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Sending you a big hug too San as you cry out what you need to. I'm sorry it's so hard to realise what we missed. And it is part of healing to do so. I'm really proud of you.

 

I'm very impressed with both of you SO and Chart, well done! Yes, you are definitely going places!   

Thank you everyone who contributed to this thread. It is helping me to make sense of what I am right in the middle of.

 

 

I'm right here with you too Chart. Well done for all your hard work and recognising. 

I'm really glad you found a safe and kind therapist, that is great! It's worth a lot imo. 

 

No, it does not sound small at all em87 (apologies for calling you Saluki due to the ladybug), it sounds really bad. And I'm really sorry that happened to you. My heart goes out to you. Sending you lots of warmth and love and all that you need.

 

Thank you dear friends, I do appreciate your responses and comments but I do not feel I have the capacity to write on the Forum atm.

 

Hi dear San, I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and I hope you are okay, but it is not within my capacity to read or respond on the Forum atm.

 

Hi San, I hope you can take it easy now with the stress flu, not suprising that came up maybe, but still very annoying and rough. And wait till that wears off again. I'm still right here with you. Take care dear San.

 

Conversation with company doctor was very supportive. I was able to get across that this is long term. He will not be expecting me back at work any time soon.

He said I do not have to change myself, but change the way my life is organised so it will fit me better.

And, food for (lots and lots of) thought: he thinks I have Autism Spectrum Disorder. Very interesting. My mind is working over time now. Something to discuss with the psychiatrist in a few weeks.

For now, try to keep calm and carry on ...

Very well done San, even if that results in not having found the right therapist yet. It's very important we let people know how we feel, that's therapeutic in itself imo.

So



and



some more.

I am so with you on that

And thank you for that too NK! Made me smile.

I was now in a position of being told to be jealous and at the same time not jealous.

I sounds to me like your M 'knew' you would be jealous (which might actually say more about her than about you, but I'll leave that aside) and what was actually implied was for you to not feel it. Maybe, as far as she was concerned, it would be okay for you to 'be' jealous (or any emotion), as long as you did't feel it, or if at least you didn't show you felt it. If that makes any sense. At least, that is how I relate to this. And I can certainly see how that would be very confusing. And that would also make it hard now to know what you feel at all.

 

Hey Dalloway, just wanted to say I'm with you and I can feel your sadness too. No we did not choose or make this road did we. Just this week, I was feeling like it might be pointless myself. It's a part of me that thinks that. But I read something today in BlueSky's journal: It's okay if we don't believe right now it will get better. That's okay.

That brought me some acceptance and relief somehow. Maybe it will help you too. If not, please disregard.

Just wanted to wish you well.