Being honest

[Blueberry]

I feel like being honest today, like in a 12 Step group. Tell it like it is. Yes, I've been making progress bit by bit over the last while, and yes, today I made further progress. But still I feel i could be doing more. Step by step.

I honestly find it hard to keep going, day after day, year after year. I know some healing seems to just come by magic so to speak, once I've put it up on the Screen in T or at home, but other healing - well, I have to work at it. For that to work, I need to want to work at it. To believe that all these little steps will lead to an improved whole. An improved me? I know we're meant to believe that we're just humans and we're imperfect (as humans are) but still valuable and even lovable (yikes), but I still think there is quite a lot of amending to do in my life.

What with addictions and compulsive behaviour and depression I've developed quite a few unhealthy, non-useful traits. Like procrastinating. Sometimes that has its place; for some activities, impulses and plans, it genuinely is too early.

I also like to read a lot, like on here, but also on even less beneficial sites. But at some point - as is even in the Guidelines - it's good to step away and start and/or continue putting ideas into practice in everyday life. NTS. 

[Blueberry]

Another piece of honesty: I'm eating pretty unhealthily atm and I can't make myself care. I know I 'should' care, but 'shoulds' don't work for me. Oha, yes, just at the mention of 'should' M crops up in my mind. No wonder the word and concept isn't too helpful.

[Rainagain]

I think we are all on here doing the best we can under difficult circumstances. We can only do our best, and we do.
We should be proud of ourselves, but we aren't.
Its not remotely logical, it just is.
Be gentle with yourself, and just keep travelling in the same direction, its not a race, more like a pilgrimage with a heavy rucksack and unsuitable footwear.

[Blueberry]

more like a pilgrimage with a heavy rucksack and unsuitable footwear.

Nice imagery. I chuckle. Chuckling is good, apparently. when corners of mouth move up towards ears, it sends helpful signals to brain.

I allowed myself to stay in bed half the day instead of saying: you must, you should etc. so that was gentle towards self.

Thx for reminder. 

[Rainagain]

Pleased to have helped a little.

It is a real slog, I've actually been thinking of doing the Compostela pilgrimage for a few years.

I'm a total atheist but wondered if mirroring my internal slog by physically slogging over mountains would synch mind and body back together somehow.

I'd probably get mugged.....

[Shankara]

Hello Blueberry

being honest: My T asked me to work on the inner circle...Not doing it. Yoga ....Just every 3rd Day. Daily would be more helpful. Still struggeling with feeling weak but not Doing anything


Cant someone adopt me? Train me? So now my inner critic says, you are needy.

[Combine59]

Those inner critics are lethal! Affirmations have helped me. It's an uphill slog, but sometimes I'm able to see things a bit clearer and realize I do feel a lot better now than I used to. Do something kind for yourself. Look at someth8 g beautiful, laugh, dance, whatever it takes.

[fighter]

Cant someone adopt me? Train me? So now my inner critic says, you are needy.

I hear you, @Shankara!