Is is a personal journey??

[Artist]

I apologize in advance for what may be perceived as a negative attitude at the seeming shortcoming of the helping institutions of humanity to discover a means by which a sufferer of PTSD may move past the diagnosis and into the richness of life more effectually. My opinions are my own too. My trauma experiences go back to before I can remember and then more which I can remember.
I'm within the spectrum of causes: Chronic parental neglect, emotional and physical abuse, sexual abuse. I have the intellectual understanding of all of it, and I have felt deeply the pain and intense feelings stored in my body from these experiences in my efforts to move the trauma out of my emotional cache. I've done everything from psychotherapy to meditation and Eastern Wisdom Practices, starting back in my late twenties.
I'm not here to complain or accept some inevitability of a condition that perhaps is not as well understood in it's treatment as it could be. I think it can be very individual and require a lifelong dedication to moving past it. Yet I also think it is a doorway to personal growth and finding a deeper experience to life- I didn't always see trauma that way.
I'm here to share my experience with what I have done in my efforts to move past it. I'm 60 and am currently dealing with chronic depression associated with the processing of these early traumatic experiences. I have tried many types of non-drug and drug therapies including Anti-depressant therapy, which I do not advocate based on my own experiences on the drugs and the dysfunctions they caused me; that coupled with a pharmaceutical industry who could genuinely care less about helping because their efforts are wholly profit driven. My view on Anti-D's is also associated with reading the experiences of people who unknowingly got on them and are now trying desperately to come off them. But enough of that I'm not waving that flag here in introductions ( I have a lot to share and caution there.) My journey is about moving beyond the traumas without drug therapy going on three years now.
I hope that I may contribute something meaningful to this group and may learn from those here who share their experiences.
Thanks to the moderators and posters!
Peace on your Path!
Mark

[Three Roses]

Hello and welcome! It certainly is a personal journey. Anti depressants have literally saved my life but I hear a lot of horror stories about them, too. A personal choice, an individual decision.

May I say, though, that this is not a support forum for PTSD, but rather CPTSD - and although the C may stand for "complex", around here we view it as cumulative. (Our website's creator ran a poll to see how we all felt about the name "complex post traumatic disorder" and what she came up with was that we all thought Cumulative Traumatic Stress Injury was more accurate.)

Based on what you've stated I'd bet you are a candidate for CPTSD. Very different beast, and needs treatment specific to it.

But anyhoo - glad you're here, thanks for joining.

[Dee]

Welcome.

I also feel like my medications have helped me immensely, though it was a difficult road to finding the right ones.  Still, they are not for everyone.

It does sound like you belong here and I look forward to having you as a member of our forum.

[Fen Starshimmer]

Hi Artist and welcome to OOTS!
I am sorry to hear you suffered so much in your childhood. Many of us will relate to that kind of wounding (including me). It's the buried traumatic memories that can be the hardest to heal, that can be the cause of so much seemingly incomprehensible misery. It sounds like you have lots to share with us and that's wonderful. I am of the same school of thought regarding the pharmaceutical industry, and the enormous harm they are causing people in the name of profit. I too am aware of horror stories. I am also aware that some people have benefited from pharma's drugs eg antidepressants, sedatives, painkillers, as mentioned by some members of OOTS, but I am also acutely aware that there are safe, natural alternatives which are being suppressed, banned even, with governments coming under enormous industry pressure to do so.

My recovery journey has consequently been self-directed, leaning on natural therapies for support. For many years, before I had even heard of PTSD or CPTSD, I used alcohol as a kind of sedative, to allow me to function in highly triggering environments, where horrendous flashbacks were common. I hated it, loathed the way I was poisoning my body, but thought there was no other way. I have since managed to move out of that. I am very health conscious and my life is totally focused around a natural lifestyle, meditation, wholefoods, peaceful location, no triggers, no abusive people etc.

I think it can be very individual and require a lifelong dedication to moving past it. Yet I also think it is a doorway to personal growth and finding a deeper experience to life- I didn't always see trauma that way.

This I feel is the upside of CPTSD; the silver lining. The personal growth potential is huge if you are open to it. And yes, life can be experienced more deeply, in a beautiful enriching way. This has been my experience too. So, in a way, trauma can bring unexpected blessings. Life has meaning for each of us, it's just that it can take a while to find it through the fog and pain of trauma. But when we start to feel our way there, it can be so rewarding.

Oops, sorry I have rambled on a bit there. No lecture intended.   

[Kizzie]

Welcome to OOTS Artist      I have to agree with Three Roses, it may be you have Complex PTSD versus PTSD.   Regardless it sounds like you are determined to move out of being stuck in the trauma you experienced and that's all good, we are focused on recovery here to be sure     

You are welcome to share your experiences with a non-medicated approach, but would ask that you do just that - share.  There are those of us as you have seen in the responses to your post already who have found medication to be helpful even necessary and life saving (myself included), and others who like you are trying a more naturalistic approach.  In the end, we each have to find what works for us individually and as such, we ask that members steer away from advising others what they should/should not do - see our Member Guidelines here .

Thanks and again, welcome to the community - glad you found your way here.

Kizzie

[andreeya]

Artist,

It is a personal journey that can be shared.  Im an artist myself and one way to help me cope is by doing art.Telling my story through it.  I was on lorasapam three years ago. Gettig off it was a bit rough.  I dont advise any one to get on anything that is addictive.  I personally dont believe  for myself that you are really healing yourself this way. Just covering these up.  I suppose I do that with paint but that's a different story. 

        I find that projects and fun productive thigns to do is really helpful for me. I also think reaching out to people is so important. I say this because ive been isolated myself and allowed myself to feel helpless when there has been no reason for it.

      I like what you had to say, very honest and forth right.  Glad youre here. Andreeya