Can't sleep so going through emails to organize..

Started by barbidoll, October 19, 2017, 10:32:22 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

barbidoll

Please forgive my frequent posts.
So I am been looking through old emails to figure out how to present it. I have kind of just saved and pushed them to the back of my mind. Anyway I am not even through 2010 and my head is spinning. There are his usual threats of court. Accusations that I got a restraining order against him fraudulantly. Threats to have child support modified which again he claimd is fraudulant. Him talking abouy his pain while I was pregnant. Lots of emails about his job situation which at times was nonexistant. Job complaints. References to the night I left in which he minimizes what happened. He keeps saying that we need to talj about his job situation our breakup. He says he won't pay child support through registry due to his job situation. At another poiny he claims he will once he has steady income. I think I might have one from this past year where he putd thr blame on that on me. Brings up cost of storage which I had given up on since he wad being difficult about . Anyway the ones that stopped me was one day he asks me for money to go visit his sick mom. In that email he included forwards about conversations about his mom. In one of those he calls me a dingbat, a b**ch, and says I have psychotic thinking. Oh and he sayd somryhing about me needing to grow a heart.  Two days after that he emails me he is back from visiting mom. No I did not give him money for this. Anyway this email he says he will be sending child support after he gets his check the next day. The day after he emails me asking about out son. Says child support is in the mail. i did not answer that. I had just replied to his email for money three days before this and still was processing the insulting of me to his family. Three days later he emails me demanding a response and copies his family members. This I did respond. In his reponse to that he brings up the breakup again, my daughter, the restraining order, and again says we need to sit down and talk.  I realize now there are probably plenty of instances where I should called the police because of the restraining order. I thought I was dealing okay with him looking at them now I don't think I was. This guys reality does not seem to match actual reality. 
Anybody know how to organize stuff like this? I am not sure how. It's creepy though because it seems like while he is harassing me and abusing me he is still thinking we can patch things up.   :stars:

Sceal

What do you mean organize?

If I were you, I'd print out all the e-mails and give them to your lawyer or to the police to deal with. Then block him.
He is harrassing you, trying to manipulate you and belittle you. It's not okay. It's far from okay - and it needs to stop.

A friend of mine went through some similar, although there were no children involved. His ex girlfriend broke up with him, and has for the past 11 months harrassed him, demanded they get back together. Telling him how he truly feels, giving him no room for his own feeling. Downtalking his family, even threatning his family. He called the police in the end. She stopped harrassing his family, but she didn't stop harassing him. In-fact, it got worse. He's now blocked her on every media possible - and will have to repport her to the police again. Those kind of people will claw their way in, and they will stick to you. Wanting to bring you down with them.

Give it all to the police again, that's my advice. I understand it's trickier when there are kids involved, and I can't even imagine the stress and pain it's causing you. I am so sorry you have to go through this.

barbidoll

I have years of emails and I am worried it is a lot for anyone to go through but I  want to be able to show to police and court the insanity of it all.  I found one email where he blames me for a fight the night I left and essentially blames me for him grabbing my 12 year old daughter when she tried to take trash out to get away from his anger.  He grabbed he so rough she ended up falling. Then he says he should have pressed charges on me. Oh he claimed I pressed charges on him for that and I didn't because I left town the following day.  I guess I am worried it is so much people won't want to see but I think it all shows how nuts it is. Dude has brought up me being sexually abused multiple times to shamed me and I have a text where he claims to havr been molested as a teenager. Oh he told me not to take our son to a church  years ago that had a gay pastor but a year ago he claimed to me that he was bisexual. It's all weird. No wonder I let myself believe he was okay. The insanity in those emails just makes my head spin.
  I actually was thinking about going to police and saying look I have all this what can I do but I got sidetracked by my son yesterday telling me he had a nightmare while at his Dad's that Dad kicked him out. He said it was so distressing he could not go back to sleep. My son is in therapy but is resistant to sharing about Dad with anyone but me. 
  Anyway thanks for saying it isn't right. I know it isn't but I feel like I need people to say this is nuts and wrong.  I was looking at emails last night asking myself why I let it go when I had a restraining order? I had a restraining order for four years and I never called the police over harassment. I don't know maybe I thought I was supposed to deal with it because I have his son.  Not sure why I didn't but I need to do something now because this is not right.

Sceal

It's the police's job to read through all of it, or a lawyers. You shouldn't worry that they think it's too much for them to read.
It's been happening, and it is still going on. It affects your safety, your health. And that of your children's. They are bound by law to take you seriously, especially since you already got a restraining order in place. Then they know this guy is not okay.

I believe in you. You can do this!

barbidoll

My restraining order expired a few years ago.  :stars: Kicking myself that I didn't report any of it while it was still in place but I am tired and scared so I need to do something about it now.  The other day in his email he said to bring our son to the parking lot for today's pickup and all I can think is, "Noooo!"   I need to do something and stop letting the scary and crazy behaviors go!   This week he even seemed to threaten that he will go into my emails or that he already has.  I am now afraid to communicate with my son on his phone because his Dad said that he can pull anything off it since he is the administrator. How messed up is that that I am afraid?  Meanwhile our son in confused. I think he is realizing Dad lies and well he has known for awhile that Dad is angry at me. He even told me he had a nightmare that Dad kicked him out of his apartment. Trying to figure out what step to take next right now. I lost my ID so I am trying to figure how to replace it with no ID and no birth certificate so I can get documents from another state about custody so I can see about modifying those and so I also can see about getting another protective order.   I need to stop just letting this go because doing that has left me in fear of even taking action.