I am so tired of being triggered
It's low level, but I am really exhausted with trying to be the bigger person. Sometimes, I feel so angry I just want to let people have it.
My brother in law is coercive. It's my partner's family and they have a culture of not talking about anything. I think my sister in law is really hoodwinked. He really shouted my partner down on her own mother's health. When she tried to walk away he grabbed her by her arms and has reframed it as a hug. No apology - of course.
I don't understand why the rest of the family are continuing to try to make nice with him - apart from well worn codependency. It's totally unacceptable. The downplaying of things makes me feel furious and unsafe. I don't understand why people play this stuff out. It's so clearly abusive in his case.
The more they drop little comments about how 'nice' he is the more worried I am. Why the constant charm offensive?
Any tips? I have gone NC with people in the past when my boundaries have been repeatedly broken, but that doesn't feel like a healthy response here. My body is pretty loud about getting as far away from him as possible.
I need to observe a mourning period before I can address this directly - if that is the right thing to do.
I feel unsure and frustrated! All wisdom welcome, lovely folk.
It's low level, but I am really exhausted with trying to be the bigger person. Sometimes, I feel so angry I just want to let people have it.
My brother in law is coercive. It's my partner's family and they have a culture of not talking about anything. I think my sister in law is really hoodwinked. He really shouted my partner down on her own mother's health. When she tried to walk away he grabbed her by her arms and has reframed it as a hug. No apology - of course.
I don't understand why the rest of the family are continuing to try to make nice with him - apart from well worn codependency. It's totally unacceptable. The downplaying of things makes me feel furious and unsafe. I don't understand why people play this stuff out. It's so clearly abusive in his case.
The more they drop little comments about how 'nice' he is the more worried I am. Why the constant charm offensive?
Any tips? I have gone NC with people in the past when my boundaries have been repeatedly broken, but that doesn't feel like a healthy response here. My body is pretty loud about getting as far away from him as possible.
I need to observe a mourning period before I can address this directly - if that is the right thing to do.
I feel unsure and frustrated! All wisdom welcome, lovely folk.