my feelings were being messed with again
yes i do self soothe sometimes
but this time I didnt i got angry and i felt like a abused bit of rubbish
thankyou for your comments

Hi thankyou
I didnt really know what to say for a introduction
Spent most the evening upset
was triggered by a old friend i reached out to who was nice to me the other day and then today messaged me saying something unkind

Hi I am new here
in need of some support
complex trauma in adulthood been through so so much
also childhood neglect
kind individual who is just extremely pained and confused about life

New here and wanted to say hello
been majorly triggered this evening by someones behaviour
so could use some support
i been through loads of trauma complex trauma and also childhood neglect.
i am currently in trauma therapy and really having a very difficult time
it never feels that anything is easy
i am a kind person. likes yoga and reading, singing and music. and films and anime