My son is mad at me for leaving his abusive father

[barbidoll]

  My son is angry at me for leaving his father 9 years ago.  He doesn't even know what went on then or a lot of the stuff his father has said to me since. This man has been verbally, emotionally and psychologically abusive to me but my son in upset I left. I don't even know what to say to him.  I feel like I am in a losing battle for my son's affections. Can't tell him that Dad has been abusive to me and his sisters, and I don't know how to explain it otherwise. I tried using Dad's anger since he has seen firsthand but apparently according to my son that's only at me or others who hurt him or some other such nonsense.  So yeah I guess it's okay for Dad to be angry at me like that.  I am lost. I don't even know what to do. 

[Three Roses]

Do you have a therapist that can help you explain this to him?

[barbidoll]

No I don't have one but am working on finding one. I actually thought of doing that after I posted this.  Called the domestic violence center earlier this week but am waiting to find out when someone has some time free to help me get there and pick up my boys after school too. That way I am not so anxious about being late to get them from school.  Sometimes it seems like jusr coordinating everyone's needs is a task in itself.

[JamesG]

Hi Barbidoll,

I'm afraid this is pretty typical, but in time you'll win this argument. Right now the emotions are running high and instinct is going to be a huge factor, it's horribly unfair I know, but time is on your side. You've done the right thing, that is the legacy that will endure and in time your son will see it. I wish I could suggest something that could change it for you now but your son will have to have his moment for now. It WILL pass. Big hugs x