Hello everyone,
I'm new here and recently diagnosed. Well, if you can consider a year-and-half ago recent, but I'm still on sick leave from work and still coming to terms with my C-PTSD in the aftermath of a spectacular traumatic event that finally dropped me like a stone (until then I was in a perpetual "don't think about bad stuff" survival mode cycle).
I'm at a loss how to deal with the question "how are you?". It is simultaneously a trigger and something I crave, as my trauma springs from neglect, voicelessness and psychological abuse in which I was repeatedly ignored and denied help in those rare times I dared ask or spoke my truth. Since my diagnosis and time with a therapist, I've come to understand I have repressed anger at always being the nurturer and am like a magnet for narcissists. I just don't trust anyone anymore, as telling my truth has either caused anger on their part with gaslighting the most popular tool to shut me up, or I've had insinuated and actual threats against me. Or if harmless, then the supposed friend, colleague or family member does not care at all about what I do say or reveal. I'm weary of putting on the fake smile and the empty "Fine, thanks, how are you?" routine. This is so hard when I'm in a really bad way and need emotional support.
How do others juggle this?
Thanks,
Autumn.
I'm new here and recently diagnosed. Well, if you can consider a year-and-half ago recent, but I'm still on sick leave from work and still coming to terms with my C-PTSD in the aftermath of a spectacular traumatic event that finally dropped me like a stone (until then I was in a perpetual "don't think about bad stuff" survival mode cycle).
I'm at a loss how to deal with the question "how are you?". It is simultaneously a trigger and something I crave, as my trauma springs from neglect, voicelessness and psychological abuse in which I was repeatedly ignored and denied help in those rare times I dared ask or spoke my truth. Since my diagnosis and time with a therapist, I've come to understand I have repressed anger at always being the nurturer and am like a magnet for narcissists. I just don't trust anyone anymore, as telling my truth has either caused anger on their part with gaslighting the most popular tool to shut me up, or I've had insinuated and actual threats against me. Or if harmless, then the supposed friend, colleague or family member does not care at all about what I do say or reveal. I'm weary of putting on the fake smile and the empty "Fine, thanks, how are you?" routine. This is so hard when I'm in a really bad way and need emotional support.
How do others juggle this?
Thanks,
Autumn.