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I am so tired of being triggered

It's low level, but I am really exhausted with trying to be the bigger person. Sometimes, I feel so angry I just want to let people have it.

My brother in law is coercive. It's my partner's family and they have a culture of not talking about anything. I think my sister in law is really hoodwinked. He really shouted my partner down on her own mother's health. When she tried to walk away he grabbed her by her arms and has reframed it as a hug. No apology - of course.

I don't understand why the rest of the family are continuing to try to make nice with him - apart from well worn codependency. It's totally unacceptable. The downplaying of things makes me feel furious and unsafe. I don't understand why people play this stuff out. It's so clearly abusive in his case.

The more they drop little comments about how 'nice' he is the more worried I am. Why the constant charm offensive?

Any tips? I have gone NC with people in the past when my boundaries have been repeatedly broken, but that doesn't feel like a healthy response here. My body is pretty loud about getting as far away from him as possible.

I need to observe a mourning period before I can address this directly - if that is the right thing to do.

I feel unsure and frustrated! All wisdom welcome, lovely folk.

TW: abuse & stalking

Ok so.

I have C-PTSD from my first 18 years of life. I have been in therapy for over a decade, but only just realised after a recent episode of blind terror for several weeks. I'm told it is a sign of progress... 😒

My partner's ex is obsessed with her. She messages her after being asked not to, and continues to volunteer with her company. I tried to negotiate my own boundary with her directly last year, but she just kicked off. She was monitoring my social media so I've deleted that.

Now she is doing it much less (but still present). She does it always as just being nice which makes it hard to challenge. My partner ignores her.

The problem is it has been going on for a year, and so now has become a trigger. She reminds me very much of my parents & doesn't seem to understand no. Tonight i had a panic attack after her latest attempt.

My partner is unwilling to do more. I imagine she thinks it would make it worse, but I am so triggered. How the * do i manage this fear? I can't stay with my partner & get away from this woman.

All advice welcome

Hi there all

Glad to have found you. I am just stabilising after a third depressive episode. Finally realised i'm not just a bit depressed or anxious sometimes. I have C-PTSD. I'm working on accepting that.

I've been in therapy for over 10 years. I can tell you all the reasons I am the way I am, but I still haven't processed the trauma of the first 18 years of my life... a catalogue of small to large abuses at the hands of most of the adults who were supposed to be my caretakers.

Mostly, I am exhausted. Tired of feeling ashamed & broken. Tired of the gloom & fear. I want to be determined to heal, but I'm not. I just feel burnt out.

So, I guess I am here looking for hope.

Sending healing wishes to you all.